Feelings of anger because of loneliness

[mrk74]

Hi all. I was wondering if anyone else gets really jelous and angry when the weekend arrives and everyone is out and about enjoying themselves. I look out of my window and just watch everyone in this world doing something without me. It really gets to me. I do go out sometimes but because of my anxiety and shyness I just hate it. I just wish I could be like those people I see out having fun. I fear im going to be alone forever in this world.

lol xx

[Sekost]

Hey mrk

Been there done that...This illnees nakes you isolate yourself....

the only way forward is to face that fear and go for it.... good luck

[Heather23]

Hello there I do know what you mean; weekends tend to be particularly hard. My shyness definitely holds me back too, so sometimes I feel like weekends emphasise how much I stick to my comfort zone of staying in my house.

It’s been particularly hard as my ex, who I used to spend weekends with, doesn’t want me as part of his life anymore. He used to be the person who understood me, and I spend a lot of time thinking that I’ve lost my best friend and dwelling on the past.

I hope that you get through the weekend ok, but your not on your own. Hope you find something’s to keep you busy and distracted over the weekend,
Take care :) xxx

[evil monkey]

ooh yes.

well. seeing events happening on facebook and knowing weekends are for partying usually. cuz i dont have anyone to go with, and being somewhere on my own caused anxiety before. or at least if im somewhere and know im meeting up with friends at the end of the night wherever they are, feel better then.

I hate adverts for holidays for this reason. lol.

and the annoying thing was i had mates who werent into the same music, who were inviting me out for a while, and the message was "i wont enjoy a regular social till i get my weekend fix" but couldnt really tell them that. so just stopped. http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/41565_141485945866519_6445_q.jpg.

[Spidergirl]

Weekends and evenings are worst cos everyones out and im not as busy... iv started doing things at weekends, going to groups to make it easier and seeing friends. I can completely relate, im suppose we're all use to our own company now.. lol

[mrk74]

Its good to know other people can relate to me. Its just so hard for me cause I only have one friend and I hardly see him cause he's always out with his girlfriend. I just hate this feeling of loneliness. I just dont know what im going to do now my girlfriend has gone theres just a huge void there now and my anxiety is just affecting my life so much. Why cant I be normal!!:mad:

[xJust_Sarahx]

Hi mark
I know exactly what you mean, im 23 and people all around me are going out and having a laugh and i feel nothing but envious of them, and i wish i was as confident as the majority of people. It definitly gets me down. Im shy aswell so that doesnt make me feel any better.

[loveletter]

Yes I am struggling with the same thing.
I am a Christian and really do not want to feel this way.
I can not go out the house unless someone is with me and weekends and holidays are a killer for me as everyone out and about doing things and I here I sit day and night alone. It has been much worse since my husband died 4 years ago.
Do not see people very often as they always busy doing things with there own familys

[On The Outside]

I sometimes feel angry and jealous of people out enjoying themselves, in relationships etc when I feel particularly lonely. I think it's only natural really and when you have as many problems as I do and find it difficult to make new friends, the frustration can be really bad at times.

[SG]

I look out of my window and just watch everyone in this world doing something without me.


I did that last night! I got invited to a party but didn't go because of my anxiety and then I just spent the whole night moping around. There's something really taunting about the way the world looks through a window on a Saturday night. I imagined all the people in clubs or pubs or friends' houses drinking and having fun. It's definitely the lonliest time of the week. It's even more annoying and frustrating because I know that I bring it on myself by saying no to invites. It's a vicious cycle.

When i do feel that way I try to cope with it by distracting myself, watching a film or something. But sometimes there is nothing more depressing that Saturay night tv too. Gah!

[SG]

Yes I am struggling with the same thing.
I am a Christian and really do not want to feel this way.
I can not go out the house unless someone is with me and weekends and holidays are a killer for me as everyone out and about doing things and I here I sit day and night alone. It has been much worse since my husband died 4 years ago.
Do not see people very often as they always busy doing things with there own familys
I found your reply interesting because I am a Christian too. I find that my beliefs help me sometimes. I am right now am considering joining this new church near me. It's full of people and seems so lively and welcoming but there's a part of me that is just resisting. It comes to a Sunday morning and I can't bring myself to face all these new people. I know it would help me but I can't switch off the part of my brain that keeps saying no. Do you go to a church and do you find it helps you? If you don't, do you think it'd be something that might help you, I often find that doing something and interacting with people does help, it's just the beforehand thought of going that gets to me.

[jerlin09]

The solution to loneliness is to go out and risk rejection. But they are two sides to the same coin. For a while, you sit on your couch and face your fear of rejection. That gives you the impetus to get up and take more risks. Then you come back to your couch and lick your wounds and plan new strategies. It's not pretty; it's life.
Have you ever been so lonely that you hung with the wrong people and regretted it later? Better to stay at home. Don't let anybody tell you to "just get out -- go anywhere." Use that couch time to figure out what places and people you had better avoid. Staying on the couch for a couple of evenings doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't doing anything about your loneliness. Don't let anybody knock your self-concept down; it's a very valuable tool.
1. Constant Vigilance Is In Order
Just getting up off the couch and going out isn't enough. You probably know this already, but when you do go out looking for new friends, you have to cover up your loneliness very thoroughly. If your loneliness is the first thing about you that people spot, they will run. Mask your loneliness with a big smile. A fake smile is OK in this situation; it's certainly better than a lonely frown. (If you are really lonely and you let your guard down for even a second, that default frown will come back.)
2. Find Ways To Help People
When the negative thoughts start to get out of hand, go out and look for somebody to say something cheerful to. Try to forget yourself and brighten somebody else's day. In fact, there may be a volunteer job you could enjoy doing.
3. Change Your Life -- Carefully
Back in 1970 my friend was really lonely. He happened to pick that time to move to Los Angeles (from N.Y. State). This pulled his thinking right out of the rut it was in and completely ended the loneliness. For a while, he saw life as nothing but a big, exciting adventure.
But then the loneliness came back. So he moved to Washington, D.C. This time the loneliness got even worse. Why did the first life-change, but not the second life-change, work? Because the first time he was just looking for adventure; he didn't see moving as a cure for loneliness. The second time he was using the technique of moving to try to run away from the loneliness, and he had no other good reason to move.
You can't run away from yourself. If you try making a big change in your life, have some other reason, a good reason, for doing it besides your loneliness.

