View Full Version : Help - Breakdown
How bad do you have to get before you seriously consider you are having a breakdown?
Tonigt I really feel like I have had enough... I went to bed at 11.30 and dozed off after struggling all afternoon and evening with my stomach problems which are at least partly physical...
Slept for about an hour and woke up with terribly tummy pains and shaking all over and have really lost it and had enough. I just don't feel I can cope any more and need more help.
I have been tempted to get the paramedics out. I feel absolutely desperate. I am nauseous and shaking so much and so very afraid... I don't know how much more I can do than I have been doing, relaxation exercises, cbt, back and forth to doctor. I seem to improve but just get thrown back in here...
I am so so so frightened and desperate tonight. The shaking won't stop no matter how much positive thinking, trying to calm myself I do - it just feels totally physical.
All my friends and family are desperate to help but exhausted with trying tosupport me, no-one knows what else to do.
I feel like I should be in hospital and go for a full on breakdown and just let go of all of it... but there are so many people that that would be awful for... my son, my mum who all need me.
I just don't know where or how this is all going to end.
Sorry to post so negatively.
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
<center>(((FEE)))</center>
This is so how I have been feeling for the past couple of weeks - really at the end of my tether and not knowing where to go next. I know I have the clinic but apart from Julia, no on really listens.
We may have different issues and hospital is the last place I would go but I've had the same feelings of being at breakdown point and not having a clue what to do about it.
From an outsider's point of view I can see why you feel so overwhelmed and you have physical and emotional reasons for this. None of this is going to be a quick fix but remember that things always feel worse in the middle of the night.
Your friends and family would and do want to help. Perhaps we could go back to holding hands again to help each other through the bad times we are both experiencing. You have my mobile number and email, so contact me if you are ever feeling that bad. My mobile is often on silent due to being at the clinic or sleeping odd times but I will get back to you.
We are all willing you on and hoping our support can help in some way. If there was one special person with you now what would they be saying to you? Of if you were listening to that person talking about the way you are feeling now, what would you say to that person?
You can come through this Fee.
HUGS Aunty Fee.
Karen xx
FEE
AAARRRhhh mate im so sorry that you are feeling this way, you poor thing ..you had been doing so well.. and yet from seeing your posts..this was gradually building up darling.
I know you feel like you are having a breakdown because you are feeling desparate.. and this is why.. i feel like this many times love, i know you must be so tired and weak of the fight to be ok, i too know that one babe.. as yes i too just feel like chucking myself in and saying.. man just take me..i dont care..but somehow our natural defences make us carry on..and fee you know you will darling.
I 2 like many have kids and thank god for them huh, because they make us carry on weather we like it or not, bless em.
Fee love you have done it before , and i know you have had enuff, but you can do it again, with the surport of us guys.
My family i love them to death , but they havnt got a clue where i am at, they really havnt, this forum and my friends i have made here, are really the only surport that i have, and this site is my own source of release, thank god for that huh.
We are here for ya love.. so if ya ever wanna lean on me ..do so please..
Sorry your so scared babe... i hate that feeling.. remember though fee that nothink is going to happen to you, that this is anxiety.. keep telling yourself..
ashley [^]
You know the funny thing is if you tried to go ahead and have a full on breakdown it wouldn't happen!!!
The mental and physical aspect of relinquishing yourself to it would actually mean that you would have to let go of the tight control you have over yourself at the moment, that in itself would release the tension and probably make you feel a lot better - contrary huh!!!
I know in one of the books (think it's Claire Weekes) that it says not to try so hard to relax or get 'better' as it's this very trying that means you aren't relaxing, you are striving. Striving can be very hard!!!:(
Let go of all the balls you are trying to juggle mate - we don't get a Blue Peter badge at the end for being superhuman.
I think I would go back to basics a bit and live only in the moment you are in (good book by Shannon Duncan on this sometime) only deal with what that day has to offer and don't look on ahead at all. This is the way most children view the world and it works for them!!:D:D
Lots of love and a rather large squeeze:)
Love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi Fee, I think what I would say has already been said, just want you to know am thinkoing of you, you have so much on at the moment life is difficult, hope you feel better soon, xxxx
I managed to doze off for an hour or so and have woken feeling exactly the same and just can't believe it's anxiety. I really feel like something is wrong with me...
I'm shaking so much, so sweaty and my stomach feels so bad....
I've called the doc and he's supposed to be ringing back...
I just cannot believe this isn't physical.
Thank you all so much and if it is all anxiety I will be a comfort to others to know it can be this bad physically..
thanks everyone xxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Hi Fee,
I just read your post and wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and I hope that you feel better soon.
Take care of yourself.
xxx
nomorepanic
21-04-06, 10:33
Fee
Just remember that not everything is anxiety. You could be coming down with something viral for example so a good idea to get it checked out for sure.
