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haziefantasie
02-06-11, 19:07
I feel like an empty, rotten shell. It feels like my ex has been inside me, controlling everything I do & then has just left me with nothing. I should be happy that hes left me alone, has found another victim to torture emotionally & mentally. But no, I feel lost & so alone. I know I need to love myself so that I dont fall into this trap again but how is that possible when I hate myself so much? Nobody could ever love me, I thought he did but it was just another lie. Im sorry for being so negative, I wish I could just snap out of it but I just cant cope any more x

yvonne_uk_98
02-06-11, 21:04
Hi Haziefantasie,

So sorry to hear your going through a rough time, that's not true, your a lovely person, someone would love spend time with you. I know it's hard just now, things will get better, it will take time. keep posting in here and tells us how your feeling and doing. you will get support here.

I'll keep you in my prayers. hope you feel better soon.

sending you hugs and love.

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

You will get through this. I have faith in you.

Yvonne

xhyperyogix
02-06-11, 21:27
Hazie,

As you know I totally understand where you're at right now. And thanks so much for posting on my thread - ex's are horrible things, I have one too, and he wouldn't go away either. In the end I told him (1.5 yrs after he left me) not to contact me any more because he wasn't letting go and was still trying to control me. It's really hard to do, but you must be strong and not let him get near your emotions again. Let people near you who are going to respect you and be good for you, not negative.

It will get better, I promise - I've managed to haul myself out the black hole somewhat since yesterday, and so can you!

Love xxx:hugs:

haziefantasie
03-06-11, 11:53
Thank you Yvonne and Hyperyogi for your lovely posts

Im feeling a little bit better today I think, Im getting really bad mood swings & anxiety attacks since changing my antidepressants so Im all over the place at the moment. I was contacted by my ex last night aswell which hasnt exactly helped - one minute he says he loves me & the next hes telling me to hang myself so it just shows what hes doing with my head. Im being strong though & havent responded so hopefully he'll give up soon.

Thank you again for replying, Ill keep coming on here & I think it helps to write things down & get them out of my head :hugs:

debs71
03-06-11, 12:18
Hi Hazie,

I know exactly how you are feeling. I am going through a similar things right now, but please believe that this is not your failing, you are not a bad person, and YOU ARE loveable. He has just made you think that way and lowered your self esteem to nothing.

I am also in a relationship with a man who is constantly blowing hot and cold. One minute he tells me he accepts me for who I am, warts and all, the next I should change my hair, my clothes, my personality, etc. etc. This is crushing when you are already anxious, I know.

It is emotional manipulation, and you are worth so much more than that, and please believe that there really is someone out there who is truly worthy of you and will recognise you for the good person you are.

Big Hugs.xxxx:hugs:

mrk74
17-06-11, 16:17
I feel exactly the same. My ex cheated on me twice and its left me in a right old mess and I feel like its all my fault beause she couldnt handle my anxiety problems. I keep on thinking I must be a bad person for someone to leave me for someone else like that. I just wish I could get rid of this huge hole that is in my life now. Just hang in there it does get better little by little. :hugs: