Calley
04-06-11, 22:30
Hello, :)
My name is Calley, I am 20 years old and have two children...
Since I was 16 I have had a 'minor' health anxiety problem- but since last year, it has gotten worse- Let me take you back,
My MIL was diagnosed as having cancer in 2009, we were told on boxing day via MSN (she lived in the Phillipines)- She had some colon and liver removed..
After some chemo and ops she was told her Liver Cancer was terminal and she would die.
fast forward to December 2010, I had our son on christmas eve, 6 days later was back in hospital with a womb infection, cleared it up, 2 weeks after this, I got my first EVER kidney infection... that infection would NOT shift- eventually i had an ultrasound.. NOTHING. I was put on a 3 month course of low dose anti b's.
I kept/keep getting pains (random, didnt/dont last long) quite painful stabbing pains in a few places 1. Lower right abdomen (all looked at via ultrasound because they thought apendix, nothing abnormal) under my left AND right ribs, just a random stabbing, which I THOUGHT was my kidneys, as it came while I had the infection, but my urine is now clear, and the random stabbing is still there.... of course, with the MIL dying my mind went into over drive, it MUST be cancer, it might be my liver that is hurting, or maybe its my gallbladder (her cancer went there too), so i would eat- and see if it brought the pain on- it didnt and doesnt..
This month I 'came on' late, a few days beforehand I got the lower right stabbing pain and thought 'eptopic pregnancy!!' only to get my period a couple days later.
when my son was 12 weeks old, i started getting a tingly right shoulder- not painful, just annoying and i still get it now quite alot (probably posture?) - so recently I've had a cold, with a chesty cough, which apparently ISNT an infection- and I've got this tingly/achy shoulder and random stabbing pains below the ribs (not UNDER, as in.. INSIDE, more top abdomen)- I must have lung cancer then, so i stare at every bit of ghastly gunk I cough up checking it doesnt have blood in it...
Well frankly, I am driving myself NUTS with this, I told the dr how I feel atm, he said he will refer me for councelling- but isnt keen on prescribing me some kind of pills to make my brain work properly. I have spent hours and hours on Google, typing in symptoms with no end of results.. I get snappy with my OH, and my kids.. I just want to run away from myself.
I am PETRIFIED of dying, I mean petrified too- ever since I can remember, I have always imagined it as if you are choking, trying to breathe but cant.. Of course, it probably isnt like that- but who knows? I don't.. and never want to :weep: although know ONE DAY I will have to..
I dont want to have spent my whole life worrying about the inevitable, but I cant seem to stop myself ..
My name is Calley, I am 20 years old and have two children...
Since I was 16 I have had a 'minor' health anxiety problem- but since last year, it has gotten worse- Let me take you back,
My MIL was diagnosed as having cancer in 2009, we were told on boxing day via MSN (she lived in the Phillipines)- She had some colon and liver removed..
After some chemo and ops she was told her Liver Cancer was terminal and she would die.
fast forward to December 2010, I had our son on christmas eve, 6 days later was back in hospital with a womb infection, cleared it up, 2 weeks after this, I got my first EVER kidney infection... that infection would NOT shift- eventually i had an ultrasound.. NOTHING. I was put on a 3 month course of low dose anti b's.
I kept/keep getting pains (random, didnt/dont last long) quite painful stabbing pains in a few places 1. Lower right abdomen (all looked at via ultrasound because they thought apendix, nothing abnormal) under my left AND right ribs, just a random stabbing, which I THOUGHT was my kidneys, as it came while I had the infection, but my urine is now clear, and the random stabbing is still there.... of course, with the MIL dying my mind went into over drive, it MUST be cancer, it might be my liver that is hurting, or maybe its my gallbladder (her cancer went there too), so i would eat- and see if it brought the pain on- it didnt and doesnt..
This month I 'came on' late, a few days beforehand I got the lower right stabbing pain and thought 'eptopic pregnancy!!' only to get my period a couple days later.
when my son was 12 weeks old, i started getting a tingly right shoulder- not painful, just annoying and i still get it now quite alot (probably posture?) - so recently I've had a cold, with a chesty cough, which apparently ISNT an infection- and I've got this tingly/achy shoulder and random stabbing pains below the ribs (not UNDER, as in.. INSIDE, more top abdomen)- I must have lung cancer then, so i stare at every bit of ghastly gunk I cough up checking it doesnt have blood in it...
Well frankly, I am driving myself NUTS with this, I told the dr how I feel atm, he said he will refer me for councelling- but isnt keen on prescribing me some kind of pills to make my brain work properly. I have spent hours and hours on Google, typing in symptoms with no end of results.. I get snappy with my OH, and my kids.. I just want to run away from myself.
I am PETRIFIED of dying, I mean petrified too- ever since I can remember, I have always imagined it as if you are choking, trying to breathe but cant.. Of course, it probably isnt like that- but who knows? I don't.. and never want to :weep: although know ONE DAY I will have to..
I dont want to have spent my whole life worrying about the inevitable, but I cant seem to stop myself ..