Hope you feel better later
Nicola
Hay fee-yes get yaself checked out first ..thats all the best idea.. if anything it will put ya mind at ease sweet.
Let us know how you are, we here for ya when ever
ashley x
Hi Fee
Has the doctor called back yet?
It is true that there are a lot of viruses around at present and this could be a physical illness that is pulling you down.
Thinking of you
Karen xx
Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey
Hi Fee,
I hope you're feeling better now. I replied to your other post but then realised you had posted here too.
I hope the doc has got back to you now and that all is ok. What you describe really can be anxiety but it's also true it could be a virus, just having a temperature or virus can make you shake. When I was vomiting I was shaking like a leaf and couldn't stop shaking.
Thinking of you mate, hope you feel better soon.
Love and hugs,
Lisa x
How's it going, Fee?
I've been in a similar emotional place in the past..and my therapist reminded me that a breakdown can lead to a break through with the right help....and she was/is right...
take good care of you.
Thank you all so so much...
I have been to the doctor... of course my tummy is nothing like as bad, although not right. I have returned with anti-depressants (I'll have to deal with that later), diazepam and anti-spasmodics.
He talked to me for a long time and examined me and is sure it is all IBS and the duodenitis/hiatus hernia and will settle if I can get calm. He has been trying to get me to take anti-depressants for the longest time and must be so frustrated that I won't try them because there really isn't much else he can do... he gave me the diazapam in case I totally panic when I take them... What a nightmare - I have enough trouble taking an aspirin or anti-histamine. I have the lowest dose of everything and can't even open the bag of drugs at the moment. Have been crying loads since I spoke to him which is probably what I need more than anything else.
I guess, underneath it all, I am depressed although I constantly deny it. I am such a fighter, so determined to be positive but my situation and all that has been happening is overwhelming and I am going under and really ought to try medication which has helped so many other people. It's so hard when you know you are so sensitive to drugs... And it will be a question of sitting here waiting for the bad reactions...
I have been trying so hard to take care of myself, going off sick, cbt, walking gently, doing nice things, keeping my journal, doing relaxation and breathing exercises - and I spend days and days where I think I'm doing ok and then bang - a physical symptom sends me into a total spiral...
I'm so tired of it and just plain tired out. I need to be taken away for a couple of weeks and forced to rest and only do nice things - I reckon that's the only thing that would really work!
Thank you all for being here for me.
Onwards and upwards xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
((((((Fee)))))))
Sounds like a rest would not be a bad idea....
Well done for going to the dr..when I started to take anti-depressants, I was scared too..and yes there were start up side effects, but they did pass, and on my 2nd med there have been no side effects at all...
Take good care of you.
Hi Fee,
Glad you went to the docs and had a good chat Fee. I hope you feel better for that.
I totally understand about the antidepressants, good luck if you do decide to take them. I was offered them once and refused but that was for anxiety as I've never been depressed. I took amitryptline a few years ago (before getting ME), but I took a low dose for headaches not the dose recommended for depression. That drug is often prescribed for ME as it helps anxiety, pain, depression, sleep. I had no side effects on it, but that was pre ME. Anyway whatever you decide good luck with it all.
I think you have so much going on right now that it is bound to come out and affect you somehow, I do hope you start to feel better soon.
Just a thought, but do you think you've been worse since you've been off work. I know you probably don't feel able to work but I mean anxiety wise have you been worse? It seems you and I have both been worse since being off work for a while, I know we may have no choice and it may be a coincidence, but my doctor is always noting that I am much less anxious when I work regularly and it is true. So work 24 hours a day for me now then... Lol.
Thinking of you Fee, big hugs,
Lisa x
Glad you saw the doctor mate and I hope you begin to feel better very very soon.
Love Piglet xxx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Thanks...
I still feel dreadful, been at my friend's all day but home alone now. I took an antidepressant about 12.30 (escitalopram) and have not felt anything terrible, but tonight will be the test...
I'm so hot and keep going red (not the tablets - was happening before).
I feel really really frightened - I know they can cause more anxiety at the beginning - how am I supposed to cope with that? can there be any more anxiety than I've been having? Actually - good point, maybe not!!!
I have also taken a colofac (how brave am I) and my omeprazole... jeez I'm going to spontaneously combust....
I feel very out of it but then I am absolutely exhausted.... Of course the weekend is the worst time to do all this but I just know that if I don't try and get sorted the next few months are going to be intolerable.
Help!!!
thanks for all your support everyone xxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
honeybee3939
21-04-06, 18:13
Hi fee
So sorry to hear you are not feeling well, i am glad to hear though that you have started your medication, i hate taking medication also and was nearly at rock bottom (i have been there before) a few weeks ago because i just couldnt bring myself to start taking them again, but after a long talk with the Dr he changed my mind and i started taking them, i am glad i did as i am feeling much better now, sometimes we need a little help from the medication to get us back on track again my friend.
