sun-shine
07-06-11, 12:41
well its day 12 of my Citalopram journey, & every single day has been a different roller-coaster ride from one day to the next? i really shouldn't just use posts for "negative" experiences but when i find myself in my darkest hours i always seem to run to the forum to post my latest anxiety dramas! and these past week days have been no exception.
all last week i kept myself busy, swimming, walking, gym. i was ill whilst doing everything but thought its better then staying in doors and dwelling on every feeling i have, thinking " is this the end? oh god im not breathing, im gasping for breath, im gonna die" (dramatic i know but thats what HA does too you?)
out of the 12 days iv been on my medication i have had around 2 moments of feeling "normal" but tend too come crashing down soon after and i scare myself back in to "the pit of anxiety dread and fear" ... but i guess its a start? as this past month i have had no feeling of normality, infact no feelings for anthing at all, well besides fear?
and so my journey continues, maybe one day my foot will stop moving, or that tight/breathless feeling in my chest will subside, or this fear of death will just dizzolve?... who knows? all i know is i'll be having one big party when i find my normal self once more!...
X
all last week i kept myself busy, swimming, walking, gym. i was ill whilst doing everything but thought its better then staying in doors and dwelling on every feeling i have, thinking " is this the end? oh god im not breathing, im gasping for breath, im gonna die" (dramatic i know but thats what HA does too you?)
out of the 12 days iv been on my medication i have had around 2 moments of feeling "normal" but tend too come crashing down soon after and i scare myself back in to "the pit of anxiety dread and fear" ... but i guess its a start? as this past month i have had no feeling of normality, infact no feelings for anthing at all, well besides fear?
and so my journey continues, maybe one day my foot will stop moving, or that tight/breathless feeling in my chest will subside, or this fear of death will just dizzolve?... who knows? all i know is i'll be having one big party when i find my normal self once more!...
X