View Full Version : Future Melanoma Fear....
Hi, I am new here but I wanted to post about my fear.
I'm 29 turning 30 next month and I am obsessed with a fear I will get melanoma as a result of my usage of tanning beds prior.
I haven't tanned at all or even tanned outside in over 2 years but during my college days I tanned pretty heavily and on and off after college until I was about 27. I once got a really bad burn in a bed but no blisters and it was gone within 2 days or so but nonetheless it was a bad burn. I also got burnt pretty badly in Hawaii 2 years ago which caused me to start avoiding tanning at all costs and using sunscreen daily.
Other than that I wasn't in the sun a ton growing up, I don't recall many blistering sunburns but I do have blond hair and blue eyes, although I'm not super pale, I don't burn easily but I can burn. Melanoma doesn't run in my family either. I don't have many moles, probably under 30 or 30 and only 1 that's even noticeable.
I'm assuming I saw something on TV saying I would get cancer from a tanning bed, thus I am convinced this will be true. Even though I should know better as why would they show someone older getting this cancer, it's always someone young and in the prime of their lives...I know this is done by people who mean well, but it can also do harm to those who they are setting out to scare. I know that even a 75% increase in risk is still a small absolute risk but I can't seem to tell that to my thoughts as they keep saying, "what if"
I've had 2 moles removed as a result of this fear which the doctor said were fine but that I couldn't deal with, and one biopsy of a birthmark I have which was also fine.
In other words had I never tanned in tanning beds I would not have this fear, but I did and now I feel doomed.
I still know melanoma is rare and the average person has a lifetime risk of 1-2% BUT I feel like I'm going to be part of that group and I can't stop obsessing over my moles and sitting around waiting for it to occur...
I've recently started Celexa but it's only week one and I will be going to therapy but for now I'm just trying to find an outlet for this fear as it's paralyzing me.
Appreciate any comments...
Funnily enough, this is my fear today.
Melanoma is really rare compared to other skin cancers and I also used sunbeds, and tanned a lot in turkey this year with SPF 15 (not very high). I think you would have noticed any changing moles and things if you check regularly and otherwise, just stay vigilant with checking and using sun cream/block. For now, I am sure you are fine and if you check regularly, you will catch anything untoward early x
Thanks Hopefulmi! Yeah I generally tanned off and on for a few years, I stopped 2 years ago after a pretty bad burn in a bed, it was painful to walk, it's like I'm waiting for that instance to come back to haunt me....on a good note my new found health anxiety has prompted me to quit smoking, BUT I don't know what it is about melanoma that petrifies me, maybe b/c in the US it's portrayed with black ribbons or because they only seem to focus on tanning beds and young people dying....I know they mean well, but the stats are a bit misleading and have caused me great panic for over 2 months...I'd do anything to not worry about this anymore, I've never had anxiety over my health like this...
Anyone ever just felt a disease was inevitable...just waiting around for it?
Hello, look at my posts....... Have the identical fear as you!!! But I am a redhead just to throw another factor into the mix!!! Ha ha, I am not as bad now with thanks to a member on here called "bloxy" she has been great support to me. I was so bad I was scratching at freckles and moles because I just wanted them off my skin!! Since I have had a check at the mole clinic and a dermatologist I am not too bad, just check every 6wks and it really is the kind of thing if caught early it can be cured... The thing with melenoma is not that its uncurable , its the fact people don't check there skin, I think that is the main message is to be aware of change to your moles not that if u get melenoma u are a gonner xxx message me if u need any support xx
Aww bexy, that's so kind of you to say and I'm so glad I was able to help:hugs:
I've also suffered with this fear really badly and I understand how horrible it is when you are fixated on one particular illness and feel that it is inevitable.
The above advice is spot on though...as long as you get to know your skin and check it every so often, then you are going to pick up on any changes and be able to have them taken care of.
Think of checking your skin the same as if you were doing a self breast exam, or going for your routine smear test, it's just one of those common sense things to do. Checking your skin daily or even weekly is unesscessary maybe try monthly to begin with, have someone take pics of all of your moles so you have something to compare them to when doing your checks...this really does help.
