sun-shine
03-06-11, 16:14
:wacko:
im guessing everyone is sick of me by now! i have a new post everyday. this anxiety really gets me down though, especially when as the days go on i dont seem to-be feeling any better... and im trying my best with everything!
yesterday i decided to keep myself busy all day. i srubbed the house from top-too-bottom, trying too keeping my mind occupied, all the while being very aware of why i was distracting myself?... in the end i was actually scared to stop, as i knew once i stopped i would have more time to think, and then my mind would start on over-drive again!?...
i went for a walk afterwards, trying to appreciate the glorious sunshine and summer flowers in bloom, but i just couldn't. i feel like my emotions are stifled and i cant enjoy anything, the only emotion my body permits is fear/dread and the constant feeling of anxiety?... but why? im usually such a happy person? it's like im waiting for bad news and things to happen to me all the time?...
last-nite after taking a sleeping pill to help me drift off after a anxiety packed day, i woke up 4hrs later with my full body shaking, heart throbbing and so disorientated and dizzy, i didn't know what was happening or where i was, this scared me so bad? :(
its like everyone around me is enjoying life and im fearing it? even silly things like looking forward to watching a fav T.V programme or having something yummy to eat for supper? i dont even do that anymore which one time i used to buzz off!... MAN why cant i consentrate on anything else other then my anxietys and the symptoms that go with my anxiety? i'm missing out on eveything going on around me?
so thats me, iv done it again and i'm sorry for blabbering!... it just seems to spill out on to the page? :unsure:
sorry again guys...
X
im guessing everyone is sick of me by now! i have a new post everyday. this anxiety really gets me down though, especially when as the days go on i dont seem to-be feeling any better... and im trying my best with everything!
yesterday i decided to keep myself busy all day. i srubbed the house from top-too-bottom, trying too keeping my mind occupied, all the while being very aware of why i was distracting myself?... in the end i was actually scared to stop, as i knew once i stopped i would have more time to think, and then my mind would start on over-drive again!?...
i went for a walk afterwards, trying to appreciate the glorious sunshine and summer flowers in bloom, but i just couldn't. i feel like my emotions are stifled and i cant enjoy anything, the only emotion my body permits is fear/dread and the constant feeling of anxiety?... but why? im usually such a happy person? it's like im waiting for bad news and things to happen to me all the time?...
last-nite after taking a sleeping pill to help me drift off after a anxiety packed day, i woke up 4hrs later with my full body shaking, heart throbbing and so disorientated and dizzy, i didn't know what was happening or where i was, this scared me so bad? :(
its like everyone around me is enjoying life and im fearing it? even silly things like looking forward to watching a fav T.V programme or having something yummy to eat for supper? i dont even do that anymore which one time i used to buzz off!... MAN why cant i consentrate on anything else other then my anxietys and the symptoms that go with my anxiety? i'm missing out on eveything going on around me?
so thats me, iv done it again and i'm sorry for blabbering!... it just seems to spill out on to the page? :unsure:
sorry again guys...
X