New - hello

[lowandsad]

Good Morning, Hi thought I would search the net for some support. It looks a fab site. I am currently suffering from depression/anxiety and very very low self esteem. I hate the way it makes me feel, the wanting to hurt myself. the wishing I would not wake up, the total frusstration at my situation and not being able to change it and I mean my personal situation - relationship wise, where i live and money!!< the way I feel very angry with such strong feelings and just wanted to say and shout "GO AWAY EVERYONE LEAVE ME ALONG" - I have felt like this on and off for 6 years and its like its reaching a point now that is leaving me very very low. I look back and see what I was and look now and see what I have become - and then I think have I become that do other people see me as that - do my close friends see that ?? I hide things very well - if I open up I think that this will just confirm what people have thought of me that I am weak and stupid - theres the low low self esteem coming back!!

Thats all really - phew got that off my chest!!:weep:

[diane07]

Hi lowandsad

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[EvaSunshine78]

Hi, I joined here last night and like you I dont tend to open up about my problems. I just cant do it. I am in an unhappy relationship, I hate where I live, I have no money, I am struggling and with that I fight my own issues in my head, anxiety, depression, OCD, stress and sometimes I wander why I get up and carry on, but I do. I get surges of anger inside that just want to tell everyone to leave me alone but I never do, I smile and put on a front because I am too scared of facing how I truly feel. I am alone most of the time and have no friends, and most people (womens esp) tend not to like me. I am pretty and still young and don't have low self esteem, but I feel like I am just wasted sometimes and that's horrible.
I hope you find support and find friends here. Take Care and keep fighting. I believe that everyone will find their way to recovery.xx

[lowandsad]

I am so trying to stay positive - trouble is - I know that the situation I am in will not just go - it's going to take time and I know that the way I am feeling is due to the situatin that I am in . I read loads of stuff and it tends to point to one thing stay away from any situation that makes you feel anxious easier said than done. I can change some things for sure - but how do I work with it when feeling so pent up and anxious. Doing more excercise trying to get my natural endorphins working. I would like to sleep better - any ideas - would be happy to take a mild sleeping tablet - just to aid this for me - ?

thanks for your postings:unsure:

[Eternity]

Hi
Welcome to the site. I joined here a few months ago and couldn't have got through some very difficult times without the lovely people here. I would tend to be like you also, keep things in a lot, good at putting on a front and one of the problems with this is that you tend to become the person everyone else comes to with their problems and sometimes it's just too much. If you do be open with your friends about how you feel, if they are decent friends, they will be glad to help and be there for you. Plus you always have your friends on here.
Love
Tina xxx

[lowandsad]

Thanks Tina,

This is on going to be honest -I think - trouble with me and all the stuff going on in my head - it pulls on the low self esteem all the time - constantly looking back - I am an OK person have friends /family people seem to like me - I misx well but then when things go wrong and I revert back and pull on a situation that perhaps made me feel bad. Why?? It's pants and I need to change this - flippin easier to do a couple of marathons in a row I would say!!

Little steps that what I say

x

[Eternity]

Ah I know, it's so hard and seems to be an uphill battle all the time. Are you on any medication?

[lowandsad]

No not currently . Was on Citalopram some time back for 6 months it made no difference - I know the situation that I am in is elevating my feelings of anxiety/low esteem and restlessness and the inability to concentrate. I guess I would welcome a medication that would take the edge of all of this -even aid my sleep - although I can get to sleep but would like peacefull sleep. I feel that hyponotherpy would be good as have had this years back but can't afford it - can you get this on NHS??

My financial situation/personal relationship is something that worries me - and of course in life sometimes this area does not go to plan

-(THIS IS THE RATIONAL PERSON TALKING) - - "it happens and so you just have to crack on - it does not change you - people do not view you as a lesser person".

Ah but the me person low self esteem thinks every one will thinks "Ah its a shame poor old _ _ _ " I don't want that. I know I need to change my thought pattern - turn that thougth around - I know its possible I am human and I can change - I would like to try hyponotherpy and maybe some councelling - any way thats more of my chest for now - x