New to this. Anxious and feeling down.

[Nicah]

Hey. I'm new to this.
I cant cope with feeling anxious and panicked anymore!! I'm only 19 and I feel as if I'm going to be feeling like this for the rest of my life! I do have a heart condition although I have had an ECG a few times in the past 2 weeks and my heart is normal (for me). I have a beautiful 10 month old baby girl and I cannot understand why I'm feeling like this! All day everyday I concentrate on my breathing and most of the time I feel I'm not breathing properly.. I often get dizzy from concentrating on my breathing so much. I also have a HUGE fear of dying, I've only started feeling like this since 2 weeks ago. I am terrified most nights of going to sleep and not wakening up, not being able to see my baby ever again. Eventually I do sleep but only to wake up the next morning feeling exactly the same. I've been to the doctors and not once have I felt I could mention this fear/anxiety/panic, I'm scared incase they think I'm crazy! Anyone else feel like this? Any replies would be very much appreciated :blush:

[diane07]

Hi Nicah

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Merewyn]

Hi Nicah,
Having a baby is very stressful and may have triggered your underlying tendency to anxiety. You might also be suffering from post natal depression.
Please go to your GP and tell him, or if you don't feel able to, please speak to your Health Visitor she should be able to help you. Neither will think you stupid - lots of women feel very anxious or depressed after the birth of a baby.
On a positive note...given time and sympathetic help you will get better.


Merewyn (retired Midwife & Health Visitor)

[Klonoa]

I agree with Merewyn!

I can also sympathize, much of my anxiety comes from something happening to me that I won't be able to look after my son (2). I never worried about dying or being sick until he came along, the responsibility that comes with being a parent and insuring someone else's welfare is a pretty hefty weight sometimes.

I'm glad your heart turned out to be doing fine, your baby is almost 1 and you've almost reached an important milestone together! Don't forget to congratulate yourself (no, really!). She is lucky to have a good mummy who cares about being in her future.

The doctors will not think you are crazy, rather I think they will be glad that you are taking steps to making your life better for yourself and your daughter.

[Nicah]

Thanks for the replies.
Merewyn - I never see the same doctor at my local practice, I always have to make emergency appointments as it can sometimes take weeks to get an appointment with my usual doctor. I rarely see my health visitor, only when my daughter is getting her injections. But thanks for the advice I will make an appointment to see a doctor and explain how I'm feeling.

Klonoa - I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this and I agree with you when you said "much of my anxiety comes from something happening to me that I won't be able to look after my son" I know that my daughter would be safe if anything did happen to me, its just that feeling of doubt in the back of my head. I will let my doctors know how I'm feeling but already knowing I'm not the only one has helped a lot! Thank you

[Klonoa]

Great job :) I'm really glad you're going to do it.

I think as mummies there is a lot of pressure (both from society and ourselves) to be there no matter what, but all we can do is our best.

A while ago I bought a small handmade journal and I have been writing advice/thoughts on all kinds of different subjects when they come to me. I plan to give it to my son when he's 16. Or if something happens to me before then, he will always have some kind of guidance from me even if I'm no longer with him. If not, well I can see him roll his eyes and tell me how silly I am :P

[lowandsad]

:flowers:The minute you become a mother - you tend to think more about your health - up until that point - most likely didn't give a hook - but the fact that you are now there to protect and provide - it is soooo common for mums to give thought to their being - just the thought of not being there - but it is common - many mums go through this.

Please please speak with your Dr/health clinic - even if it gives you a small amount of relief from this horrid anxiety /panic - you must have some time with your baby without this taking control. Your health visitor or just pop into your clinic where you would get baby weighed - speak with someone if you don't feel comfrotable with them then find someone who you do feel comfortable with - or even e mail them and ask for a home visit if possible.

You are not alone it is very common . Make sure you get plenty of daylight/sunshine enjoy just strolling with your baby - please post back and let us know how you are getting on.

[Nicah]

lowandsad - I completely agree, there's a lot of added pressure because I am a single mum too, (I still live with my parents so I do get a lot of help). I've only recently felt like this after a week of concentrating on my breathing, that seemed to start it all off. I'm just so happy I found this site as I don't feel alone in this anymore, my friends don't really understand how I'm feeling they just think its silly I suppose..

Everytime I think of ringing the doctor I get nervous, I really do feel like I'm bringing it on myself. Yesterday I kept busy all day going walks, shopping ect, but as soon as I got my baby to sleep anxiety just fell over me, I watched tv for as long as I could then as soon as I got tired I felt like I couldn't go to sleep incase I would die. I kept wakening up, and feeling like I was gasping for air.. When I woke up this morning of course I felt silly for not going to sleep sooner as I was so tired, but I know tonight is just going to be the same thing. I know I need to talk to someone because this won't fix itself. I absolutely hate this feeling and I'm also terrified of getting depressed over it.