View Full Version : i dont really know what to say i just need help!

29-03-04, 14:15
I dont know what to do anymore! i need to let this out!!!! i feel terrible at the moment and i cant see it gettin better anytime soon! i cant do anything, every time i try to do something i panic and cant stay somewhere for long. this is getting me so down. i feel so useless im thinkin of quitting college i just cant go! i used to be on seroxat and i dont really want drugs again..but i went to the doctors the other day and its a 6 months wait for counselling![:0] what should i do? what do you do when u panic when ur out?say in a supermarket!
sorry im jenny by the way!

29-03-04, 14:27
Hi Jenny:)

Dont feel useless man:) I've experienced the NHS 6 month wait thing and they say things like its not serious to be a priority etc:(

Just take small steps at a time, gradually build up. Is college getting to you stress etc?

Is there anywhere you can go which border line makes you feel panicy and take a book or something to read to distract yourself from being away from your "safe" area?

Take it easy matey and post back here as much as you like as long as it helps:)


29-03-04, 15:34
Hi Jenny

Lots of us have different strategies for coping, some of us use distraction, others just try and let the feelings of panic wash over them. Search through old posts and you'll get a lot of tips. If you haven't read it then try reading Self Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes. It is an absolutely brilliant book that explains just what processes your body is going through when you panic and explains to you how to deal with them.

As for the counselling don't give up on it, the NHS waiting lists are horrendous but the sooner you get your name on them the sooner you can get some help. I got myself in a spiral by paying privately for CBT therapy because I felt I couldn't wait. My therapist wasn't very good and so now I'm seeing a second one though not before throwing a lot of money away. I should have just waited for that NHS appointment to come through. I do know have one for counselling though.

CBT is often very good for anxiety and so you could always try and get some books on it and plough on yourself. You don't really need a therapist. I just have one so I've got someone to keep plugging away at me. I tried the books but couldn't discipline myself and more to the point found it hard to believe I had anxiety. I know that Meg (Radar) did it the self taught way and found it very effective

Just remember you're not alone and to keep posting here. We all know how you feel and how pants it can be.


29-03-04, 15:49
hi jenny:D:D:D
dont give in thats the worst thing you can do, your feelings have won then
we all have endless ways of coping.im not on meds im trying to do it the natural way still have bad days but more often than not now i feel great.ive suffered for 7 years but i do feel im getting better and so will you belive me

P.S i have been known to leave a trolly full of shopping at the till and just walk away shopping can wait me being calm cant
keep smiling and dont let the feelings drag you down

the norfolk nutter[:o)]

no one REMEMBER no one has ever died from having a panic attack.ok troops be carefull out there

29-03-04, 18:40
Hiya Jen,

Sorry to hear you are having a rough go at the "panic monster" right now.

Please try not to let this get you to down. I know it is hard and easier said than done, but try, try, and try again.

Just keep reminding yourself that it is panic, and nothing that is going to harm you, but make you very uncomfortable instead.

I think once we accept what is going on and stop "FIGHTING" it, it becomes easier to cope with and put in to perspective.

There is a great page on here you should look at, if you have`nt already. It is the "COPING" page.

You will find loads of coping ideas there. I`m sure you will find something that will help you through as well.

Also please remember you are not alone and there are tons of us who go through what you are going through.

We are all here to help you through your toughest times and support you as well.

Please keep posting to let us know how you are getting on.

Take care,

Diana xxxxx

P.S. I do hope you are feeling a bit better today. :)

29-03-04, 18:58
Dear Jen,

Interesting that you say ' can't stay somewhere for long'

Make an agreemant with yourself that next time this happens somewhere - you will stay there only an extra 5 mins than you think you can possibly stand - leaning on your trolley, slow deep breaths and internal singing help with rescue remedy.

Think of us all having done this at some time or another too.

If you are still intact then - stay another 5 mins .

You will suprise yourself that you are more resilient than you think you are.

Increase this in increments of small steps.

We're with you all the way for this.


Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

30-03-04, 00:14
thank you all so much for replying its great to know ur not alone and you have given me some useful positive tips!:)
I'm going to just keep try and try! Its so hard what we go thro and tryin to explain to others is even harder!
I felt totally at a lose earlier but beginnin to think clearly again.
Thank you again[:I]
Jenny x

30-03-04, 01:01
Hi Jen and welcome,

We've all battled that Panic Monster at sometime or another.

The worst thing you can do is give up.
Mr Panic loves it when you give up, it gives him free reign to be a total pain.

I gave up for almost 6 months. Didn't eat or drink much, wouldn't go to bed, either didn't sleep or just didn't want to wake up, I wouldn't even go in the bath - Man, did I stink or what!.
All I gained from it was self loathing and shame, it played havoc with my hair. I lost 4 stone in weight and wouldn't leave my sofa. - I don't want these things to happen to you.

Here is what I use to help me.

I have a list my husband says I have to read and follow.
On Good days he wants the list followed with bells on it and then some!
On Bad days when I am really ill, the things on my list are the minimum I should do.

It says things like ... Get up, washed and dressed. No Sitting about in my PJ's all day.
Take my Medication
Do a household chore
Go out and get some fresh air, even if it is just a walk to the end of the driveway.
Relax for 1 hour, with some music and practice deep breathing.
Help to plan a meal
Make an effort to get ready for bed, No sleeping on the sofa !

I found the thing that got me through the most, was little steps.
"Today we are going to leave the sofa and walk to the end of the driveway, if that feels okay we will walk 2 houses up and come home." The next day the conversation would be exactly the same, but walk 3 or 4 houses up. Eventually you can make it to the end of the road and back again.

What do I do when I panic, if I'm out?

I take some very slow deep breaths, tell myself these feelings will go away soon and to remain calm. Then I use "my just in case" as I call it. - A small back pack I got from a charity shop, filled with goodies I bought cheeply or found lying around the house.

As well as the usual mobile phone (filled with numbers of people who can help in an emergency), keys, and money.
It contains a "distraction kit."
A small book to read, a small book (which I customised) to draw, write and colour in, a pen with many colours, and a tiny radio with headphones.
And a "panic kit."
Inside my make up bag are things like sticky plasters, valium, stressless, indigestion tablets, decongestant tablets, throat sweets, pain killers, wind ease, tiny mirror, lipstick, cold sore cream, tiny hand cream, a small hair brush, lipsalve and rescue remedy.

So in the event of a panic while I am out of the house, I have a small amount of everything I may need to make me feel well again or to keep me busy in the car - Just incase.
Oh no I've got indigestion, or a blister what I am going to do? - panic!
No panic needed everything is in the bag.
It even has a little "Friend Bear" keyring, so should I need an emergency hug, one is always available.

At home, next to my phone are other lists, giving logical explainations of panic symptoms, reminding me what to do if I start to panic and telling me positive things.

Don't worry, you are not alone.
Please don't give up.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

30-03-04, 01:56

Great post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What great ideas.

I love the list idea. :) How sweet of your hubby to work with you daily on things to do and not do.

I really do need to put an "EMERGENCY" kit together for myself as well.

Thanks for the motivation. :-D

Take care,

Diana xxxx

P.S. Jenny so glad that you are feeling a bit more positive now and so glad that the posts have helped a bit too. :-D

30-03-04, 03:22
Full of bright ideas me - lol

If colouring in is good enough for Johnny Depp it is good enough for me.
At least drawing little pictures in a small book kept me out of mischief for a few hours.

You know Steve and his "Daily Punishment" - he likes to make sure I don't forget to get well.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

30-03-04, 17:37

You are soooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D

I agree with the coloring and drawing.

Hey whatever gets the job done ey? :)

Good on Steve for being such a support system for you.

You have really come along way Liz. I am so happy for you. :-D

I`m getting right on with my "EMERGENCY" kit. LOL............ :D

Take care dear,

Diana xoxoxo

30-03-04, 18:02
I cant beleive there are so many of you with the same feeings and nightmares as me.I thought I was going mad! I have been struggling with panic since last October and have been off work for much of that time. I work a long way from home and worry constantly about having an attack whilst drivng. I think a job nearer home might be a good idea but I have worked for the same company for 18 1/2 years and its a big step. Any advice??

