247worried
25-05-11, 12:27
Hi everyone, nice to have found a site where people get along well :)
Bit about me, im 25, a carer for my disabled mum and self employed aswell. I have a partner and weve been together for 4 years this year.
Ive always been a worrier, i remember when i was younger i used to worry about my dad going into the kitchen, because my mum was disabled she couldnt clean so the kitchen was always a mess, so if he went in about once a year/2years he would go nuts, scream and shout and occasionally got violent. Then when i got older my mum had a real bad patch, her doctor got her addicted to all sorts of drug's, she got in trouble with paying bills and we were on the verge of being evicted, my dad went ape. Fast forward to past few years my mum and dad have now split up, she left him because she had to take loans out because he used to take all her money off her as he said he couldnt trust her because of the past, i was off work as i couldnt hold a job down, i know thats my fault, i shouldnt let things of got to me and affected me like that but in hindsight a lot of things come out. So the mother left my dad and went to the police, who basically said nothing to do with us (in my mind im always worried she/me will get arrested).
About 6 months before they split up i split up with my then long term partner,even now i wont go to my local shops incase i bump into her or her family, i know they wouldnt do anything i just dont want to have to explain why i was such a idiot! I wasn't faithful at all (Im not proud of it neither).
Present day i spend most of my free time worrying im going to get arrested or mum will get arrested, if it's not that then it's im ill or mums ill, 2 years ago i spent the whole summer worrying that she had a brain tumour as she had headaches for months on end.
My partner's good, she wants to listen but when i speak she shrug's her shoulder's and says nowt i/you can do so stop worrying, which is easy to say but not so easy to do.
I was on anti depressant's for 3 or so year's until the doc's took me off them and refused to give them me back.
Ive done a telephone course regarding changing the way i think which was great, when i was doing it it went well but when i stopped i just went back to square one.
I dont really have panic attack's, i just sit and worry constantly, there's no logic to it sometimes and everything is always the worst outcome if you get me.
Even now im looking out waiting for the postman, every day i worry what he will bring (we still have a few money problems that im trying to sort).
I know you probably think what my mum did wrong which it was , there was reasoning behind it and she wants to pay the money back from the past.
Sorry for the huge essay, the past few week's have been some of the worst in my mind, but all i keep saying is "Im alive".
Hope you dont think im too much of a weirdo, lol, speak to you all soon.
Bit about me, im 25, a carer for my disabled mum and self employed aswell. I have a partner and weve been together for 4 years this year.
Ive always been a worrier, i remember when i was younger i used to worry about my dad going into the kitchen, because my mum was disabled she couldnt clean so the kitchen was always a mess, so if he went in about once a year/2years he would go nuts, scream and shout and occasionally got violent. Then when i got older my mum had a real bad patch, her doctor got her addicted to all sorts of drug's, she got in trouble with paying bills and we were on the verge of being evicted, my dad went ape. Fast forward to past few years my mum and dad have now split up, she left him because she had to take loans out because he used to take all her money off her as he said he couldnt trust her because of the past, i was off work as i couldnt hold a job down, i know thats my fault, i shouldnt let things of got to me and affected me like that but in hindsight a lot of things come out. So the mother left my dad and went to the police, who basically said nothing to do with us (in my mind im always worried she/me will get arrested).
About 6 months before they split up i split up with my then long term partner,even now i wont go to my local shops incase i bump into her or her family, i know they wouldnt do anything i just dont want to have to explain why i was such a idiot! I wasn't faithful at all (Im not proud of it neither).
Present day i spend most of my free time worrying im going to get arrested or mum will get arrested, if it's not that then it's im ill or mums ill, 2 years ago i spent the whole summer worrying that she had a brain tumour as she had headaches for months on end.
My partner's good, she wants to listen but when i speak she shrug's her shoulder's and says nowt i/you can do so stop worrying, which is easy to say but not so easy to do.
I was on anti depressant's for 3 or so year's until the doc's took me off them and refused to give them me back.
Ive done a telephone course regarding changing the way i think which was great, when i was doing it it went well but when i stopped i just went back to square one.
I dont really have panic attack's, i just sit and worry constantly, there's no logic to it sometimes and everything is always the worst outcome if you get me.
Even now im looking out waiting for the postman, every day i worry what he will bring (we still have a few money problems that im trying to sort).
I know you probably think what my mum did wrong which it was , there was reasoning behind it and she wants to pay the money back from the past.
Sorry for the huge essay, the past few week's have been some of the worst in my mind, but all i keep saying is "Im alive".
Hope you dont think im too much of a weirdo, lol, speak to you all soon.