View Full Version : confused!!!
Hi there everyone, i don't really know the purpose of this post or what i want people to say, i think its just me needing to get me thoughts out. I have posted similar about this before, but still not sure what to do. I have M.E and have been totally bedridden and housebound for 2 years and 5 months, i am very poorly and feel like i am missing out on so much with my family, husband and children. A few months ago i went through an extra bad time where i felt as though i was stuck in a constant panic for a month or so, i spoke with my doctor on the phone who precribed me citalopram she advised me to take 10mg every other day for a week or 2 then up it to every day, to see how i go and then to increase to 20mg if neccessary, i said my husband would collect the prescription and i would think about it, (i have a real phobia about taking medicines) ever since they have sat in a draw. I feel so ill every day, dizzy, weak, exhausted, ibs, sleep problems, anxiety, headaches, nauseas, achey etc etc the list goes on, i think i am terrified of, if i take them, they might make me feel more unwell and i just can't handle that happening to me. I read lots of good success stories about citalopram but i can't seem to feel reassured by them i only seem to be able to focus on peoples negative stories about them. My family are urging me to try them as they just want me back and want me to try anything i can, but i know they are not gonna be my cure as i also have M.E, i know they are just trying to help me but they do not experience how i feel every day, and don't understand the fear of feeling any worst. Deep down i do think they would be of benefit to me, but i don't think i am being honest with my self about just how anxious and down i am feeling lately.
I feel like i am in a constant battle with my self as i know the best thing to do with anxiety is to push yourself and try to get on with it and distract yourself, but having M.E I am unable to push myself as that sends me into huge relapses of my symptoms worstening, but also with all this anxiety hanging around i am finding it difficult to do the things i nneed to do to help with the M.E like resting as my sleeping is terrible at the mo and i feel totally unable to relax properly feel like i am always on edge, things like going out in a wheelchair, but i am just too scared as i feel so ill and feel much safer in my own surroundings. I feel like i am trying to battle against each illness but its just not working. Sorry for the rant, but i just felt like i need to get some feelings out, so confused just don't know what to do for the best :weep:
hi i always fear avein me wen my Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/anxiety) is high i seem to feel weak tired and total wore out then i start thinkin is it me how do u find out wich it is any wya take care lv trish
hi i always fear avein me wen my Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/anxiety) is high i seem to feel weak tired and total wore out then i start thinkin is it me how do u find out wich it is any wya take care lv trish
Hi trish,
I was diagnosed by a neurologist, but i was also under the care of several other docs, a rheumatologist, endocrineologist, and a cardiologist, to rule everything else out first. a propper diagnoses for M.E is made after 6 months of the symptoms and when all other possibilities are ruled out, i had it when i was 13, so knew that is what i had.
for me when my anxiety is settled, i am still really poorly and bedridden, although everything does get worst if my anxiety levels are high,
Have you spoke to gp aout your concerns?
hi!
Its awful what your having to go through and with regards medication, everyone is different in how they take to it. what you have to consider is the pro and cons and weigh up if its personally right for you. the starting dose is very small so any problems and it wont take long to go out of your system.
I had to force myself to move away from the anxiety rut and i dip in and out but even the smallest step will give you momentum. i have bad moments but every so often, when for example i can pull myself out of a panic attack, i congratulate myself for a victory. even if you can just sit in your wheel chair in the house and gradually move to the garden. you must break the cycle, and i know thats much easier said than done but honestly I believe you can do it. and im here if you need someone.xxx :)
hi!
Its awful what your having to go through and with regards medication, everyone is different in how they take to it. what you have to consider is the pro and cons and weigh up if its personally right for you. the starting dose is very small so any problems and it wont take long to go out of your system.
I had to force myself to move away from the anxiety rut and i dip in and out but even the smallest step will give you momentum. i have bad moments but every so often, when for example i can pull myself out of a panic attack, i congratulate myself for a victory. even if you can just sit in your wheel chair in the house and gradually move to the garden. you must break the cycle, and i know thats much easier said than done but honestly I believe you can do it. and im here if you need someone.xxx :)
Thank-you for your kind and encouraging words, I think if i were just suffering anxiety/depression without the M.E i might find it a little easier to take the meds, as there is a good chance they would make me feel better, but having the M.E so severe worries me bout getting any worst, also sometimes M.E sufferers can be very sensitive to meds, so i am not sure whether thats is a good or a bad thing, as in will work very well for me easily, or i will react badly to. I just wish i could be less of a negative thinker and not dwell on the what ifs 24/7 and just go for it. Are you taking any meds?:hugs:
there is a subsection on the forum for cit and at the top there is a survivor's guide written by poet.
I used it a lot as it explains all the things you do not get from the leaflet and you GP.
I would urge you to have a read.
Elen
No im not on meds, im trying alternative routes like exercise and dietry changes. keeping the mind occupied is what im hoping will change things. although coz of my sinus infection ive been out of action for 3 months and stuck indoors. cabin fever really setting in lol
focusing on the negative is what we do as anxiety sufferers but it doesnt have to always be that way. what in your life are you grateful for? proud of? its those things we cant always see when the anxiety cloud hangs over us but at some point we have to fight it, we are worth soooo much more.
