View Full Version : Worried About Meeting Old Employer
:weep:
Hi
i had posted a few days ago that I have started a new job after leaving my old one. I've been on medication for depression and anxiety for two years which my doctor thinks is partly pms and partly due to work stress. Before I finished with my old employer (last week) I was off on sick leave for two months and used a few days annual leave to complete my notice. I had some contact from a senior manager (one of the people causing me problems) but I replied that I wanted no more contact.
I received an email yesterday saying that they acknowledge that I want no further contact but that there are some oustanding issues which they want to discuss i.e. some discrepancies in two of the accounts. i don't honestly know if this is someone else's mistake while I was off, or my own due to feeling so awful before I went off on sick leave. I have agreed to meet with them on Thursday to sort this out (mainly as I don't want my reputation ruined or something hanging over me). I know that this will give me closure and is the best thing but I have felt so anxious and sick since yesterday it's unbearable. I just want to get it over with so I can move on. My head is busting and I can't eat.
I'm trying to think positively that this will be closure and then I can move on with my new job and I know I will be relieved when the meeting is over but I can't stop this horrible anxious feeling, it's driving me crazy.
I'm so sorry for complaining again, I'm sure you're fed up listening to me especially as everyone was so supportive of my last post. But trying to explain anxiety to someone who doesn't understand is useless, just get the usual 'put it out of your mind', if I could do that I would!!!
Thanks for listening
Tina xxx
oh heck Tina
I feel for you so much .........this is outrageous . I dont know enough about employers right to this interview .......but sure the others who know and give excellent advice will post soon [or pm them ? ]
for me make sure you take someone with you who will take notes that you trust.
This isnt your line manager is it? surely if there was some discrepancy they would be involved .
until you have some union or expert advice actually .............I wouldnt attend .
Easy for me to say Tina ..............but please dont let this spoil your new job and new beginning . if anything was wrong .......hells bells they have taken a long time deciding they need to see you . it reeks of bullying .
take care xxxx
Well Tina you have made the appointment now so it would be in your own best interest to go .However I do find this rather strange .If there had been discrepancies why didnt they say something before ?? If it was serious Im sure they would have .Sounds a bit suspicious to me .I would be fuming .:mad:.All you can do is go and see it through .It wouldnt look good on your behalf if you didnt .We all make mistakes and if it is yours ,SO WHAT ? you were extremely stressed at the time .Its not a hanging offense is it? You hold your head up and once this is over you can move forward for good .Id be giving them a piece of my mind before I left too ..Sounds very much like its a bad place .You are well out of there .Just get through tomorrow the best way you can ,maybe try something like Nytol to help you sleep .A day of not eating isnt going to hurt you ,but try to drink plenty .Maybe eating small ammounts and nibbles if you cant fancy a meal .You need to keep your strength up to give em what for ..Take care and im sure you will feel a 100% better once this is over .Things we come thorugh make us stronger .We are right behind you dont forget .:hugs:.Sue x
Hi
thank you for your lovely reply, you've so supportive and I really appreciate it. It will be the horrible manager lol plus my old line manager who isn't actually too bad. As I no longer work there, they don't have any actual control over me and I could choose not to attend but it would mean that I couldnt' use them for a reference in the future and to me it would feel like I had something to hide (which I don't) if that makes sense. I really feel that facing this head on would be closure for me and I could get on with my life and my new job. it's just one of those things that you want to get over with right now and not wait for it. My friend said that she will go with me and wait outside so I know someone is there. i've thought about taking someone from the union with me but again to me it would feel like I was guilty of something when I'm not, apart from possibly making a mistake which they can't fire me for cos I've already left!!! Knowing my friend is outside will help I think and I know I can get up and leave at any time. Just wish I could convince myself of all this lol.
Hi Sue
Just picked up on your reply, thank you.
That's how I feel, that I just need to get this over with. part of me feels like running away but that's not me and I know I'll get some of my confidence back if I face this head on. I guess i just need to remember that I don't work there anymore and they can't bully me anymore xxx
will be thinking of you tomorrow Tina
you got me and Suzie sitting on your shoulder for support [along with the forum]
By tomorrow night it will be over and done with .............and onwards to a much happier life..........you can do it with dignity and head high my gal :)
:hugs:
Wish it was tomorrow but it's Thursday unfortunately so another day to go, I'll probably be in major panic mode tomorrow night. But you're right, I have to just keep thinking that in a few days it will be over. You've been so lovely and supportive, I really appreciate it.
