Skin'eadWesty
02-06-11, 03:48
I feel like everythings slipping away from me quicker than I can comprehend. I've been worrying myself sick over the possibilty of an arrythmia, and I'm yet to take the form to the cardio dept to get my holter moniter booked. That alone is frightening, as I've explained in my previous post, but yesterday it seems like the s#!% hit the fan when my girlfriend told me she didnt see us going anywhere anymore, my anxiety has spread to my social environment, feel like I can't be intimate, I want to be, but somethings holding me back, constant worries about doing the wrong things or being overbearing, and she knows about my heart worries, she's always been understanding but I just dont think she can take me anymore. It's depressing, and seeing her on friday will be the final answer to it, on the one hand we might survive, and I'll have her support though my struggle still, I'll work really hard on my intimacy, but on the other hand I might be left in my fight alone, even more anxious over what I've lost and having to see her in my life still. My health anxiety has finally hit me in the one place I hoped it wouldnt have a bearing. My relationships with people are suffering through my all consuming anxiety, relationships I rely on to give me will to recover. It's all getting too much