other mums, please help x

[Sal x]

HI everyone,

I haven't posted on here for a while as I have been ok for the last year, but BANG, out of the blue about 2 months ago, I started with the dreaded health anxiety again (mainly about cancer but once something is in my head i can worry about anything). its so draining and Im really at my wits end. I have started doing CBT a few weeks ago, and so far it seems to be working (slowly but surely). My therapist has been trying to understand what the trigger for my ha is. She thinks its due to having no self confidence in anything and especially in thinking that I am a useless mum to my 2 lovely boys. Strangely, my HA flares up when my 4 year old plays up a lot and i feel i constantly tell him off. At my last cbt session, my therapist asked me to do a survey of questions to other mums to see if they have had the same thoughts and done the same actions as me at some point in raising there kids, so it would show me that I am not a monster mother and hopefully reduce my stress, then in course, the HA wouldn't pop up out of the blue. She put together a few questions for me to ask other mothers to see what response i got. Please, please can you take 2 mins out of your day to answer honestly to my survey questions. im hoping that the results will show me i'm a normal working mum.

1:Have you ever shouted at your children for a small reason?
2: Do you ever compare your children to other people’s children?
3: Have you ever been concerned that your behaviour is negatively impacting on your children?
4: Do you ever compare your parenting skills to others?
5: How do you feel when you spend time on yourself and not with the children or doing chores?
6: Have you ever felt dread about having the children on your own all day?

Thank you so much for helping me with my CBT homework, as i couldn't face asking people i knew as i dont want everyonr to know I am having therepy.

Sal
x:blush:

[cassy1989]

1) Yes I have done this many times and always feel absolutely awful afterwards :(

2) This I don't actually do.

3) Yes I worry because ds sees me panicking so much that he will be the same.

4) All the time. I actually think I am a rubbish parent to be honest. Even though I know all ds' needs are met I still feel crap.

5) I am a single parent and work 30 hours a week. I feel awful for working and often think I should quit but I just can't afford to really. When I am home I try to spend as much time playing with my son as possible but some times I do still need to just sit and read for half an hour to get my head around things.

6) No. I am used to being on my own with ds and the thought of being alone with him doesn't feel me with dread but if I am feeling particurlarly panicky and anxious then I do worry that I won't be able to manage as well as normal.

Hope this has helped xx

[flatterycat]

Yes to all your questions. I am a mum of a 2 year old girl who I absolutely adore. x.

[Catalyst]

Hi, I have 2 kids. A 7 year old boy & a 4 year old girl. I would have to say Yes to questions 1-5 and No to question 6. X

[Sal x]

thank you so much to everyone that took the time to reply to my post, I appreciate it. it just proves the fact more and more to me that this site is full of lovely people, always willing to help others out xx

thanks again
Sal

[AlexandriaUK]

1:Have you ever shouted at your children for a small reason? Only loads of times
2: Do you ever compare your children to other people’s children? Yep and they were always noisier
3: Have you ever been concerned that your behaviour is negatively impacting on your children? Dont we all
4: Do you ever compare your parenting skills to others? Every one does its because we always see others as better parents even if they are not
5: How do you feel when you spend time on yourself and not with the children or doing chores? Guilty, but it means we have a life out side our small bubble
6: Have you ever felt dread about having the children on your own all day? I think I spent the first 10 years of my parenthood scared and worried that I would make some major mistake and they would hate me for ever more


I turned out to be a cracking Mum but didnt know that till they were all over 21, oh well all those wasted years.

[Sal x]

thank you so much Jamangie, I appreciate it. xx

Sal

[BettyIW]

The midwife delivers a big fat dose of guilt when you give birth, it comes out about five minutes after the placenta and stays with you for the rest of your parenting life. lol
We all love our kids and no one is perfect. If we thought we were we would be terrible parents as we wouldnt learn anything. I answer yes to all those apart from comparing the kids to others. X