g.a.d. and work

[fridaycider]

hi, i have been suffering from general anxiety dissorder and depression for about 5 years now. at first i had a total breakdown and lost my job and house, i had to move back in with my parents. over the last 3 years i have been doing permitted work (16 hours) which does suit me but sometimes i struggle with that. last week my friend offered me a full time job which i am pleased about but my mind is doing overtime with dread about failing at it and letting myself and my friend down. if i take the job i have to take the jump because it is full time from the start and i do not think i am ready, but feel if i dont take it i will not get another offer like it.i am trying to think positive but i am finding it difficult to hold on to the positive thoughts. i can continue part time but scared about loosing my benefits also. has anyone else been in this situation ,. thanks for listening

[Tyke]

Hi Fridaycider

Does your friend know your exact situation? If your friend is in a position to offer you the job is there any way they could influence things to ease you in a bit more gently? It seems a shame to miss out on this opportunity - if your friend is supportive, maybe you could find a way to do it? Gradually increasing your hours or doing less stressful aspects of the job to start with etc.

Good luck, I hope this works out for you.

Tyke

[FlutterbyDreams]

Hi fridaycider

You could always see if they would agree to you arranging a work trial through the Jobcentre. The disability advisor suggested them to me because they give you the chance to try out the job without losing your benefits if you decide not to stay. I'm not sure what the exact criteria are, but it might be worth looking into. :)

[fridaycider]

thank you for the advice. my friend does know about my condition but i havent spoke to him about it. the situation with the job is that at the moment i work installing garden watering products and travel everyday which does suit me. as i am not stuck in the same place every day and i am just working in some peaceful places most of the time. the company has been really understanding and it get's me out and about. sometimes can get overwhelming and i have to back off a bit. this job i have been offered is in the motor trade, doing m.o.t's on cars and i would be placed in a workshop next to my friend who offered me the job so i cannot see any flexibility with it as i will be the only one in there as it's a new part of his business he is setting up. i am lucky i am not at work today as i am a mess this morning. i really want to move forward and it seems a good opportunity.

another thing , is anyone on xanax xr as i have tried all sorts of different meds and i am not having much luck with any of them, at the moment i am on quatiapine xr 300mg and just makes me dopey and detached from reality.

thanks again

[blueangel]

I agree with the others who have posted already - it's worth seeing if you could give it a try. In any case, having your friend by your side would mean that you get support from someone that you're at ease with, and also I would imagine he would be understanding of your condition as he knows you as a person and not "just" as an employee.

[fridaycider]

hi again, thanks for the advice so far. i think i have come to the conclusion that i am going to stick with the part time work i have got . not 100% decided yet but need to talk to therapist first and then have a chat with my friend. i am struggling with just trying to push myself and make a decision.my therapist will just say it's up to you,and i know it can only be my decsison at the end of the day. have been panicking and in a state of despair and physically being sick just thinking about it. i have been making some progress but over the last couple of days i have not felt this bad in a long time. it sounds bad but i wish he hadn't asked me now. sorry for rambling on.

[Lala'sworld]

Hi Fridaycider
I too have GAD and I often struggle to get to work. I recently moved 14 miles away from my job having lived and worked in the same Village for the last 11 years. When the oppertunity came for me to get a council house at last I thought OMG what about the travel to and from work....it set me in a panic but I had to take the offer and touch wood, to date the travelling to and from work hasn't been too bad.
I use Rescue Remedy and Kalms to help me with my GAD as well as Visualisation and diversion techniques. I long since gave up on medication which more often than not caused side effects and after lots of research I have learnt that oneself feeds the anxiety in me...
I am currently receiving counselling and interesting things have come to light in my fight against GAD.
Having read your posts, perhaps the full time job you've been offered isn't really the one for you. Good luck with your continued recovery.:shades:

[fridaycider]

hi, lala'sworld, thank you for the reply . i know i am the one that fuels the anxiety , i have not grasped fully how to stop. sometimes i can pull myself out of it but it still takes days rather than hours or minutes. i am currently reading a book that a good friend of mine bought me called feal the fear and do it anyway and it makes me anxious to read that.lol. what is worrying me is that i have tried a few full time jobs since i had a breakdown and this part time work actually helps as it is not too stressful and i can back off a bit if things overwhelm me. the other jobs i have lasted a couple of months or the last one lasted a week. i'd rather have something than nothing and not let people down in the process . it's the ruminating that seems to be my problem. :weep:

[Lala'sworld]

Hi Fridaycider
I think you are achieving much in doing your part-time job which seems to be therapuetic too so I'd concentrate on that and enjoy life as much as you can.

Having GAD is hard to cope with as there is no rhyme nor reason to why we feel this fear.:unsure:However, it sure helps to know we are not alone in these feelings.
TC:shades:

[fridaycider]

thank you again, well just tried to get out of the house today since sunday and was sick because i couldnt relax ,came back home and now beating myself with the blame stick. really not coping well this week.
just feel insecure and frightened. just dont know what to do for the best. just wish there was a magic switch.
sorry for going on..

[ewood79]

Hey Friday cider, you sound like your doing a good job, and to be working part time and getting out and about etc.

The hardest thing about having little setbacks is that there a good thing because it gives you a chance to have a look around and see what's happening which you have done and decided to stay in your part time job.

Keep your chin up mate, it will get better as it has before as my therapist says just ride the waves!

[fridaycider]

hi ewood , thank you for your support . i really got exited about this job and thought it was a new start, but because of the circumstances my mind has started doing overtime. basically if i have a job coping with everyday tasks at the moment i am going to find it hard with this new job. i just want to leave my parents so i have a bit of independance and space and i am dreading it will never happen if i dont take this job.

[jtoyota]

Hi
It sounds to me like you were doing well with the part time work. It gives you a purpose and something to concentrate on whilst at the same time allowing you the flexibilty you need to cope with the condition.
None of us letting down others - particularly when they are good friends, but I am sure your friend will understand and in a very real sense you are actually helping him out. If you are not ready for the step to full time employment - particularly in such a small and personal work envrionment, then very quickly it might become apparent it is not for you and then that would put a strain on both of you.
Keep up the reading, as the meds aren't the ultimate answer in all of this. What is important is that you keep the foundations you have already built for yourself and keep building them. A wobble is a wobble, but depending on you present state of mind it could have a broader effect.

I think you have made the right decision - and having made it, would urge you to try and not think about it too much moving forward. When the time is right - then you will know, and your friend will still be a friend whatever the outcome.

[fridaycider]

thank you for the great advise, i have been to work today and been very wobbly. one part of my mind is telling me there is no reason not to go for this job and the rest is saying exactly what you have told me. i even spoke to my aunt who went through a bad patch of anxiety, and she told me the same"take baby steps" and she said she got through it by accepting that she was an anxious person and saying the anxiety is just a feeling and not trying to fight it. it took her years but she manages to get on with things even though she might stumble a few times the 24/7 anxiety just becomes the norm and she accepts it now . it does make sense to me but it is going to be hard . the demons have been doing overtime today and i'm glad to be home...