My best friend suffers with depression and anxiety also, I've been trying to get her to join this site for some support and hopefully she will. She's been having some major anxiety latey and her doctor has prescribed diazepam for a few weeks to help her. She has offered to give me a few, just for the next few days and I'm thinking it might help. I don't want to go in there feeling like a victim and letting them blame me for everything. Not sure if that makes sense x
oh heck sorry .of course tomorrow is not Thursday :doh:
You are not going into that meeting as a victim Tina ...........a brave lass that got out of what sounds a very toxic place to work [and hell we spend so much of our lives at work usually ].
cant really say here about taking pals Diazepam .............best not eh?
you havent needed it yet ...........and you can see this meeting through without
or ask your own gp for one off prescription ?
stay close to forum tomorrow night and post and chat . I will be around if you need to distract yourself .......one of your posts I remember said you had a puppy?
excellent :blush:.can chat about our canine friends for hours .......or anything really .
you will be fine and you have not done anything wrong that is remotely serious or you would know . they are at the worst going to nitpick . or are scared you will go to tribunal more like and are trying to back track on their bullying.
xxxx
Hiya
Yep I have a boxer called Samson, he's a big dote. He's 16 months and massive but still jumps up on ur knee as if he's a little puppy. I'd be lost without him x
hiya
Samson can meet Harry the Beagle/Basset cross :hugs:
unfortunately the light is on in Harrys head .........but no one at home :wacko:
adore boxers ......they have such a zest for life
feel a pet therapy thread coming on ......:ohmy:
dont worry xx
Aw I know, pets are such great company and I sit and tell Samson all sorts of things going through my head and get a big sloppy lick instead of someone looking at me as if I'm crazy. I'd really be lost without him he's so loving, definitely the baby of the house. Harry sounds gorgeous, how old is he?
musichelps
07-06-11, 21:34
Hi just read your post and my gut feeling is "why go" i really wouldnt put myself through it and i wouldnt give 2 hoots about the decrepancies in their stupid accounts, its took them long enough to contact you about them. Im sure they can sort them out themselves. At best i would talk to them over the phone or by email, but meeting up....NO . Oh you said you might need a reference off them, but why do you need one if youve already got the other job. If you do go, please please take someone with you.But i wouldnt go and i wouldnt feel bad x x
When you go tomorrow Eternity ,Just keep thinking that you are the one that has been wronged here .Not her ..If you hadnt been bullied you wouldnt be in this situation .You have nothing to feel bad about whatsoever .Keep telling yourself this .It will keep you strong and I always find if I get a bit cross it stops me from buckling under .You are doing them a favour going .As by rights you dont have to go .I understand why you need to do this ,Imagine we are there with you ,think before you speak and remember to breathe slowly and deeply through your nose .You can do it and you can then put this behind you once and for all .Everything in life whether good or bad happens for a reason .This is going to show you how good it makes you feel to face that FEAR ...Just stay focused and you will do just fine ..:hugs:Luv Sue
Hi Sue
thank you so much, you have been great and so supportive. I just keep thinking that this time tomorrow it will be nearly over, the stomach churning anxiety is so awful isn't it. It's like a stuck record in your head going over things again and again until you actually feel sick. I'll be thinking of you sitting on my shoulder like a little angel encouraging me and reminding me that I can do this. I don't know what I'd do without all the wonderful support on here from people like you and Snowgoose xx
Tina x
Good luck tomorrow Tina ,:hugs:It will all be over in less then 24hrs :yesyes:....The what if ,s drive you mad dont they ? But in reality things never turn out as we expect them too .Its just an over anxious mindset .Dont let this woman bully you anymore .What they expect you to do about it is beyond me .Sounds like she just wants to have the last word .:lac:Im sure you will do just fine tho .Remember ..I will be sending you lots of good positive vibes .Let us know how it went as soon as you get home ..Will be thinking of you ..All the best .luv Sue xx:bighug1:
Been thinking of you all day :hugs:Hope things went ok Tina ? Got to go out now but will log on later to see if you have posted .I do hope you are ok ..Luv Sue xxx:hugs:
hello Tina :hugs:
been thinking of you like Suzy and the forum all day :hugs:
you ok ?
xxx
Hi Snow, Suzy and everyone
Was so tired and stressed last night just wanted to sleep and couldn't come on, I'm sorry.
