MrIan
12-06-11, 20:17
Well it feels a bit like that for me. Hi, I'm Ian, I joined ages ago but this is my first post.
I used to be quite depressed, but actually prior to that I was shy, experienced a lot of social anxiety and was just generally unhappy. The social anxiety would manifest itself in many ways. Walking through a shopping centre I would feel as if everyone was looking at me. This would affect my gait as my legs tensed up which made me feel even more self conscious.
I'm tall, which is great, but I also remember being at concerts or clubs and feeling as if everyone was looking at me, especially if I danced.
So then there were years of depression which I treated myself with alcohol until I eventually got some proper treatment. Which brings us to now.
I'm largely over the depression. It still pops up sometimes, I have work to do on my thoughts and the paths they choose. But what is now getting me and actually feels like it can bring back the depression is some mad anxiety.
I get anxious at odd times, sometimes there's some stress involved, but quite often it's when I'm left to my own devices. Just before bed is a good one (Is there an insomnia sub forum?) I'll be thinking about something, and then the anxious feeling will hit me. It may be more of a panic attack, but it feels entirely in my head and lasts for a few seconds. The feeling is a bit like this.
Imagine you went to sleep and woke up. When you woke up you realised that somehow this was the end of your life, you'd got really old and were about to die. You were alone and literally about to die. That's the feeling. It's totally unrelated to what ever I'm thinking about or what ever I'm being angsty about.
It's kind of like the exact opposite to the feeling after an orgasm and can feel drained of energy and kind of upset. It's not depression it's just sadness but I don't want one leading to the other.
Thanks for listening, I really just wanted to put it down in words somewhere that people may understand.
Ian
I used to be quite depressed, but actually prior to that I was shy, experienced a lot of social anxiety and was just generally unhappy. The social anxiety would manifest itself in many ways. Walking through a shopping centre I would feel as if everyone was looking at me. This would affect my gait as my legs tensed up which made me feel even more self conscious.
I'm tall, which is great, but I also remember being at concerts or clubs and feeling as if everyone was looking at me, especially if I danced.
So then there were years of depression which I treated myself with alcohol until I eventually got some proper treatment. Which brings us to now.
I'm largely over the depression. It still pops up sometimes, I have work to do on my thoughts and the paths they choose. But what is now getting me and actually feels like it can bring back the depression is some mad anxiety.
I get anxious at odd times, sometimes there's some stress involved, but quite often it's when I'm left to my own devices. Just before bed is a good one (Is there an insomnia sub forum?) I'll be thinking about something, and then the anxious feeling will hit me. It may be more of a panic attack, but it feels entirely in my head and lasts for a few seconds. The feeling is a bit like this.
Imagine you went to sleep and woke up. When you woke up you realised that somehow this was the end of your life, you'd got really old and were about to die. You were alone and literally about to die. That's the feeling. It's totally unrelated to what ever I'm thinking about or what ever I'm being angsty about.
It's kind of like the exact opposite to the feeling after an orgasm and can feel drained of energy and kind of upset. It's not depression it's just sadness but I don't want one leading to the other.
Thanks for listening, I really just wanted to put it down in words somewhere that people may understand.
Ian