30-03-04, 19:50
Welcoe Sue,

Have a good search through the home pages and 'first steps' and figure out which bits pertain to you - then join us on the sometimes narrow and windy path to recovery .


"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

- Guillaume Apollinaire

30-03-04, 19:54
Liz thank you for the great ideas and well done for what you have achieved!u should be really proud!:) feeling better today went for a drive in the country just to think, cleaned my room and went for a bike ride!
To sue sorry i dont have any advice on the work situation
Take care
Jenny x

31-03-04, 09:54
Sounds like someone else is making good progress too ... [8D]
"went for a drive in the country just to think, cleaned my room and went for a bike ride!"

Not sure if it is me making the recovery or the sertraline making me walk around like this. :D

I did try and impress Steve with some of my "Northern Humour" [:o)]
"Oh god she's feeling better, she's telling jokes again - groan!"
"But my jokes are funny!" :(
"Yes dear, the first time you hear them .."

That's the last time I practice my stand up routeen on him - Charming!

Sue, does the company you work for have other branches?
If they do, you might consider asking them for a transfer, something a little bit closer to home.
Or ask if there is a chance you can work from home, sending information back and forward through the internet.

Of course there is the other alternative, prepare your emergency kit, take the bull by the horns and drive to work.
Study a map of the area you have to drive, and make notes of places that are safe to stop at. Change the route you drive, if you need to, include less busy roads, so there are places to pull over if you need to.
If you can't stop the worry of the panic, then change your environment a little bit to make yourself feel safer.

For example.
Every day I travel on the M62 between Oldham and Leeds.
M62, busy motorway, only the hard shoulder in an emergency.
But if I take the A62 instead, then at least it if I need to pull over there is bound to be a town, village or a side street near by.

It may at time to your journey, but at least you will be able to pull over safely if you need to, and once you get your confidence back, then try something a bit more adventurous.

Good Luck - oh and welcome !

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

31-03-04, 17:45
Thanks for the advice. There are no local branches of my particular company unfortunately.

I know I really should just take the "bull by the horns" and do it but right now I dont think I can.

I have tried many different routes. Motorways are definately out for me, especially the M25 and M1 which are the ones need to use. I found a route using back roads. Its not too bad most of the way. There are some single track lanes and it takes for ever. What ever way I go I worry the whole time I am in the car. Its horrible and I wish I could be different.

I am sure my colleagues must think I am mad and I know they dont understand and I do feel really guilty about not being there, not to mention embarrassed.

I have started to make short (very short!) trips out and I am going to try and build them up over time.


31-03-04, 22:04
Short trips sound like an excellent idea, to build up your confidence.

I'm one of those people who can't drive.
We had not long had the new car when the panic started.
I didn't go in the car for months and months. I was just too scared.
I used to stand on the driveway and scream [:I]
Steve used to have to take me back in doors where I would just curl up into a ball.

At the time he didn't really understand and he used to get angry and embrassed by the way I behaved.
He thought about selling the car, even though I had only been in it 5 times, thinking it was the car that was causing the problems.

First he got me to sit in the car.
Then he got me to clean out the car, so I was in it a little longer.
Then he got me to sit in the car while he drove off the drive.
And we took it from there. I can manage for an hour or so with no problems.
I still get jittery and have to close my eyes if cars are passing too close, or look like they are going to hit us or each other.
But I am getting braver.

Keep at it sue, you will get there.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

01-04-04, 17:53
Thanks for that.

This site has so far proved more useful to me than any of the (many!) medics I have seen.


01-04-04, 22:33
Welcome aboard Sue. :)

So glad you found this site. As you can see already you will get loads of advice and support here.

We have all struggled and been where you are right now, and some of us still struggling your struggles now.

So you are not alone. ;)

Short trips will definitely be the beginning of the recovery process for you.

Liz has given loads of good advice here as she usually does. :)

I wish you all the luck.

Keep us posted as to how you are getting on with things.

Remember little steps!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take care,

Diana xxxx

01-04-04, 22:45

Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

On taking a drive through the country, cleaning your room and taking a bike ride. :)

All good progress. :-D

Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.


I just wanted to say that you have no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed that you can not be at work with your disorder right now.

