So scared to be alone :(

[venusbluejeans]

This may sound really stupid for a 33 year old but I can not cope without my mum....

I get so anxious and scared without her and really can not cope with the feelings in my head that it causes. The depersonalisation it causes is so scary and my head panics because of it.

Whatever I try to do to stop it, whatever I tell my head it just does not want to listen..

[faded_innocence]

I know how you feel, no matter where I am or what I'm doing, the moment I start feeling panicky all I want is my mum. My partner and I currently live with her but he wants to move out soon and I'm terrified. She always reminds me that she's only ever a phone call away, as I'm sure your mum is the same :)

[Arcady]

I think many people, women usually, depend on their mum because she was always the one to make things better, wipe their tears when they were children, etc. Thus when anxious they turn to her to do the same again, metaphorically speaking.

To try to lessen your dependence on your mum, try thinking of how you'd cope if she wasn't there, if she'd moved to the other side of the world, for instance. Would you survive? - Yes, of course you would! You'd miss her very much, but you'd cope, you'd get on with your life because really what choice would you have? So why not try coping more on your own now? You may feel vulnerable when she's not around, but you'll find it will get easier the more you do it. It might also be a relief to your mum to see you less dependent on her (though some mothers encourage their adult offspring to be overly dependent on them, but that's another problem entirely).

You love your mum and that's wonderful, but you're a person in your own right and you really can function without her always being by your side. Just cut the cord a little bit at a time and you'll succeed. If you can't even begin to do this, then maybe your doctor would suggest therapy, CBT could perhaps help you get things into better perspective.

[tracey c]

Venusbluejeans - I was exactly like you and I'm 44! Last year when things were really bad my mum had to more or less move in with me and sleep in my bed with me! But you know what - so what - if it gets you through a rough patch then don't worry. Eventually I was ok on my own and I'm sure you will be to. If you worry about the fact you want your mum with you then you're giving yourself something esle to worry about - let it go and enjoy the time with your mum - its sounds as if you're close.
Take care x

[venusbluejeans]

in 2004 I found my Dad on the floor of our kitchen dead, I was alone then and it obviously was very traumatic for me and my family. I think that is why i do not want to be left alone as i am scared something may happen to meor her while ther other is not around, well maybe I am not sure...
I know she has to go to work and I am very very scared when left alone, but i could not tell you what i am scared of because i just panick and keep panicking all day and can not calm down it is so scary. :weep: I hate it and still have the rest of today and the next two days to cope with yet.

[Eva May]

Every time my mum goes for an overnight somewhere far or somewhere that I can't go I panic for the entire night and have to take xanax until I'm like a zombie. It's been like that for years and I absolutely hate it and I don't know how to change it.