How about making a very small goal for yourself? im gonna make it to the gym this weekend (been quite anxious bout it coz of the dizzines and fear of fainting in public). try making one now, something small but you'll find once you achieve something, the feeling of success will propell you forward. maybe sitting out of bed for a few hours? or something like that.
You really can do this, just take each step at a time.xxxx
:hugs:
there is a subsection on the forum for cit and at the top there is a survivor's guide written by poet.
I used it a lot as it explains all the things you do not get from the leaflet and you GP.
I would urge you to have a read.
Elen
Thank-you i will have a good read, i just find it hard to know what to do for the best, having a physicall illness as well as a mental health issue.
No im not on meds, im trying alternative routes like exercise and dietry changes. keeping the mind occupied is what im hoping will change things. although coz of my sinus infection ive been out of action for 3 months and stuck indoors. cabin fever really setting in lol
focusing on the negative is what we do as anxiety sufferers but it doesnt have to always be that way. what in your life are you grateful for? proud of? its those things we cant always see when the anxiety cloud hangs over us but at some point we have to fight it, we are worth soooo much more.
How about making a very small goal for yourself? im gonna make it to the gym this weekend (been quite anxious bout it coz of the dizzines and fear of fainting in public). try making one now, something small but you'll find once you achieve something, the feeling of success will propell you forward. maybe sitting out of bed for a few hours? or something like that.
You really can do this, just take each step at a time.xxxx
I see an occupational therepist every couple of weeks and she has given me a routine to follow and included very small goals on it like trying to sit in garden in wheel chair, getting to sofa instead of being in bed, getting myself a drink, small things to some, but like climbing a mountain for me. But at the moment i am feeling so awefull i am struggling to even get to loo. i think that is what i am struggling with, with the anxiety push yourself to do it, but with M.E if you push yourself it can have a very negative consequence, not a good combination of illnesses to have i guess xx:hugs:
A friend of mine's daughter currently has ME and is in a wheelchair, so I do understand how difficult a problem it is to deal with.
My best advice on the anxiety is that learning to manage it is about managing your mind, not your body (although when you get the hang of managing your mind, your body will also improve, even in small ways).
Kate11's right - even the smallest things can help it, and one of the the things I've discovered about anxiety is that it's very important to accept that you've got it. I'm a naturally anxious person, but for me it peaks and gets out of control, sometimes for long periods at a time and I've had to take antidepressants a number of times (in fact, I'm on them at the moment after finally admitting defeat around Christmas last year).
Obviously whether or not you take the citalopram is your decision, but if it's helpful I think your GP has given you a very sensible regime to take it, as you're starting with a small dose every other day. This should help reduce the side-effects, as these are often related to the dosage.
You do need to be honest with yourself about the anxiety though, so have a good think about this. I've added a link to a standard anxiety questionnaire that a lot of GPs and counsellors use. Don't worry, it doesn't give you any terrible diagnoses, but it gives a score to rate how much anxiety you are suffering If you do this, it may help you to get a more accurate picture of your condition.
Hope this is useful. I did the questionnaire just before Christmas, and I scored 20, which is very high. After some CBT and now I'm on medication, I did the questionnare again and my score was three, which is a huge improvement for me and I generally feel much better.
A friend of mine's daughter currently has ME and is in a wheelchair, so I do understand how difficult a problem it is to deal with.
My best advice on the anxiety is that learning to manage it is about managing your mind, not your body (although when you get the hang of managing your mind, your body will also improve, even in small ways).
Kate11's right - even the smallest things can help it, and one of the the things I've discovered about anxiety is that it's very important to accept that you've got it. I'm a naturally anxious person, but for me it peaks and gets out of control, sometimes for long periods at a time and I've had to take antidepressants a number of times (in fact, I'm on them at the moment after finally admitting defeat around Christmas last year).
Obviously whether or not you take the citalopram is your decision, but if it's helpful I think your GP has given you a very sensible regime to take it, as you're starting with a small dose every other day. This should help reduce the side-effects, as these are often related to the dosage.
You do need to be honest with yourself about the anxiety though, so have a good think about this. I've added a link to a standard anxiety questionnaire that a lot of GPs and counsellors use. Don't worry, it doesn't give you any terrible diagnoses, but it gives a score to rate how much anxiety you are suffering If you do this, it may help you to get a more accurate picture of your condition.
Hope this is useful. I did the questionnaire just before Christmas, and I scored 20, which is very high. After some CBT and now I'm on medication, I did the questionnare again and my score was three, which is a huge improvement for me and I generally feel much better.
I agree with everything you have both advised, but it guess it is my phobia of meds that is making me question it, i am also looking into alternative therepies but not sure how much that would help as i have never tried any before, and would need to find a therepist that would be willing to do home visits and living fairly rural i am not sure how likely that will be. I have always been an anxious sort of person, but previous to having M.E i was able to push myself through it and although hard at times it didn't stop me living a normal and busy life and i still did everything i wanted to do.