The good news is that you will get better, and you will return to work. Rather it is that place or another.

I wish you all the luck. :)


LOL................... :-D

I`ll bet the stand up routine was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would have really appreciated it. :)

Take care all,

Diana xxxxx

04-04-04, 23:06
hi hope everyone is feeling ok
just a little update... feelin better made two appointments one to get my nails done and the other for a haircut to pamper myself! went into college on friday and felt ok not great but not totally awful!i hav two weeks holidays now to chill
have been reading a few self-help books!
thanks to everyone for their advice, this website is soooo amazing doctors should give the address out to suffers!
Lots of Love
Jenny x

05-04-04, 03:37
Good for you Jen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

I know the self pampering will make you feel a bit more positive and a bit more confident.

Let us know how you get on with the self help books.

I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. :-D

You are doing all the right things, keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!

Have fun and get yourself rested up over your holiday time.

Keep us updated on your progress.

Take care,

Love Diana xoxoxo

05-04-04, 14:03

Welcome to the site. Glad to see that you are getting lots of help here.

My biggest problem was driving (wow I said "was", I must be getting better)!

I have a long drive to work now - from 45 mins to an hour and it can be a pain when I get stuck on the A1.

I used to be terrified of traffic jams, single lanes, contra-flows etc etc.

The only way to get over it is to keep doing it. It has taken me a long long time (over 10 years) But I am almost there. Just need to try the M25 now - aggghhh.

Go out when the traffic is lighter and just take small steps.

There was one part of the A1 that caused me panic everytime so I just kept driving up and down it till it felt better. When I tried it again a few weeks later, it was just as bad so I went out again that weekend and tried it over and over.

Gradually you will convince yourself that no harm will come to you.

Take a look at the coping techniques I use whilst driving - www.nomorepanic.co.uk/coping.htm (look under the Distraction part)

You can do it again, I am proof of that. I know it is so very hard but you will get there in time ok?

Good luck.


05-04-04, 14:17
quote:Originally posted by stimpy

It even has a little "Friend Bear" keyring, so should I need an emergency hug, one is always available.

Liz - wow you must have a big handbag [:p]

When I went to spend an evening with the charity called "H.O.P.E" they gave me two "bugs". You know the furry things that you stick on your PC monitor cos you dont know what else to do with them. They told me that they would protect me (sounds silly I know). I had one for my handbag and one is in the car with me. The one in the handbag is looking a bit grotty now but he still comes everywhere with me and the one in the car is to protect me when I am driving.

A kind of security blanket thing I guess. [?]


05-04-04, 14:19

Are you feeling any better now - I do hope so. I agree that this sort of site is much more beneficial to sufferers than any doctor can be.

Perhaps I ought to get some flyers done - lol - and hand them out to people looking stressed!


05-04-04, 17:40

Good idea Nic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This site is so much more dependable I think rather than the docs opinions or thoughts on what to do or not do with anxiety/panic. Especially if they are`nt sufferers themselves.

I know I feel alot more confident in taking advice or suggestions from you all than any ol doc, because I know you all go through what I go through so what you all say works for you may just work for me. :)

The flyers are still a good idea Nic.............. :-D

Take care all,

Diana xxxx

05-04-04, 21:32

I have thought about doing a leaflet for a while and dropping a few off at the doc's surgery.

At the end of the day, I am not making money out of this so it is not as though I am trying to sell anything so I am sure people wouldn't object.

Now who are the graphic designers on the site that can do me a flyer for the site. We need a cool logo too !


05-04-04, 21:51
I dropped off a few at the C**p photo show on panic that I went down to London to see.
It crossed my mind moments before I left. I'll send you it . Had totally forgotton about it till now.

Talk about disappointed but then went to see the 'World from the Air' exhibition outside the Natural History Museum which is magnificent.

06-04-04, 18:03

I can`t wait to see one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Sorry not much of a graphic designer, but love the idea of the leaflet.

I am positive no one would object.

Once your leaflet reaches them I am sure if they are suffering from this disorder it would be a great welcome to them.

Let us know how you get on with that project.

If I can be of any help at all just let me know. :)

Good Luck. :-D

Take care,

Diana xoxoxo