I don't have any advice about the meds but give them a chance to kick in and therapy really helped me, so I hope you don't have too long to wait.
Here if you need to talk:hugs:
thank you guys sooo much! I have had a few checked and all was well, I plan on doing the yearly derm. thing once my new medical plan kicks in, for me it's mostly the fear of what if because I did this, I'm destined to get cancer. Other than being stupid and tanning and having blue eyes and blond hair I don't have any other risk factors, but I still can't stopping about the what ifs...or as soon as I'm relaxed another scary commercial comes on...
What's funny is I've smoked cigarettes on and off for years socially and never once felt this way about lung cancer. No worries though this HA episode convinced me to quit that so at least something good is coming from it.
On the good side I am sun safe now and I would never think to smoke again, but my fear is that the damage is done, the lack of control of the unknown...
For me I fear I would miss it or it would be so fast I wouldn't have a chance to react and would be doomed. It seems like stories on the internet this can happen, but I know I know...stay off GOOGLE! I am I swear, now but I have a really good memory :blush:
The therapy will help big time with the 'what ifs' and once they are under control this fear won't have so much of a grip on you.
ugh, just saw another thing on tanning beds and melanoma...except this one said just 10 sessions increases risks...I've tanned WAY more than that, probably at least 75 to 100 times in my life....:(
not going to freak out, not going to freak out
ok, having a slight panic attack. I can't stop thinking about the horrible burn I got 3 years ago from the tanning bed tonight....I didn't blister but my entire body was bright red for 2 days....I'm so afraid this is going to cause me to get skin cancer any day now......not a good day for me....
has anyone tanned alot? I'm looking for reassurance that I am not doomed...where I am from everyone tans all the time...I started sun safety at 28...I'm really hoping it's not too late for me :(
please calm down babe, honestly you are about 1 in 1000000000 people who have used a sunbed , me included!!! and i have red hair and freckles!!! how stupid was i!!!! but its done now i was young and just check my skin and would think if there were anything i would notice the change xxx
I've only used tanning beds once or twice, mainly because I didn't like feeling enclosed...but I have been sun burnt a couple of times, not badly, but enough to get pink/red.
Tanning can increase your risk, but remember, there are people who get this disease who do practice sun safety and have never tanned, there are no guarantees for anyone.
Remember, you can't see into the future, there are no guarantees in life and there is much uncertainty. You could worry about this for the next year but it doesn't mean it's going to happen (you've already mentioned the statistics). You could worry for the next 20 years and it may never happen and what a waste of 20 years that would be.
Just sensibly keep an eye on your skin and anything that may be wrong will be picked very early.
Thanks bloxy!
I totally believe everything you said, at times it's hard to control my thoughts. On the good side I'm aware, but on the bad side the thoughts are always present when more important things like work and my friends and family should be in the front of mind.
My other fear is that you never know if the damage has been done, and that being out of control scares me. I've seen so many stories on this and all the things that make it so scary just replay in my head over and over and over...
The stats are in my favor, 1 in 50 here, in my mind I focus on the 1 and not the other 49 who do not get it.
The other fear is that this disease can strike young, unlike other things I SHOULD have been fearful of but wasn't like lung cancer.
For me this is hard, I've never had this type of anxiety...this intense and uncontrollable...this scary.
I have good hours, but a day hasn't gone by where I haven't woken up and gone to bed thinking of this...so thank you for your support!
No problem hun...all the things you are saying about the thoughts etc are classic health anxiety thought patterns, it's when you can start changing the thoughts and accepting that that is all they are that you will begin to relax about this. CBT really helped me with this, is this the type of therapy you are waiting for?