The questionaire you mentioned how do i find that i would be very intersted to see what my score comes out as:hugs:
Derrr..... I forgot to add the link!
here it is:
http://www.patient.co.uk/doctor/Generalised-Anxiety-Disorder-Assessment-(GAD-7).htm
Derrr..... I forgot to add the link!
here it is:
http://www.patient.co.uk/doctor/Generalised-Anxiety-Disorder-Assessment-(GAD-7).htm
Thank-you for the link, i just did the test and my result came out at 19 and said severe anxiety :weep: so it guess its i time to seriously think about whether i can bring myself to take the citalopram :ohmy:
Eek, that is a high score. Well, I can only speak from my own experience, but citalopram has worked for me.
I'd been in a high anxiety state for about 3 years following a bunch of major life events and by the end of last year, I was climbing the walls; I wasn't having panic attacks (I seem to have grown out of those for some reason), but my mind was constantly in overdrive, I couldn't sleep more than about 3 hours a night, and when I did sleep, I was getting horrendous nightmares. I felt wrecked physically as well and was in constant pain from IBS - I managed not to have any time off work, but I'd go in every day and all I could think about was how long I could last without having to go to the loo.
I also found CBT useful - maybe you could find a counsellor who could visit you, or give you sessions over the phone? I've also tried mindfulness, which for me is brilliant as it stops my mind racing.
Katie 6
Hi I'm new but this website this morning just by reading how bad some people are out there has made me a lot more focused well for now anyway..... But the reason why is after reading some of the posts including yours it's made me reassured that I'm not on my own I'm not going mad and also made me think yes when ever I get these symptoms and like this morning while i was doing school run I felt dreadful I'm home and although I do feel drained I don't feel half as bad as I did this morning driving, I'm still hear and alive. I think you should try and have the attitude everyday I'm like this BUT I'm still hear , a lot of my symptoms are in my head, try and read others stories because I think it puts things into perspective, yes I know you have got other serious medical conditions which are another battle but the anxiety aspect just have the " bring it on attitude" I get soo soo cross after a while I think sod it if i'm going to faint sod it. Have you got a garden , try going out into the garden you could do a little herb garden project, or going
up and down the road for 5 minutes. I find that all I think about is feeling unwell like oh what if I get a migraine BUT I try even if it's watching my favorite program on tv can help. Take care X my first post about what I've been through is on the search - fear of fainting.,
Katie 6
Hi I'm new but this website this morning just by reading how bad some people are out there has made me a lot more focused well for now anyway..... But the reason why is after reading some of the posts including yours it's made me reassured that I'm not on my own I'm not going mad and also made me think yes when ever I get these symptoms and like this morning while i was doing school run I felt dreadful I'm home and although I do feel drained I don't feel half as bad as I did this morning driving, I'm still hear and alive. I think you should try and have the attitude everyday I'm like this BUT I'm still hear , a lot of my symptoms are in my head, try and read others stories because I think it puts things into perspective, yes I know you have got other serious medical conditions which are another battle but the anxiety aspect just have the " bring it on attitude" I get soo soo cross after a while I think sod it if i'm going to faint sod it. Have you got a garden , try going out into the garden you could do a little herb garden project, or going
up and down the road for 5 minutes. I find that all I think about is feeling unwell like oh what if I get a migraine BUT I try even if it's watching my favorite program on tv can help. Take care X my first post about what I've been through is on the search - fear of fainting.,
Hi there, it sounds like you have the right attitude towards the anxiety, and hope fully it will help in your recovery. I do try to do small things when i can but my M.E is so severe that some days even getting myself to the loo can feel like climbing a montain (not that i have ever climbed a mountain ha ha) i am working with an occupational therepist who is trying to help me to do small tasks around the house, she visits me each fortnight and i am also working with a clinical pshycologist who visits me once a week and she is trying to use cbt tecniques in an attempt to help me manage the illness (M.E) and to help with the anxiety. Yesterday i managed to get to the car so got my husband to take me for a drive and popped to my nieces new place she had just moved into, all in all i was out of the house for about an hour and a half and today i am really suffering :( i try to push myself to help the anxiety but it worsens the M.E, it is so hard to get the balance right. I occasionally do try to sit in the Garden, if i can manage the stairs but i am so sensetive to light i find it unbearable, i spent most of my time in a darkened room, it really is miserable, but hopefully one day my M.E will improve and then i feel i will be able to push myself to overcome the other issues. xxx
Hi again katie6, Im so sorry I understand now after reading your last post just how physically unwell you are. Life can be so so cruel. My sister in law has M.S although not severe, and generally manages to carry on a relatively normal life. But anxiety alone is such a struggle to cope with and you are an inspiration, dealing with two enormous conditions! I hope you can get to the point where your MS is manageable so that maybe your feeling well enough to tackle the anxiety, fingers crossed :flowers:
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