when will it all end?...

[sun-shine]

I knew it was all to good to be true. Had a OK day yesterday, better then I have had in a number of weeks. Was able to actual eat something without being scared and was able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour.

Today however has had me back at square one. I'm sitting here now convincing myself I'm really ill and on the verge of dying any second?.... I've actually felt dizzy and my legs\arms like jelly all day, and its this "throat" thing is really freak me out?? I'm sitting here now and it feels like there's hairs going down the back of my throat?..

Iv been on the verge of a panic attack for most of the day with pressure on my chest and hot\cold flushes, and I'm shaky too?... But I think the new medication off the doctor is stifling a full blow panic attack?... My head feels like its on a ship?

I just want to feel normal again, screw being happy, normal with do... :( x

[KayleighJane]

hello :)

sorry to hear you were having a bad day, i get exactly the same feelings/thoughts as you do and its terrifying i know.

hope your feeling better today :)

kayleigh x

[sun-shine]

hi, thanks for your message kayleigh.

i haven't been too good at all (here goes the brain spill?) feels like im back to square one and im so scared of it all :( ... i had a major panic attack last-nite, the worst i have ever had. my whole body was shaking and from top-2-toe i was pins and needles, my mouth went numb and i couldnt speak. my body seemed to spasm?, i was trying to calm myself down but kept thinking bad things all the way through it which added fuel to the fire.... my chest was soo heavy and i just felt horrific!... in the end i think my body just had enough and the hard-shaking stopped, i was up all night fearing my life and gaspin for breath :-S

i'v felt weak and dizzy all day today, not being able to settle always on edge? sitting here now and my hands are shaking and i have a "cool breeze" like feeling and a "lead-taste" that comes and goes at the back of my throat and in my mouth? my head feels like its too heavy also?... i'm putting it down to the shock of the panic attack last-nite and my body getting used to the medication... but who knows? i just cant stop thinking nor can i relax, maybe there is something seriously wrong with me, as i have never as bad?

i know what everone will be thinking: "you should be used to this by now and these symptoms are normal etc etc" ... but i dont think i ever will? i do apologise for this post, i just think that by logging in and letting your thoughts spill on-to the page eases your anxiety a small amount?

i know you all understand :weep:

X

[KayleighJane]

I really do know how you feel, I have had all the same symptoms as you and i know how terrifying it can be and how scared you are feeling at the moment. I know that its also hard to believe its just a panic attack because of the severity of the symptoms and unfortunately I am still having trouble believing this myself so can't offer lots of advice but am around if you want to chat anytime x

[sun-shine]

your so sweet kayleigh... your posts always make me smile, and you know i'm always here too if ever you need to chat :)

everytime i re-read my posts i always feel so selfish, i think anxiety does that too you though? you become obsessed in yourself, analysing every second how your feeling? what mood your in? what symptoms you have? you seem to forget too live?!... its CRAZY!

yesterday i spent a small fortune on herbal vitamins, loads of fruit/veg and essential oils and herbal teas!... a lot of it is mind over matter i think!

Take-care, & thanks again for listening...

X

[KayleighJane]

i was talking to someone the other day and they said that anxiety is a selfish illness, i agreed with that because like you said we seem to spend all day thinking about how we feel and stuff and everything/everyone else seems to go out the window which i hate because i think im a caring person. But at the end of the day it can't be helped at the moment, thats the way I look at it, its not like your doing it on purpose and its just the fact that how you feel is on your mind at present. won't be forever, well at least I hope not!


I think a lot of it is mind over matter, i'm doing CBT at the moment and thats what its teaching me to do, replace the negative thoughts with positive, its hard though and not easy at all but you just have to plod along with these things.

hope your having a good day

Kayleigh x