I believe so, my health insurance should be approved this week so I have a referral for a lady who specializes in anxiety disorders. Shes supposed to be very good. I truly hope this is my first and only bout with this. Nothing with my health has ever scared me before. And eventhough I've had my body checked my my GP I will also make appt with a dermatologist so we can have a game plan moving forward and I can ask all my questions to him or her....it's been a long process getting insurance which isn't helping, going on 6 weeks. The joys of self employment I guess....ugh
I've stressed over money and work but I could always get past that because those situations pass, this one just seems to be ongoing....:blush:
I'm just ready to be my old self where I can enjoy things again :mad:
It must be a nightmare waiting for your insurance to come through, the NHS takes some criticism but we are very fortunate really.
You will feel better and this too will pass, it might just take a bit of time. In the meantime if you need anything or some words of reassurance feel free to get in touch:hugs:
happycamper
25-05-11, 19:49
Hi,
I understand your worries too.
My mum developed malignant melanoma several years ago in her late 5o's, fair and blue eyes, but she was a classic sun worshipper and is still here today. Subsequently I've been plagued with fears of melanoma and the media reports exacerbate it of course.
However, fingers crossed with being on citalopram and having seen a psychologist on several occasions I'm hoping I've a lid on the over the top anxiety. I know my moles well - I think - and any changes, remembering the ABCDE, I feel more confident I'd pick up early. I guess it's important to feel confident in your own body and it's 'stuff' and allow yourself to relax with this ammunition.
thanks happy camper!
I'm also starting medication and counseling so I'm hoping that helps alot. I actually just ordered a book on being able to interpret medical stats in the media...I have a big problem with the way disease is portrayed in the media...I'm in the US and every other commercial deals with disease or medicine for disease or fear campaigns.
Luckily I have very few moles so watching them is easy, I am more concerned something will pop up that I miss, but I know many people who have been far worse in the sun then I and they don't worry, so I guess it's just something I will have to accept and move on....
Also living in Seattle for the past 5 years we don't get much sun, so I can take comfort in that moving forward I can be smart about it...
If it wasn't for the media and the internet my fears would be normal...
I'm sure I will be on here quite a bit until I get through this so I appreciate your support!:yesyes:
@bloxy, yes insurance is kind of a pain....through an employer it's amazing and really good but on your own it's quite the process. The one thing I do love is that I have amazing dr's and there's usually no wait to get in which is helpful especially for overly cautious people like me...Seattle has top notch hospitals as well which gives me comfort :)
Tonight is better, I'm actually wondering why skin cancer scares me SOOO much but nothing else does. Such an odd thing for me...
I've always been prone to anxiety over money or work but nothing unmanageable...why the shift?
Hi! I feel like we are in the exact same boat! Unfortunately I suffered two blistering sunburns before I was 18. At the time I never knew the dangers of sunburns. I was told to wear sunscreen but never really had a w important it is. I knew my sunburns hurt, but I never thought I could get cancer. I was generally in good health--non smoker, active. Well then I started tanning before my HS prom I loved how I looked. I even got a job at a tanning salon. I continued tanning until i turned 29/30. It was like all of a sudden at age 29 I noticed the damage/sunspots and I knew I didn't want to look old and wrinkly. I went to my derm for a recommendation on how to get rid of the age spots and hyper pigmentation. It was when they decided to do a biopsy of a black mole on my chest that I realized I could have cancer. They handed me all the pamphlets on melanoma and told me I was at an increased risk. And that was enough to scare the crap out if me. I don't want to die or live in fear of dying bc I was careless in my youth.vi am now in fear of having my skin cut off and cancerous spots removed or worse... Having a melanoma that spreads to fast.
I have dark hair but green eyes and fair skin that freckles. I now have a loving husband and baby girl. I can't imagine not being here to watch my little girl grow up. I'm terrified too. I just started talking to a therapist so hopefully therapy will help :(
You sound like me a few years ago. I worked in a tanning salon so you can imagine how many I've had. It became a fear of mine because I was post natal and a friends mother got diagnosed. Well I ran with it. I was obsessed. I checked my body 100 times a day, had moles cut out and even made. Dr look at a spot I. My vagina. How embarrassing. I've since gone on medication and I'm so much better but I think I'll always be vigilant. Soon your medication will make you feel better. Mine did. :)
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