Contact With Employer

[Eternity]

Hi everyone
I was hoping I could get some advice.
I have recently handed in my notice at work and my final day is tomorrow. The doctor put me on sick leave due to work related stress (mainly caused by certain managers in the office). I have been offered another job which I have accepted. My sick leave finished yesterday and I had two days leave left which takes me up to tomorrow which is my last working day. I have been contacted by one of the senior managers in the office who wants to meet with me next week but won't tell me why except to say it's to tie up loose ends so we can move forward. This is one of the managers who caused me major problems. When I got her text and phone call, I actually felt sick, that's the effect it has on me. Sorry this is long winded but I wanted to check with you, after tomorrow when I am officially left the company, do I have any obligation to have contact with her or can I refuse? I have already handed in keys etc last week.
Many thanks
Tina

[suzy-sue]

Hi Eternity If you are not employed by them next week you need not attend .Unless of course, you need a reference from her .That would obviously be in your own best interest to go then ,of course .Sounds to me she is trying to sort things out so she can feel better .Id tell her I have nothing further to say and your too busy ,leave it at that .Youve had enough upset by the sound of it and dont need anymore .Good luck with the New job . I hope you feel better soon .luv Sue x:hugs:

[macc noodle]

Unless you feel that you will gain any benefit from a further meeting with this person, you are under no obligation to do it!

Sounds like you have made the right choice to find somewhere else to work - good luck hun xx

[mtatum4496]

I'm not familiar with employment laws in North Ireland, so I don't know if you have any real obligation to hold this meeting or not. Here, it is customary for managers to arrange what is known as an exit interview, purportedly to determine what went wrong in the relationship between employer and employee and what both can learn from the situation. Personally, unless you need this person for a reference (which I don't think is the case since you were on doctor ordered sick leave and you've already accepted another job), I think it would be perfectly appropriate to decline. You don't have to give a reason; if you are pressed for one, simply say that you do not wish to respond to that question and wish the person a good day.

[snowgoose]

Hi

do you have an HR or personnel department where you worked ? again not sure in Ireland .....but would have thought that the exit interview or questionnaire should come from them ....not your manager . if so then you have every right to explain the problems you had to save someone else from their malice.
agree with previous posts ......you do not have to attend unless reference is needed for future .....and then again ......sure there are others you could use .
good luck with new job and well done you considering what you have been through :flowers:

[Eternity]

Hi
Thank you all so much for the support and your lovely replies, it made me feel much better. I was able to use another colleague who previously managed me for a reference so that is all sorted. Also this person, despite being a senior manager in the building, doesn't actually manage me. Any issues which I needed to be contacted about came from my own line manager. She had said that she was happy to leave it and meet with me next week and if I didn't feel comfortable coming into the office she would come out to see me (don't bloody think so!!!). I hardly slept last night but I think that this is more a personal issue rather than work issues if she wants to meet next week and I would think that it is to clear her own conscience. I think she is the only one who would gain anything from this as I know I would feel awful afterwards and have nothing to say to her. I start my new job on Monday and have already met everyone, they are lovely and I know I'll be happy there. To be honest, if I met with her I'd feel like I was just lining myself up to be bullied all over again. I really just want to move on.

[jo61]

Don't go and don't let her come to you. You are no longer employed by them next week. If it happens an exit interview should be conducted by HR before you leave, ideally during your last week. You weren't there so leave it at that. Good luck in your new job. She has already caused you enough stress, don't let her get to you now that you have LEFT!!! Onwards and upwards. :)

[Eternity]

Hi everyone
Thank you for all your replies and support, it really meant a lot.
But I'm having a rough day today. I sent an email and text to this person advising that I wished to have no contact and copied my previous line manager into it, I'm hoping that will be the end of it. But I can't move on from the way I'm feeling. Ever since she contacted me, I have felt physically sick with a horrible anxious feeling in my stomach, i don't know what I am afraid of. Every time I get a text or phone call I get a feeling of dread and am scared to look in case it's her. This is really getting me down, i have started my new job and I love it, the people are great and no pressure but I keep feeling that I'm stuck and can't move on from feeling like this. I am already on medication (citalopram). I was changed to effexor a few months ago which didn't work for me and am in the process of getting my dose of citalopram put back up to where it was so I guess this isn't helping. Any tips or advice would be very much appreciated.
Tina x

[Swallowtail]

Eternity - well done on standing up for yourself, I agree with everyone else, a meeting with your ex employer would only have had a negative impact on you. Focus on your new job - congratulations on moving forward, it sounds like the change of your meds just need a little time to settle down. I do not think you are afraid, when someone that has upset you tells you they need to have a chat with you, it brings back all the things that hurt you before, I have had a similar problem, some people take pleasure in upsetting - do not let them have the satisfaction of this - you are the better person, and you are moving on. Good luck :) I think that you have been very strong.