not happy

[sb001f8994]

Hi,
I feel a bit of a fraud writing this as my problem seems trivial but it is driving me mad all the same.
At Christmas my 26 year old son asked could his girlfriend stop over so I said yes, thinking it would be once a week or so. Shes here five nights a week, eats here and leaves her washing too. Ive tried to talk to my son about it and he accuses me of not liking her which couldnt be further from the truth, she is a nice girl who makes him happy. What I dont like is the situation. His room is left a mess, the bathroom too. He's been warned by me and his dad too to keep it clean but it falls on deaf ears. It didnt bother my husband until she started using his razor to shave her legs. He, though, still isnt as upset by it as me. Ive also never thought myself a prude but their extremely noisy sex is just a step too far, especially when I asked my son to leave me and his dad a saturday night for 'us' time and he said that it was sick at our age...Im only 49!
Sorry for waffling on but this is causing me to feel sick all the time, Im comfort eating and I dread them coming home. They were away last week and it was heaven!

[shoegal]

Hi. Your problem isn't trivial at all! I think you have been very accomodating and your son and his girlfriend are taking advantage! And OMG at the girlfriend using your husband's razor! I think you need to decide what you want. Do you want the girlfriend to stay over a couple of nights a week? Or do you think it's time that they got a place of their own? I think it is perfectly reasonable that you and your husband would like some privacy in your own home, and listening to them having noisy sex is not on! I think you and your husband need to sit down together and decide what you want, and then you need to talk to your son and lay down some ground rules. If he doesn't abide by them show him the door!

[sb001f8994]

Thanks shoegal,
Ive tried to talk to my husband and although the razor thing bothered him he says I'm over reacting and that I will not be happy until our son is ousted out. He doesnt see how unhappy this is maikng me or the fact that its costing me a fortune (my son pays £100 a month dispite being in full time employment).
I feel like Im turning into a moaning minny!
Thanks once again

[margaret jones]

Blimey Carol you are a saint certainly not a Moaning minnie , dont really know what advice to give you never been in the same situation , must be very difficult .

Have you thought of maybe all having a night out together and laying your cards on the table and explaining how uncomfortable you feel and laying down some rules xxx
Good Luck xx

[LucyR]

Hi, Your Son has very obviously taken advantage of this situation. I don't think its a good idea to let them stay together over nights in your house at all. Weekend visits should be enough and then let them both go back to their own house, this will just end in trouble.

[blueangel]

You could always raise the rent on the grounds that there are now two of them living in the house! They wouldn't even get a tent for £100 a month. That might sort them out. :D

[sb001f8994]

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my post. My son offered extra money but I fear if I take this he may move his girlfriend in altogether. And Ive just discovered when my son stays at her dads (she sort of lives between her parents as they are divorced) he has to sleep in the spare room and for some reason they are only allowed to stay at her mums once a week and she is always falling out with her mum. The whole situation is a mess and as I know I will be the wicked witch if I say too much and without my husbands back up Im sort of scared to say what I really feel.
Thanks again xx

[paula lynne]

Hi Carol x
Wow, Im a bit shocked by their lax behaviour really. Totally agree with Shoegal. Not being funny, but its extremely unhygienic to use another persons razor, maybe your hubby could explain that to your son.....or......keep the razors in a different place. Cheeky mare she is!

You are perfectly entitled to have time with your huband in your own house, and your son saying this is "sick" is diplaying his evident immaturity......

Do me a favour...stopping picking up after your son and gf, and doing washing for them.Hes not five for heavens sake............this will be hard........DONT go into the room, leave everything in a mess, shut the door. He will soon learn that either they learn to take a bit more responsibility and show you some respect, or find somewhere else.

I think youve been more than accomidating Carol x Id be less subtle....Id be banging on the wall if I heared them having noisey sex, maybe that will shame them into keeping it down hahah.x

Go through it all with your hubby, and as long as youre on the same page, stick to your guns and lay down some rules. Your son will respect you for it. Please dont be scared, youre the mum...its your house. Sorry, rambling/bad spelling rant over.
Best wishes, Paula x