New to site but not to anxiety.....

[MinnieMouse]

Hi

I am 37 years old and have been viewing this site for some months and am so glad I have found people who understand the world of anxiety! I apologise if I waffle.... my anxiety all began when I got a post natal thyroid condition almost three years ago. I kept feeling faint so was worried about doing so- especially in public - as to what would happen to my daughter. I would literally look around for someone who looked decent to look after her incase I fell. I was treated for the thyroid condition and was also given citalopram which I weaned off and haven't taken for some time. In the following months I had repeated blood tests as felt like the condition was coming back but all were normal. My anxiety has recently come back with a vengeance and has morphed into Health Anxiety. My dad died five years ago - only five months after diagnosis having previously been very fit. The five year anniversary seems to have triggered something as although I grieved I don't think I did so properly as I got married 10 weeks after his death and within the next two years I had moved house, changed jobs, had a baby, lived in a building site (house renovations) and been ill. I now have almost a daily battle with numbness, tremors, irritability, feeling faint, sinus problems, (what I believe to be) silent migraines. I would love to have another child but can't even entertain the idea with this constant battle. Some days I feel so detached I feel lonely. To the outside world I appear confident and popular but inside I feel like I am dying. I don't want my daughter to pick up on my weirdness as she is getting older. My husband doesn't really 'get' the extent of how I feel and to be honest I hide quite a lot. I have genuinely belived to have had a variety of illnesses my recent fears are of MS and Parkinsons as I have been displaying physical symptoms. I am going to see a neurologist later this month as migraines I suffered from years ago have come back. I also feel like my anxiety is worse leading up to my period - wonder if any other girlies feel the same?? I have been in limbo waiting for this neuro appointment and just hope my symptoms are 'just anxiety' - a phrase I don't like at all as there is nothing just about it. In terms of treatment I see a CBT therapist, do yoga weekly and use 5HTP and Rhodiola Rosea. I am even going to an allergy specialist today as diet can affect anxiety. I am desperate to get better. I feel like I could and should be a better mum, wife, daughter, sister and friend but anxiety has consumed me!! Hope we all have a good day today! xxx:yesyes:

[nomorepanic]

Hi MinnieMouse

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[MardyBum]

welcome to the site.. you sound very much like me huni.

My fear is passing out and what would happen to my son if we were out and about when it happened. It is my biggest fear. I also have an other half who struggles with how to help and whats wrong with me and im also a HUGE migraine sufferer (have been since I was a teenager) I worry about my son picking up how im feeling too and know I can be a better Mammy and girlfriend as this has nearly broken my family up :weep:

If you need to chat please feel free to PM me.. ive just set up a diary in the social anxiety section and there is another member there who also has our fears so you are not alone.

on the plus side I have beat this before and at my worst wouldnt leave my house for well over a year so WE CAN DO THIS!

[MinnieMouse]

Hi Mardy Bum - your words not mine...

Thanks for your reply. Sounds like you have been having a mare too. Very reassured that I am not alone - I was when in the middle of Tesco the other day and was convinced I was going to pass out. I nearly drove myself to the nearest A & E! How old is your son? My daughter is almost 3. When I was really bad I if I made it to the petrol station down my road - about 8 houses away - I was chuffed with myself. I used to almost use my daughter's pram as a zimmer frame for support! I will definitely check out your diary.

MMx

[MardyBum]

My son is 2 and the light of my life..my whole world..

I always remember last time I was poorly and watching out the window and seeing the world going by and people doing normal things, shopping, walking dogs etc and crying as I wanted that... its not something I take for granted :weep:

My local shop is 5 mins walk (thats to get there and back home lol) and some days I can do it with no problems BUT find i struggle more with my son with me as like you panic about what to do with him if im to faint.

Have you spoken to the dr about how your feeling or taking any meds? x

[MinnieMouse]

I know exactly what you mean. I look at people doing the most mundane of things and get jealous and think about the days when anxiety just didn't feature in my world. I don't feel very supported by my GP - she's very nice but she tells me to do CBT relax etc and I do all that. I feel like I've been put into the 'anxiety box' so am not taken seriously regarding symptoms that could be unrelated to anxiety. I go to yoga and an exercise class one night a week and have moments when I feel strange there too and I also see a therapist for CBT but the anxiety springs up suddenly. I take propranolol as and when and I also take 5HTP (herbal relaxant) and that helps. I just hate the waking up and not knowing what kind of day I am going to have. I've just been to an allergy specialist and he's arranged for a couple of blood tests and a gut fermintation test (!!) to do with yeast. I then have to go on an extreme food elimination diet for two weeks to see if there is anything contributing to my problems. It looks very restricted but will try anything to get better. I looked n the form I have to send off and he's put 'anxiety and CFS' (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) which is something I haven't considered I've got but is quite interesting....Will let you know how I get on. Was thinking about you and I and that other lady who has got the same issue with feeling faint. Maybe we should share information about the births we had as there may be a common thread? We may be similar in age or had similar cravings in pregnancy or something. It's just interesting that we all feel like that postnatally. Also, one of the tests this allergy guy wants me to have is a 'serum ferritin' which is an iron test which would make sense as I could be anaemic. Apparently a full blood count doesn't cover this type of iron.. May be worth checking yourself out too?
MMX

[MardyBum]

aww I really hope that maybe you can find some answers from the tests etc that you have had today.. its very interesting!! I havent even looked into CFS but will have a look into while my son is eating (the only time he doesnt seem to need me at the min *rolls eyes*)

When I first had this I was 25 and hadnt given birth but same fears BUT I had been pregnant and lost so maybe there could be something with hormones in there that changed?

My Pregnancy was medically pretty straight forward apart from suffering from SPD (still do) my labour was 7 hours in total and he ended up being assisted with vontouse (sp) where I was also cut (lost ALOT) of blood and was stitched too tight Ouch!! also now suffer with very bad IBS, trapped wind and heartburn during and after pregnancy

[MinnieMouse]

Thanks for your reply - very sorry to hear about your previous pregnancy but interesting that it could be hormone related. Just had a 'discussion' with my other half. I hadn't told him about my appointment with the allergy guy as he isn't very understanding of my condition and -as predicted he thinks it's a load of old tosh about the diet. He doesn't think outside the box whereas I will try anything to get better. I am still going to do it without his support and hopefully will lose a few pounds too. My pregnancy went 15 days overdue so was induced - very long labour and I was also cut and had ventouse and stitches.My sister was there too and she said it was like Jack the Ripper's slaughterhouse so presume I lost a lot of blood... mmmm.... interesting....thinking about the iron thing. I felt fine in pregnancy except I had one swollen ankle which they thought could have been a DVT but ended up being how the baby was lying. Off to my exercise class which starts off with me feeling like I want to run out! MMX