fireangel
10-06-11, 17:35
Hi,
I don't really know how these forum things work but i thought i would give it a go as there seem to be a lot of people feeling similar to the way i do. I am 26 and although i have a lot going for me in my life now i still feel so alone and hopeless and unhappy. I have had depression in some form for over 10 years. i cant take medication as my body reacts to it all and i get extreme side effects. i have seen psychotherapists, psychologists, cbt experts, pyschiatrists, hypnotherapists, herbalists...you name it ive done it. i eventually managed to pull myself out of the worst part of it and stopped self harming and wishing my life away. But now i feel like im on a downward spiral again and i cant stop it. i have been treated so badly in my past by friends, colleagues and partners that i now suffer from anxiety. I had been single for almost 2 years and felt miserable alone and was deseperately unhappy. i would often wake up wishing i hadnt, i lost all my motivation and would quite often sit kinda catatonic all day long staring at the tv doing nothing. i had good days too though and was coping to a certain extent. Ive since met someone and been seeing him for about 2 months but i am plagued with anxiety which is making me ill, im not sleeping properly, not eating properly, i feel sick, shakey and get palpitations regularly every day, and have nightmares at night. I have been cheated on in every relationship i have had, been treated awfully and had my confidence and trust destroyed. This poor bloke has done nothing and deep down i know i can trust him but i feel physically sick when i see his mobile, when he goes on his laptop, when i see him talk to another girl and i feel awful when we are apart. Its horrendous and i cant seem to stop it. the thing is now i am so sick and tired of fighting, in every aspect of my life that im too tired. i just want to give up.
I just wanted to talk to someone as ive not really got anyone i can talk to about this. I wish it would just go away so i could enjoy the good things i have in my life.
Thanks for reading this...x
I don't really know how these forum things work but i thought i would give it a go as there seem to be a lot of people feeling similar to the way i do. I am 26 and although i have a lot going for me in my life now i still feel so alone and hopeless and unhappy. I have had depression in some form for over 10 years. i cant take medication as my body reacts to it all and i get extreme side effects. i have seen psychotherapists, psychologists, cbt experts, pyschiatrists, hypnotherapists, herbalists...you name it ive done it. i eventually managed to pull myself out of the worst part of it and stopped self harming and wishing my life away. But now i feel like im on a downward spiral again and i cant stop it. i have been treated so badly in my past by friends, colleagues and partners that i now suffer from anxiety. I had been single for almost 2 years and felt miserable alone and was deseperately unhappy. i would often wake up wishing i hadnt, i lost all my motivation and would quite often sit kinda catatonic all day long staring at the tv doing nothing. i had good days too though and was coping to a certain extent. Ive since met someone and been seeing him for about 2 months but i am plagued with anxiety which is making me ill, im not sleeping properly, not eating properly, i feel sick, shakey and get palpitations regularly every day, and have nightmares at night. I have been cheated on in every relationship i have had, been treated awfully and had my confidence and trust destroyed. This poor bloke has done nothing and deep down i know i can trust him but i feel physically sick when i see his mobile, when he goes on his laptop, when i see him talk to another girl and i feel awful when we are apart. Its horrendous and i cant seem to stop it. the thing is now i am so sick and tired of fighting, in every aspect of my life that im too tired. i just want to give up.
I just wanted to talk to someone as ive not really got anyone i can talk to about this. I wish it would just go away so i could enjoy the good things i have in my life.
Thanks for reading this...x