[mrk74]

Thanks everyone for your replys and great advice.

love xx

[loveletter]

Hi SG.
I used to go to church quite often when my husband was alive because it was so much more easy for me then as had him to walk with and him to get me out the church if I went dizzy and panicked.
I moved to a new village 2 years ago and have meet a very small group of believers 5 people in all that I do manage to get together with once a month for a prayer meeting.
I have 1 believer that come over every Friday night for bible study.
There is only 2 churches in the village where I live and a few times I have tried to go to but have felt so bad and had the feeling I was going to collapse and allsorts and sitting on my own through a church service was just to much even though someone come to pick me up and drive me home again.

My belief really does help so very much and the Lord gives me the strength to do another day without him I know I would not be here.
I watch revelation tv a lot as feel I am getting some sort of Christian fellowship.
I also talk to quite a few believers on face book and friends reunited this helps me quite a lot have meet some very kind people.
Can you go out the house alone SG could yo get yourself to the church.
Maybe it might be a idea to share with someone in the church you are thinking of going to how you feel there may well be someone there who could support you.

[Nicky32]

I feel I'm wasting my life sitting at home alot of the time and I'd love to get a job and just earn some money but social anxiety defiantly holds you back.

[GAD_GUY]

mrk74 you sound very much, if not identical, to myself. Most of the time I accept my routine and occasionally mundane lifestyle, after all there are people out there who would love even my life (people who are immobile etc) but there is that yearn to do something different/exciting but without friends to share those experiences with, what would be the point.

[Eva May]

I'm starting very much to resent my boyfriend for this reason. I don't have any particularly close friends anymore because they're all getting married and having kids and they won't go out anymore and my boyfriend is the one I rely on for a social life but he sometimes goes away for the weekend with his mates and I'm left alone because I can't go with them. SO FRUSTRATED!!!

[Nicky32]

I'm starting very much to resent my boyfriend for this reason. I don't have any particularly close friends anymore because they're all getting married and having kids and they won't go out anymore and my boyfriend is the one I rely on for a social life but he sometimes goes away for the weekend with his mates and I'm left alone because I can't go with them. SO FRUSTRATED!!!

try getting away with him for the weekend instead of his m8s to a country hotel and have some fun, a caravan park or something near the beach. :-)

[tatt2]

yes this anxiety/panic can really restrict your life and its like your the only one whos suffering with it!! everyone else is getting on with there lives days out, holidays ect but oviously there are lots of us in the same boat, which is sad but reasuring so not one of us is alone anymore! we all have each other to lean on well thats the way i see it if anyone feels lonely or they just want a chin wag feel free to get in touch i dont bite lol:)

[DontPanicMrMannering]

Hi all. I was wondering if anyone else gets really jelous and angry when the weekend arrives and everyone is out and about enjoying themselves. I look out of my window and just watch everyone in this world doing something without me. It really gets to me. I do go out sometimes but because of my anxiety and shyness I just hate it. I just wish I could be like those people I see out having fun. I fear im going to be alone forever in this world.

lol xx

Who ever said that going out is the right thing for you to do? maybe stopping in and inviting some Friends around would suit you better? just because a lot of people head for the town and the pubs at the weekend doesn't mean that this is what you have to do, everyone is different be yourself do what you like to do not what you think you should be doing.

[honeyp1e]

I totally understand where your coming from as am the same but am far from shy !!!!
i do feel the loneliness on week nights but mainly weekends, i do live with my partner and children my partner only goes out once a blue moon with his mates (used to be with me) but since my anxiety hit the roof i just can''t seem to force myself out anymore i do wanna go out but in another way i don't as of all the worry and negative think !! (will i panic / how quickly can i get home etc)
I used to be the one who was always out the main one at the party (the loud one) but no once the evening draws closer & the weekend begin's my depression kicks in even more esp if i have been invited somewhere (party etc..) i just feel 10 times worse i just want to feel normal again & go out and enjoy myself...
i agree with sekost we do need to just get out & face the fear

[keta]

Same here guys, so glad I’m not the only one. I used to go to counseling and my counselor told me there is a difference between feeling lonely and being alone, I still can't tell what the difference is, to me it's the same. Agree with everyone about the weekends they are the worst , most of the people are out and about having fun and I’m sitting home alone trying to find something interesting to watch on TV . The worst thing is I feel like I’d be no good company for anyone these days anyway

[MinnieMouse]

Hi mrk74

Have you found out if any one on here lives near you? Maybe you could find out and meet up at the weekends - for a coffee (or something stronger?!) or trip to the cinema or something? What about hobbies or interests? Is there anything you enjoy or would like to try out? There maybe some courses on locally where it doesn't matter if you go alone and you'd get to meet new people. Also, at this time of the year there are usually a lot of events, shows, festivals etc you could go to. I know it's easier said than done with anxiety but I bet once you have broken the cycle your weekends will become something to look forward to and treasure.

MMx