How to cope and how to stop the tension?

[phil06]

I've had this problem most of the year really. Where do I start hard to describe how I feel but it makes me feel really awkward and trapped at times and like my symptoms are unique and not as common.

I've suffered 2 other bad spells of anxiety however it was more panic attacks and tension but now I get symptoms like depersonalization. Not sure if it's rebound anxiety but I get a symptom or do a normal task sometimes I get really worked up about it and feel I can't cope..just get so worked up.

Almost EVERYTIME I go out the house I expect the funny feelings to come when my panic is low it's just an acceptance that everything feels unreal and I notice it more with worry, but not worrying concerns me as I look back and think I know when I don't worry it still exists and that's just not a pleasant way to live feeling this bubble/dream state. I think I'm most concerned that it will stick around and won't go, had it almost a year and I've heard it can last years. In the past I had the symptom for a few hours and it passed never weeks on end or months. It makes me feel depressed, lack of emotion, numb, lifeless, floating and it's a tense feeling from my head to bottom my muscles feel tense at this awful feeling. Ignoring it helps but I know it's still lurking, even at a smaller tempo. I do fear never feeling normal.

I worry about my bowels and they have improved many said it's IBS but even going to the toilet as normal works me up..every time I go out I'm checking for that incomplete or urge feeling to go..my head just rumbles on about bowels, bowels bowels to a degree if I need to pee it feels like it's my bowels so I reckon there's a nerve link?

Basically last May I failed a driving test and that set my worse panic off ever since I realise I'm always tense, I just can't relax unless it's like something the doctor gave me like Diazepam or drinking a beer other than that I feel very sensitive and tense about life..I live in fear and the DP makes me feel seperated/not part of life.

I have made progress in ways as I got quite agoraphobic for a few months but say bowel issues that can make me fear going out or DP feelings..has anybody else found they became housebound due to trivial other anxieties than the usual panic/fear of dying? I wonder if a progress diary might help me?

How can I feel once again I can cope? getting worked up is not coping, even if it means I go out or don't rush to the GP. For me feeling unreal/DP feelings is not enjoying life and being relaxed..I see it as not coping, I see it like some serious illness as that's how I feel. I have been out of work got another job interview but I do fear how I can cope working again been a couple of months out of work.

There is many positives but I feel depressed and like I can't cope at times..but there's weeks where I do feel I can cope and I have made progress. Don't wanna rush back to the GP due to a set back first off is it all anxiety? How do I feel I can cope and lose the feelings of tense every day? I have it in my head anxiety is just panic attacks but I feel it's not normal to have tension each day? I came in from a night out last night worked up and I was like..it was a good night but I'm anxious, I feel trapped in life, the symptoms just bug me like a headache so that spoiled it for me.

Does it get better? :shrug:

[phil06]

Nobody help? I posted another post here too: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=94925 bowels have been better today though.

I feel really alone in my suffering...like I'm the only one right now I was going to have a job interview today but never went as I just felt can't be bothered then had rebound anxiety thinking how am I gonna work?

In my last job my issue was bowels and depersonalization and I felt I couldn't cope..panic attacks in work in other jobs was easy do the work and you forget the panic but if you feel incomplete bowels or unreality you can't connect with people you work with without feeling in a bubble..it's making me feel how do I work? it sounds trivial but I'd seriously much rather have ten panic attacks at work than suffer DP and bowel issues..maybe I am over fussing over it? I felt really crap going into work feeling depersonalized and ill in my previous job..I fear when I do get another job I will struggle and won't feel much better.

The tension has eased a bit but for a few days all I felt was grouchy and restless..I OCD over how I feel my issues are depersonalization, bowels, ocd, depression and panic..being honest I turn down alot of things dates too can be hard but I have been positive and went on loads or went for interviews in the past..ive felt the bowel issues and depersonalization for a year quite bad which made me agoraphobic to a degree I'd not go to the local shop..since got over that it's day by day stuff it's 50/50 to whether I go out right now that means I tell people maybe I'll go, positive is I am going places (sometimes)..but I dwell on not going and feel really hopeless about it.

I feel it;s unusual to suffer agoraphobia, bowels and depersonalization sometimes before panic attacks maybe somebody else has here? It's hard as compared to where I have been, I'm alot better most blips are only a day right now but I feel progress is slow..past few weeks I have felt well I've been going walks for months now which I wasn't during my worst..kept going longer ones and now I feel, yes I want to work but how? tonight I was worried I'd get hungry as it's a late interview about 6pm and I worked myself up sitting here and it's too late to go. Also worried I'd feel depersonalized there or on the train..does it harm me? No..what makes me fear it? knowing it exists and feeling I don't exist I feel quite worked up and annoyed upset that this symptom makes me feel unreal, not part of life because you enjoy things less and I'm always aware of it..and I fear it's something serious..it's just a very alone and discontenting feeling..going out and it being there seems a failure to me.

I have diazepam but avoided it, I could get imodium for my bowels but I'm stubborn I know I can relax and it would help this but I must get over it and feel better..I duno how but I refuse to dwell back into meds and therapies. Just knowing there's some way out gives me hope...? I keep getting thoughts like "I can't cope" and get worked up, stressed, wound up in my head and that doesn't help normal feelings just stress me out.

Can anybody help? even to know I'm not alone in this bubble of strange anxiety..:blush: