Excitement turned to nervousness!!

[ames]

Hi all, hope people are doing ok?

I have my hen do this weekend, we are going away for 3 nights, staying in some beautiful barns and doing lots of activities that I know nothing about!! I have been looking forward to this over the last week, but of course this has turned to nervousness!!

A few weeks ago I couldnt have even thought about going away, I was in such a bad place, which I posted about on here, but I am definately improving, although going out is still hard.

I am worried now that these nerves will stick around and I wont beable to enjoy myself!! Silly really as worry breeds worry. I am trying to ignore them but as the weekend gets closer I am getting a bit scared!!

Any advice that could help would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks

Ames

[PokerFace]

You'll probably find once you get there and get stuck into things you'll be having so much fun your brain will just forget to be anxious!

As anxious people, we always tend to build things up massivley before we do them but I've never heard anyone say it was as awful as they made out in their mind before hand! :)

Just try to relax about it, I know, so much easier said than done. When you think about it, if negative thoughts come about it just turn them into postive like "what if I have a panic attack?" "I'll be with a lot of friends/family and I'll be safe, no panic attack has ever killed anyone! I'll be having too much fun to have one anyway!" Then smile and let yourself get excited about it! Positive mental attitude works wonders, you're gonna be fine :) xx

[jill]

Hi hun :D:hugs:

I am sorry to hear that Mrs anxiety has reared her ugly head at this exciting time. Of course, this can feel devastating and your mind goes into overdrive when Mrs anxiety is present :hugs:

This is called anticipatory anxiety, you get excited, then your mind starts to misinterpret these feelings because excitement feels similar to anxiety and your minds starts putting 2 and 2 together and comes up with 5 (worse case scenario) the what ifs start playing with you.

I myself have had this in the past, still do a little from time to time,depending on what I am doing, but got in down to a more manageable level and always go on to have a great time.

***I am worried these nerves will stick around and I wont be able to enjoy myself, silly really as worry breads worry. I am trying to ignore them but as the weekend gets closer I am getting scared.***

When we suffer anxiety/panic, we have to try DAME hard to change the way we think, NOT easy, it takes a lot of hard work, time and the right support, BUT,if we can make small changes in the way we think, over time, anxiety gets less and less.

You said yourself hun, you are defo improving, making small steps forward to recovery, you should be soooo proud of yourself, :hugs: WELL DONE:yesyes:

You DO have knowledge about anxiety, worry breads worry, this is GREAT, DON'T knock yourself about worrying, BUT allowing yourself these concerns IS OK, allow your worries, give yourself a good reason to worry, eg, my anxiety is a little high right now, Mmm after all who wants to feel unwell on there hen night, BUT, its NOT going to spoil things for me, I WILL NOT let it, let the symptoms be there, BUT, go on then, to talk to yourself and start reassuring yourself that your going to be just fine.

Allowing anxiety to be there is not easy, after all, its NOT pleasant, then comes all the what ifs and challenging thought pattens, by telling yourself ITS OK to feel this way FOE NOW, because this is NOT going to last forever, JUST FOR NOW, till you can learn more, helps you move forward a little more.

Look at it this way, if a friend or a loved one had the same worries, or worries about anything really, how would you reassure them ? we have to learn how to reassure ourselves, this is not easy and it takes time. Small changes in the way we think, makes more progress.

When going places like on holiday or nights out, if mine kicked in, depending on what level the anxiety was at, the highter the level the more challenging the thoughts where :ohmy: and they ARE challenging scary thoughts when anxiety levels are high, I would NEVER push the thoughts away, more do a swish method on them, Mmmm just say for instance, worrying the symptoms may stay, longer, I would think MORE back to the times when I had good times, keep my thoughts on the same subject, holidays, or night out, remind myself of good nights out or great holidays, show myself I can have a good time, but in my next thought, I would talk to Mrs anxiety and tell her, she could come with me, IF she wants, BUT she is NOT going to spoil things, invite her along, so to speak.

Also, reminding myself, that at this present moment in time, this is what I have, anxiety, if I don't feel anything, THATS GREAT, but if I feel some anxiety, thats OK too, I may just feel something because at this present moment in time, I am learning to change how I think, so its going to take time, so ITS OK, to feel some anxiety.

Also., reminding myself, I CANNOT see into the future, I cannot possibly know how I am going to feel in the next second let alone next week.

Ohh I hope I am explaining things right, I am rubbish at explaining things at times LOL

Changing the way we think is not easy, my thoughts where when acute, if my mind got me into this mess it can also get me out of it.

I do believe, if you truly believe you can get better, your mind WILL find ways to do it.

So, hun, the way you are thinking right now, its NOT SILLY, its anxiety thinking and after all, that is what you have, anxiety, SO NO thought pattens are silly when it comes to Mrs anxiety,

I do hope this has been of some help, even if its just knowing your not alone and this CAN be overcome, with a lot of hard work and time.

YOU WILL have a GREAT WEEKEND, YOU yourself we make sure of this, this weekend is important to you and YOU WILL NOT let Mrs anxiety spoil it for you, invite her along as long as she plays nice, if she does not, kick her but.

YOU CAN DO THIS, its there in you, you just have to believe you can.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XX

[ames]

Thanks guys for taking the time to reply, and Jill your post made perfect sense, you are very good at explaining things!! I know I will have a fab time, and yes 'mrs anxiety' can come, but like you say, if she misbehaves she can pee off!! Xx

[ames]

Todays the day and the nerves have already kicked in!! I feel rubbish!! Don't want to ruin this!!

[ames]

Well, my hen do was fantastic!! Had a few moments where mrs anxiety reared her head but I just took myself off for a bit or rode through it!! Yey!! Actually feel more anxious now I am back!! Next step, move out of my mums and back home to my lovely fiancé!! Xx

[PokerFace]

Well done! Glad you had a fantastic time, that's really good to hear, knew you would! :)

Keep moving forward, anxiety will be left behind in no time, well done xx

[ames]

Thanks! Xx

[jill]

Ohhhh WELL DONE :yesyes:

You should be soo proud of yourself, keep those reassuring thoughts going.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX