nervous newbie

[shadowgirl]

Hi to all. I am new. Hopefully my confidence in posting more detail will grow as I get used to all this!

[diane07]

Hi shadowgirl

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[nanny]

:welcome: to NMP

Please don't be nervous, there are some good people on here who will be here to listen and advise if they can :)

[shadowgirl]

Thank you for all of the lovely welcomes. I will share a little bit more!

I guess I have a general feeling that I don't have the right to feel the way I do, which is why I am hesitant to share.

I have a wonderful life, good job, lovely husband, good friends, no major worries so compared to what is going on in the rest of the World I have no reason to feel so blue.

I am usually a strong, rational, logical person, but over the last couple of months I have struggled to manage my emotions and phyiscal symptoms. I can be really happy, laughing and joking and then an hour later I am crying my heart out and i don't know why. My stomach spasms and my heart races and again I don't know why.

I have found abdominal breathing does help relieve some of the symptoms, but i guess what I am really struggling with is what causes this? All my background and education tells me to fix the cause not treat the symptoms, yet I can't find anything that is causing this?

I have spoken to a number of people, GP, Samartitans, my company Employee Assistance Program and everyone i speak to says that this is normal, we all have shadows its what makes us human. The thing is its not normal for me. My wonderful husband thinks that it is because i have had such a safe and sheltered life and that I am now only dealing with what most people go through in their teens. Could this be the case?

Well this is the most I have ever opened up, so i am putting myself out there.

I am looking forward to getting to know you all.

[cookie123]

Hi Shadow Girl

I also just joined yesterday, and my story is much the same as your own, i have a good job, family and friends, but took an inner ear infection, which made me dizzy and feel sick, this took 12 weeks to leave me.

But i have now been left feeling anxious, shaky, panicky, i have persivered with it for a couple of weeks, but now when i go out i start to panic, think my confidence had taken a huge blow, and cant understand what is wrong with me.

I went to the doctors and they have prescribed me Citalopram, im only on day 2 of these meds, and the doc says that they will amke me feel a bit worse before they make me better, so im going to persivere anything is better than feeling this anxious way all the time.

I just want to get back to work and feel like my old self again.

Are you trying anything at the moment, and how are you coping with it?

[Spidergirl]

Hi Shadowgirl,

I can really agree with you, had a settled life and good education and struggled going through things I feel other people would have experienced earlier. I don't think I've thought like a normal person since I was 10, they suspect something like bi polar, or personality disorder and a combination of post traumatic stress, recent experiences and like a mild ocd thing. I can pretty much lead a normal life with everything going well for me and still Im anxious or upset. Personally I think I have got some kind of personality disorder or something but combined with other things. Does this help, can you relate to what I am saying?

[shadowgirl]

Cookie 123 and Spidergirl

Thank you so much for your replies, it means so much to know I am not alone.

Cookie123, i am not on any perscribed medication, but I am trying lots of alterntive therapies, vitamins, supplements, reflexology, yoga. I am still working full time in a very high pressure role (and hiding my tears and insecurity from the people I work with!!). I am coping by trying to manage my "self talk" (I have always been really self critical and set myself impossibly high standards) and lots of breahing exercises. I am also taking the approach of just telling myself "stop being so silly, you can do this". Sometimes these things work, but I am still searching for that mystery "cause".

Spidergirl, i kind of wondered the same as you! I think there is something that is perhaps not properly connected in my head! People develop muscle or joint problems as they get older so why not the same in your brain - your thoughts mirror mine. I think I do probably have something very borderline but like you am able to function "normally" and perhaps at times of stress I can't manage things as well.

It was so lovely to hear from both of you and i am going to look out for your posts. After I have been a member for 5 days, i will be able to use the chat rooms and I would love to chat to you!

Thank you so much

[snowgoose]

hello Shadow girl :)

completely understand your bewilderment at what is happening to you. it is scary and makes one feel almost guilty when we have a nice lifestyle and family support.
This illness doesnt care though .......it strikes so many of us regardless xx

I am sure you will get lots of support and advice and friends here .
take care xx

[paula lynne]

Hi, a belated welcome to the forum. Im glad you found us, and Im sure you will get a lot of support and help here. Sometimes, its the "stepping out of the comfort zone" that gives us these anxious feelings......but its you pushing yourself and living your life, opening yourself up to new possibilites and new adventures. Im sure these feelings will settle down in time. Keep posting, your not alone, and its nice to know you.x
Paula:welcome:

[~glowly worm~]

Welcome Shadowgirl,

it sounds like you are working super hard to recover and i too am glad you have opened up. This place is very supportive and full of people who can listen or offer advice from their own personal experience so never feel afraid to be honest.
I too led a very sheltered life in some ways so i think your husband has some idea there but no matter what the cause i hope you find relief and welcome you aboard :)

~glowly~