Don't know what to do

[nicola1987]

Hi:)

What triggered my anxiety problems was working in a call centre with a horrible boss and little training, teamed with not being able to cope with angry customers on the phone. I couldn't face going in, I would wake up in the night worrying and crying, get up in the morning and cry all the way till I left, leave work and feel relief that it was over and as the evening went on i'd get anxious and upset about going in the next day. I eventually left when I had a panic attack before going in one morning and realised I needed to get some professional help.

I went to counselling and started taking citalopram and propranolol by advice of the doctors and felt much better as the months went by and found that I could deal with my problems better.

I started working part-time at a university coffee shop and have worked fine there with only a few dips for the past 8 months. Now that the university has closed for the summer I have just started a new job.

This is where all the anxiety and emotions of the call centre job have come back. The crying in the mornings and evenings has returned and I generally just feel as though I cannot cope. I went to the doctors this morning and I have been referred back to counselling and discussed what my trigger motive might be. We think it is probably situational and that working full time might be issues.

Now I have been signed off work for a week I don't know what to do, I feel like I know inside that this is not the right thing for me but that I don't want to not work because I do enjoy it and I know that right now it is not going to be that easy to get another job even if it is only part time.

I'm also terrified that if I leave this job and look for something else that is quieter and part time hours, there is nothing to say it won't happen again and I'll go round in circles forever.

Advice is appreciated :)

Thankyou for reading

Nicola

[notfeelingconfident]

Hi, If I say 'keep at it, things will get better and you'll get stronger' (which is what many people will probably say) then I am concerned that it might not, because certain work environments just might not be suitable for you (for whatever reason).

Society says we should do this and work these hours and be STRONG, but personally I say screw what society thinks and create a working life that is healthier for your own mind! :yesyes:

Other that me saying, try different alternative therapies alongside your medication to feel stronger during work hours, I think you should look at the type of jobs you seem to be taking and realistically ask yourself in the long-run 'will I ever be at peace with this type of job'?:)

But saying all that, I can not feel right even when alone and in a peaceful easy job sometimes so avoidance isn't always the answer. It may be that you need to start regularly meditating or using self-hypnosis before you go to work?

Hope I haven't chatted too much crap!:)

[Tyke]

Hi Nicola

Is there any chance of going back to the university coffee shop after the summer? If you could stick this job out until then, would that be something worth aiming for? You did seem more settled in that one.

It is hard finding suitable employment when you suffer from anxiety in the workplace. I have had jobs where I have been on the receiving end of unpleasantness from disgruntled and angry customers. You didn't say what your new job involved, but it should help if you could pinpoint exactly what it is that stresses you out. Are the customers sometimes unpleasant? Are you unsure of your duties? Are colleagues unfriendly? You can probably find something that suits your personality, but you need to work on what you have liked and disliked about these jobs to give you some ideas. We are all at the mercy of the economy, so sadly vacancies are very limited at the moment, but things will hopefully pick up again at some point.

Tyke

[notfeelingconfident]

Tyke makes a good point. It is important that you try and go deep into yourself to try and understand more about what exactly triggers you off (especially if it is not completely obvious).

This can be attempted through numerous methods, some of which you can read about here.

Good luck on your journey and people here will help you with advice whenever possible.