Depression has made me selfish :-(

[haziefantasie]

My ex has told me that Im selfish, never think of anyone except myself & need to learn how to show my love properly.

I always used to think I was a loving, caring, patient person who would help anyone but now I think hes right, & I feel so guilty about it :weep: Is it wrong that Im trying to get myself better & putting myself before others? I just dont know anymore, Im so confused :mad:

[xBettyBoopx]

You don't have to have an illness/disorder to be selfish!:lac:

Seriously, if you think that you are and want to change then do, otherwise there's a reason he/she is an ex, yes?

Els

[gaaron]

hi haziefantasie, we have to look after ourselves and feel well, before we can truly look after others. Selfishness is such a missused word. I think it means we're selfish if we do something that is of detriment to others. Take care x

[evil monkey]

Im really not sure about that. thing is, you know the reality of your situation, and you know whether youre 'ok' or not. If you're not ok, then you have all the reason you need to think about you first, and other problems are less important.

thing is, you can be better for other people once you are 'ok'....so more reason to think about you first.

[Tyke]

Hi Haziefantasie

When I was depressed I just wasn't able to think about others in a way that I would do normally. Thankfully I came out of it, but when you aren't feeling great it is very hard not to let it dominate your thinking. Maybe your ex was a bit lacking in understanding of these illnesses? You might find it better to be with someone who is struggling with similar issues so you can help each other. My OH tends to get a bit down now and again, and because I know exactly what it's like I am able to be supportive to her.

Tyke

[haziefantasie]

I know that I am very low at the moment, its taking all of my energy just to get through the day so I guess its inevitable that Im not thinking about other people as much as I usually do. Its not that Im being horrible to anyone, Im just so preoccupied with trying to get better that everything else has gone out of the window :huh:

Its also occurred to me that he didnt know me before I was depressed so he doesnt know what Im normally like. He has had anxiety and depression before (and still has to a degree) but he doesnt seem to understand the way it makes me feel, maybe he was just saying it to hurt me I dont know.

Anyway thanks for your replies, its appreciated x

[sarahblonde32]

Everyone i selfish, you have to be, i have a similar situation, i blamed myself for the break up thinking i shouldve been less selfish, when really i was just looking out for myself and who else is??
Dont be hard yourself, i like being selfish, you have to think of yourself, and others too obviously but youre important.
sarah

[robot]

Apparently the caring, empathetic people are most susceptible to depression. You are a caring person, you just have lost your focus to your own thoughts. Your love will come back!