i feel like giving up, please someone help me

[duke246810]

i have severe health anxiety and i worry about myself and the people i love. i always get a feeling of doom and like im never going to ever be happy again. at the moment i have pain the in stomach wierd taste in mouth and wierd popping noises from it, i have eaten and im extemely bloated. this was hours ago. i am dizzy and have cold hands and feet with pain in them. this is never going to end, i am never going to be happy.. i want to be able to horse ride but im so scared of falling of and being paralized or dying. this is not how i want to live, i feel like im destroying my families lives. i lied to my mum the other day and i have so much guilt in me its unbeluevable it was only a little white lie. i dont know what to do anymore, i feel like im annoying people on this site, but its my only reassurence and help i get when im feeling all alone. please somebody help me, this is getting out of control and i dont think there is ever a time when im not thinking about death. i just want to be happy, i cry all the time for no reason, and feel like i depress my family. i have had a very eventful childhood with good points and points i would rather forget, but i will always stick by my parents. my mum suffers from anxiety to and she gets it extremely bad so when i talk to her about it i feel im upsetting her loads. somebody please help me, does anyone else go through this, its making my life a misery, i have no friends, no social life, i always feel tierd and have loads of symptoms, always on edge, refrain from doing anything to do with going out anywhere because i think of dying all the time, im a mess..... please help.

[ElectricAlice]

Hi there, I can completely empathise with you 100%. It is just a complete and utter struggle. I have had health anxiety since my mum passed away last October. And that feeling of doom and that you'll never be happy is awful. I wish there was an easy cure for what we're all going for. Not many people understand all our irrational fears, and I too feel like i'm annoying my boyfriend, because he just doesn't understand how I can get so wound up about something so irrational.

I suffer from terrible guilt as well. There's always something niggling in your mind that causes problems.

I always feel tired; I've been told this is just your body suffering from the stress that anxiety causes, it can be so tirying to be on edge all the time.

I'll try and share all the things with you that help me, and I really hope you feel better soon, i'm sure you'll get through this. Just don't give up hope when you have your off days okay? You'll be fine.

Okay, firstly I have been reading CBT and Health Anxiety books. I have some e-books I can email you if you'd like? They are files you can read from your computer with Adobe Reader, and they're very helpful. They include a lot of structure and activities. They can be very hard to focus on and they require hard work. But a good distraction and proove extremely, extremely helpful in health anxiety. (i'm still getting the motivation to start reading them, but what I have read helps)

Also, I know it's very, very difficult. But something that helps, if you can try and stick to it, is cutting down your 'self-checking' (i.e; checking your pulse, and other things you do - if you do these things, I do them myself, it's become a bad habit). Maybe limit yourself to once or twice a day, and soon if you stick to that you'll get bored of doing them and that will help the anxiety. Also do the same for your reassurance seeking. At first your anxiety will peak, but as you learn to reassure yourself your anxiety will decrease, and then you wont need reassurance eventually.
(again, i know this is SO hard, because i'm trying myself, but it does help, i promise)

Watch out for controlling your breating. Each day lie on your back and put your hand on your belly and just take a few deep breaths and let all the worry and stress drain out of your body. You will be okay. You will survive!

Cut down on caffiene, have fruit teas, try St. John Worts in your fruit teas, with a little honey. This is a herbal remedy to decrease anxiety. It's quite widely acclaimed. Also baths are good.

You will get through this, I know it feels hopeless, and impossible. I feel that every day too, it's so awful. But just focus on the times you feel okay.

And lastly, try a walk every day. Exercise is supposed to help.

I hope this helps. If I can't manage my own HA, hopefully I can try and help others at least.

Take care,
xxx

[duke246810]

Hi there,

Thankyou so much for your reply.
I just find its hard to destract myself from these things, as i get blochy hands and feet, they go freezing, i get trembling legs and get pains in them and i just feel cold all the time.
The other day i had a headache for about a week then touched my nose and a little bit of blood came out, yet they checked my eyes and everything was clear. Its really getting me down, nothing seems to work, all i can hope is this councilling will help me..

I just want to sleep, thats my main fear, sleeping :( xx