Even when your ready it still knocks you for six

[mel1972]

Its coming up to the 2 yr anniversary of losing my mum, and the start of my Health Anxiety, and although i knew it wasnt going to be a joyride.. i just feel like rubbish!
The usual aches and pains lack of sleep, nausea, teariness but a new one has arrived, i have a pain in my left side, below my ribs, all last night it was there not painful just if i laid funny or moved quickly i could feel a dull ache.
This morning it is a little worse and sometimes it feels like someone is squeezing me. It is tender to the touch and thought at first i had knocked myself but there is no bruise.
It does make a change from thinking the worst about having a Heart attack.. But like usual because i havent had this before i am worried it is something bad! Then the stress kicks in and viscious circle here we come.
I am sorry for posting but need to get off of my chest. No one knows to what extent i am suffering as i suffer in silence (in the real world)
I am waiting on CBT and use a couple of iphone apps but none really help.
Looking for a book to read about Health Anxiety or decent iphone apps if anyone can recommend as i am now fed up with feeling crap and i am sure my mum is going mad that i am putting myself through this.

[Horse]

Mel.
First of all, never ever apologies for posting on here. That is the whole idea of this site!

Yes, you're right. It's no picnic what has happened and what you are going through at the moment. You will find there are bad days and days that are not so bad. You may also find that just as you thought you were doing ok, something will hit you again.

There is no quick and easy way of getting through or over the greiving process and sadly it is something that most of us have to experience at sometime or other.

I believe your symptoms are classic Anxiety related and also quite natural for someone who is a sufferer.

I can strongly recomment the Dr. Claire Weekes books. In my opinion the best there has ever been. You will find them on Amazon.

And yes, your Mum is probably doing her nut that you are putting yourself through this constant torture.

Take care,
Horse.

[Christers]

Hi Mel! It's totally understandable that you're feeling this way after suffering the loss of your mum. Two years is not a long time ago!

Anyway, in the hope of reassuring you, the pain you described i too have been having since Jan. It's like someone is squeezing you inside (just below the left ribs). I haven't been to the doctor about this as it tends to come and go (particularly when i'm anxious!) and so i've have put it down to anxiety. It's unbelievable what effects anxiety can have on your body. I was a healthy, symptom free person until i developed anxiety about my health after the birth of my son. I think the best we can do is tell ourselves 'it's 'just' anxiety' and try our best not to focus on the feelings, as this will feed the anxiety symptoms. All the best with things. Take care!

[mel1972]

thank you for your replies, I really appriciate your time and advice, i have gone and got myself an added worry.. i have just been to see a herbalist for something to help me sleep, and they told me i have a weak pulse and poor circulation.
Now thats making the anxiety hit the roof and i am now in floods of tears.
I hate being this way and i wish i was like my brother and dad who have seemed to have dealt with this whole situation so much better than me.
I have no friends who understand what i am going through and i try and hide this all from my kids who are 18 and 16, in fear that they will think i am going mad.
And to be honest i am having a hard time convincing myself i am not!
Thank you again for your kind replies.
And i will look into the Claire Weekes books.

[valleybear]

Hi Mel, Sorry you are having a difficult time at the moment. Since I lost my husband lots of things catch me unawares and then all the symptoms of anxiety start to rear their ugly heads!! As for the herbalist...they are not doctors and everyone's circulation is different and pulse varies a great deal, so I would really not be concerned.Maybe they wanted to sell you more herbal remedies?? Please do not let that last worry make you worse....dismiss it for now and you could always ask your doctor or nurse next time you visit if it is still on your mind, but I doubt very much if it is anything significant.. XX

[mel1972]

thank you valley bear, especially after your loss and suffering to take the time to post trying to put my mind at ease is most appreciated, i have calmed down a bit and although the pain in my side is still there i know it is anxiety related and will just put up with it.
Just to get through tonight now.
thank you everyone.