The meeting was as awful as I thought it would be. Basically some of my records receipts etc have mysteriously gone missing which means that of course petty cash etc isn't balancing out. I haven't been in work for almost three months so what happened in that time I have no idea but I think they were obviously looking for me to admit to taking money from them!!! No bloody chance, I worked there for years and did everything I could for them and this is the thanks you get, it's a nightmare. I have a good friend who is a solicitor who I spoke to and told me not to worry that hopefully this will be the end of it but if not (as they could report it to the police) she will handle it and also inform them of the harrassment etc which forced me into ill health and out of my job. So I'm still worried but not the same gut wrenching anxiety that I felt before, I feel more exhausted now. It's hard to believe sometimes that people can be so nasty, as if life isn't hard enough for us all. They even had the nerve to tell me off because I had put a status on my facebook saying that I loved my new job and the lovely people!!! They said it was derogatory to their organisation. I just really want it over with and to get on with my life.
I'm sorry for moaning on, everyone on here has their own problems and you have all been so kind and supportive. To that end, thank you everyone and especially Snow and Suzy, you have been wonderful and sending you big hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Hi Eternity,
Have been following your thread and cannot believe that these people could be so awful to you...really feel for you...dreadful what you have been through and now this?? How dare they?? Thank goodness for your solicitor friend. I would let them deal with it all from here and try to move on from it!!
At least you now have a better job with some really nice people.
I hope you are able to move on from this now.
Thinking of you.:hugs::hugs:
Jo.xx
Hi Jo
Thank you for your lovely reply. I do really love my new job and really just want to put this behind me so fingers crossed it will be over soon.
Love T xxx
Hi Eternity ,
cant post the words on open forum that I would like to call those PAST employers of yours :mad:
That is so uncalled for and unprofessional of them actually . They have no proof whatsoever and to me was the final bullying act. I am glad you have solicitor friend who will reassure you that you have nothing to be troubled about .
it still smells to me of them fearing a backlash from you of bullying in work place that resulted in your illness and distress .
anyway you are the important lady here Tina . So glad to hear that the stomach wrenching anxiety is abating ..and you are looking forward .not back .
on now and up ........good new workplace and colleagues........new start .
tonight or tomorrow promise yourself that after 2 minutes reflection that you will never look back to this again ..........gone .caput [spelling ? ]
Breathe deep ...........and turn your face now to the sun :hugs:
Hi Snow
thank you so much for everything, you have been wonderful and so supportive and I know from your other post that you have your own worries right now, I hope you and your hubby are ok?
Reading this made me very angry Tina ..Im so sorry you had to go through that ,Especially after what they have already put you through .Smells definately SUSS to me .I really dont think they would dare take it to the police .No evidence and its not as if youve been there recently .It could have been anybody ..if AT ALL ..:winks:. --Well you did the right thing in going thats for sure .I hope now you can enjoy your new job and move on ..You deserve to be happy ..As the saying goes what goes around comes around ..Im a great believer that people get payed back in life ..At least you have a nicer job and workmates .Your Solicitor friend will take care of it ,if needs be ,but I doubt if it will come to that ,,They know they have done wrong and it wouldnt be in their best interests .Well done for going you should feel proud you saw it through:hugs: .Try to put it behind you now ...Wishing you .Happy days ahead :yesyes:..Take care and have a good weekend ..luv Sue xx:hugs:
Hi Sue
Thank you for the support and encouragement, I honestly couldn't have got through the last few days without you and Snow, you have been so kind and gave me lots of strength to get through this. I'm going to try and put this behind me and let my solicitor deal with it if any more comes of it. I just want this whole episode behind me and to move on with my life.
Thank you again and have a lovely weekend.
Lots of love
Tina xxx
Your more than welcome Tina .:hugs:You have a nice w/e too and a fresh start eh? Onward and upward ..:yesyes:Luv Sue xxx
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.