Doing a degree with anxiety

[weevil]

Last year I finally went back to Uni to start a degree from scratch after intending to for quite a few years. Anxiety has plagued my higher education despite doing very well in GCSEs since I was 17 (am now 30). I started the foundation year last year all excited and up for it yet once again became crippled by anxiety, was afraid to go to classes and got behind with the work. At Christmas I was advised to intercalate which means to repeat the year this September.

I'm VERY anxious at the moment about all sorts of things and about nothing at all. It has turned to physical symptoms. I'm afraid I won't be ready for it this year, I don't want to waste another year through not turning up. I'm seeing a psychologist for the first time this month, it took me years to seek much help. I don't think that's enough time to be ready.

I'm thinking of changing subject entirely, I've been intending to do Maths with this Science foundation year for years but just intending it, not doing it. The foundation year was quite overwhelming with all the different subjects you have to do plus practicals and labs which I find harder to be in than lectures. I'm thinking of studying Psychology, I've always been interested in it because of my own problems and in general. And I'm thinking of doing it through the Open University at least at first, while I try and get my anxiety under control. I'm not sure if this is running away or being realistic, I believe the latter due to my track record but I can never be sure. Distance learning is more isolating, which I need to avoid but it'd remove the fear of making it to Uni every day. Plus I have a housemate now and can try and involve myself in other things to prevent complete isolation.

Has anyone done something like this? I'm also unsure in how it works, can you be sick at home and studying with OU? I'd be doing OU instead of being a full-time student because I'm sick.

[deepreason]

I've done almost exactly the same thing but in reverse mate and I can wholeheartedly endorse the OU system.

I'm 36 and going through a divorce currently, on top of my mental problems, so I was in a really bad state 2 years ago. Something I'd always wanted to do was go back to Uni and concentrate on getting a degree properly, rather than pissing around in the bar every night. My therapist persuaded me that what I needed to prepare for this was some structure to my week and something that would help build my self confidence up first. We settled on the idea of me doing a one year OU course before applying to Uni "proper".

I can honestly say it was one of the best choices I've made on my road to recovery. I signed up for year one of a science degree, only intending to do that first year. All the books etc. arrived in the post and they are really well written. There is a certain skill to writing in the style they do that builds you up slowly from nothing, too quite complex ideas. The feedback is perfect because you get an online exam and a piece of coursework each month so you are constantly getting marks back which provide great encouragment as to how you are doing. The whole process just builds very neatly and before you know it you're absolutely engrossed.

I set myself up a study timetable but found I was breaking it frequently, in order to do EXTRA work! Very different from when I last studied in my teens/twenties. It's just very involving, fun and addictive!

I'm now awaiting my final mark in a month or so but should pass with no problems at all (averaging about 80%+ on a 40% pass mark hehehe) and I've been accepted to Exeter University starting this October.

The main thing is that I now have very little fear about starting my new course. I'm actively looking forward to it as my "fresh start" and can't wait to get stuck in. Most of the fears have been dispelled and I've built some real confidence in how I'm going to cope.

One last thing I'd advise, if you do go back to a bricks and mortar uni at some point is to look into Disabled Students Allowance. My experience with them has been very positive, not at all like applying for a benefit with the government. They are helping me pay for things like a weekly counsellor at the college, storage for my medications, a laptop / voice recorder for lectures etc. Even some specialist software to help me organise my thoughts when I get stressed out. Very nice people who can offer some real help where needed.

I wish you lots of luck with whatever you choose to do Weevil and I'm sure if you take it slow and steady you'll build up confidence as you go. :)

[Groundhog]

Hi Weevil
Like Deepreason I whole heartedly advocate the OU. I have one degree with the OU- an open science degree and I am now on my second degree. Unlike you though I’m in my fifties and did it only for enjoyment although that said I now teach in a secondary school although not as a qualified teacher. I started mine when I was forty, I gave up my job as a motorsport engineer to become a house husband to a career wife and studied while running a small business doing firework displays and looking after our two children. The flexibility of the studying meant some years I only did maybe a ten point or thirty point course and other years I was doing seventy or eighty and the option is that you can happily miss a year altogether if you wish. Lectures are optional although I do not have issues that mean I could not attend them so I do/did regularly go the same with residential courses – these were some of the best weeks I had spent away-great fun.
As for being ill there are deadlines for work to handed to your tutor but these are set at the start of the course so if for any reason you are unable to study for a week or two it is up to you to catch up. Under certain circumstances tutor will extend assignment dates. Also have to bear in mind that although level one courses do not require you to sit a formal exam level two and three do.

Go on their web site (if you haven’t already) and get a prospectus or ring them they are really helpful and won’t try to hard sell, generally if you ring they will get one of the lecturers (all Phd’s)to chat with you, as I say though the people are very friendly and approachable :)

[weevil]

Thanks for the response, hope I remember the bits I was going to comment on.

Deepreason: was it easy to go from a year at OU to a Uni? I am considering that depending on how well it goes with my assessment and treatments. It'd be nice to be at a Uni but my gut (I hope it's my gut and not my flight response) thinks I'm not ready to be there yet and I refuse to do nothing in the meantime. I want to learn and be worried about reasonable things like not understanding a bit of work or a deadline. I would worry about whether I was going to make it into class and then if I did how quickly could I escape without anyone seeing me and god forbid talk to me.

I had some DSA things last year though it all came a bit late after I was then meant to be intercalating the course and restarting this year. And that course I'm not at all comfortable in restarting in a few months, I'm not sure if it was the anxiety or if it was me, which has made me have 2nd thoughts about what to do instead. It'd be a shame as the Uni were great with disabilities and issues but that's not going to change my mind about a course I'm no longer convinced on. They alone can't fix the fear I had of walking into a class room... or worse like labs and field trips.

In my ideal world I think I'd like to do OU with psychology for the first year and then see if it would be possible for the Uni to take me in after that. I'm not guarrenteeing I'd be ready for it but I'd like to have the option.

Thanks for your replies

[deepreason]

I'm not starting the actual Uni course until September this year so I can't say for certain how it's going to go but if I think about how I was a year ago, before my OU course, versus now I'm a hundred times better. I'm actively looking forward to my course and have very few worries about it.

Your point about wanting to have more "real world" worries like deadlines and textbook problems is a very good one. I really found that having something to occupy my mind rather than worrying about my mind made me improve in leaps and bounds. The structure it gives your days, the sense of self worth and the ability to concetrate on something other than being unwell are invaluable.

[lenore]

I threw myself in at the deep end by going away to stay in halls miles from my family and friends. It seemed to work for me, but I'm not sure I'd recommend it!

I did have times when I struggled a lot and I found that talking about my problems with lecturers and the academic support staff really helped as, for the most part, they were very accommodating and understood that I sometimes wasn't able to get to classes and gave me the information that I would be missing out on. That might have been because I did a BA rather than Bsc though so hardly had to be there anyway!

Would you feel up to calling or emailing the Uni you have in mind and talking through the possibility of attending after your OU course? It might give you an idea of how well they deal with students who have anxiety issues and what they could do to help ease you into it?