I hope you are feeling better soon!
A big hug to you !!
Andrea
xxx
Thanks Andrea - this is the first time I've taken anything like this and I am so scared of bad side effects...
Hope you are ok now too!
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Hi Fee,
Well done for taking the tablets you brave thing! I hope they help you.
I'm glad you've had a friend with you today and I hope you can have a relaxing evening and a better night tonight.
Love and hugs,
Lisa x
Thanks lisa - scary but I have to try and sort myself out! I just can't keep asking for help but refusing to take advice.... and wearing all my friends out at the same time, I just started to feel like I was being selfish.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Hi Fee,
I think you made a very brave decision today and I really hope the tablets help you. They can help some people alot althought it's a very personal decision whether to take them or not and it depends on the circumstances. For me the answer is no for anxiety but I may if I was also depressed who knows, thankfully my gp has never once said it as she knows I can't tolerate the simplest meds but I have been close to wanting them twice. I think along with your CBT you will soon be feeling much better. You have alot to deal with right now and in the coming months with sarah, there's nothing wrong with needing a helping hand sometimes. But one thing you are NOT ever selfish.
Have a good evening,
Lisa x
Hi Lisa
These new SSRIs are particularly good for anxiety and panic fortunately because although I have felt very sad over the last few months I definitely do not suffer with depression on any conscious level, but being ill is, at the end of the day pretty depressing. It has been offered to me so many times for ME as well and I personaly know 2 people I know whose ME was dramatically improved by mild dose tricyclicates. So in the end it has seemed like the sensible rational thing to do - although I may not be saying that later!!!
I think if so many things weren't going on there is no way I would consider them but it just has to be tried....
I do feel very strange tonight but then I knew I would - how would I ever know what was anxiety and what tablets lol!!!
thanks for all your support hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Hi Fee,
You're right SSRI's are now supposed to be quite good for anxiety and I really hope taking this helps you and it does make sense for you if it helps you cope with so much going on.
Mild dose tricyclics are very often prescribed for ME you're right there too. I was offered amitriptyline once but turned it down. I had been on it for headaches in the past and knew it didn't help me with pain or anxiety, but it does help many people but we're all different. This one seems to be the most commonly prescribed for ME patients as it can help pain, mood, anxiety, sleep and many other things and seems to be well tolerated generally. It's very commonly used for headaches now at low doses but never helped mine.
I hope you get some positive replies to your medication thread, there must be plenty of success stories out there.
Anyway I hope you're feeling ok, I can understand you feeling strange but I doubt you will have had any side effect from one dose, it has to get into your system properly first and you may be lucky and not get any effects. You are being really brave and taking steps forward. You WILL beat this.
Night mate, sleep well, really hope you have a better night.
Lisa x
feege i too feel this bad today. i feel sick and shaky. my chest hurst and i feel sweating. i too have had enuf but am holding on to life because of my kids. i want to live so much but i too feel as if im holding on by a thread.
the symptoms all feel new to me and i fear them so much
you are not alone and i know you know that
there is a light at the end of your dark tunnel and i know it doesnt feel like it at the moment, but some day the cloud will lift
it better feege for im counting on it
jackie
Thanks Lisa
Funny isn't it I feel really really calm and better than I have all week.... I am SO obtuse. Mind you I am completely exhausted!
I'm having second thouhts about the a-ds now - but not cos I'm scared (seriously, honestly lol) but because I feel so muh better since I've taken the Losec and am wondering how I will know what's making me feel better if I start them both at the same time.... I feel like it is my tummy that has been causing all the problems really...[Sigh...] I'll think about it in the morning when I know what sort of night I've had!
I am going to try and go to bed soon.... fingers crossed [:o)]
love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Thanks jackie
We posted at the same time! sorry you are feeling so bad too... but look how much of a yo-yo I am - I'm feeling ok at the moment! It's a roller coaster alright but at least there are some times when things feel ok! Good luck to you and thanks for your support - hope not to be posting like that again tonight!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Hi Fee,
Glad you feel ok and calm tonight.
Good luck with whatever you decide with the ad's. It may make sense to see if your anxiety is tied up with your tummy problems, if you feel you mainly get anxious because your tummy plays up. It depends what triggers you I guess, whether it's specific symptoms like the tummy or stress in general. As you say, see how you feel in the morning and then just do what feels right for you.
Night mate, sleep well.
Lisa x
Hi Fee
Just wanted to say I think you've been very brave to take the decision to give the antidepressants a go. They could well be very beneficial for you and give you the boost you need to get through this difficult time.
It does usually take a little while for your body to adjust and I presume that's why you were prescribed the Diazepam to help with any added anxiety while you settle on the meds.
Glad to hear your tummy is a bit better and well done for taking the medication for this too.
You are coping much better than you think you are.
Hope you are able to sleep tonight.
Karen xx
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