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Ktm87
14-06-11, 07:49
Hello, this is my first post. Im so glad to of come across this site and i have now read some posts on here which cheered me up after an absolutly horrible day yesterday.

i didnt really know in what forum to post this, so if it is in the wrong forum, please move it

I will try to keep it as short as i can, but i will try to be as concise as i can

I am a 23 year old male from London, i have lived here all my life.

My girlfriend is from and lives in Chelmsford Essex, i often go to stay at her place.

Yesterday, we was in Chelmsford town, doing some shopping and looking around as we do a few times when i come down to visit. At about 3pm, in Clinton Cards whilest looking at Me to You gifts, i felt faint and scared. I recognised it as a panic attack as i have had plenty before. But this was very weird.

It felt like i was in danger, like i had to get away from there. I quickly walked out of the shop, leaving my girlfriend and not saying a word. and eventually running to the closest park. It was fairly quiet and deserted and it calmed me down.

It took me 2 hours to go home though. My girlfriend was rather frustrated as she didnt know what was wrong and why i did this. But the whole time i just couldnt bare the thought of going anywhere near the town, or back on the bus. We ended up walking home which takes 45 minutes whereas a bus takes 5-10 minutes.

This isnt the first time this has happened if im honest, but its the first time it has happened with someone as a witness. And now im scared. I know ive had this problem for a while, and ive always been able to hide it. Whenever i felt in a panic, i would go somewhere to calm down, and then meet them later.

When i got home, my gf was very supportive as she could see i was visibly upset and shaken, but she kept wanting to know why i acted like i did.

I have never told a doctor about this, No one knows but me. I still havent told my gf about previous times. Im very worried that she wont believe me as we have now been together just over 4 years and we have been to many public places.

It seems to be happening more frequent than it used to be, and now im starting to really worry

Looking up online it seems closest to agoraphobia, but i may be being ignorant of its full meaning but at the same time, it doesnt seem to be agoraphobia.

Open spaces to me are fine, i love nature, i love the park.

I will list the past few times i can remember feeling very anxious like i was yesterday, and hopefully someone reading this can help.

Yesterday in chelmsford Town, in a shop, not very busy, few people around.

last friday, at my girlfriends house, her mother and stepfather are away on holiday, and me, her and her little brother are currently staying here. Their dad came round to hang out with them, and while watching tv, i felt uncomfortable and went upstairs, this has since happened again on sunday, but not quite so bad. I have a decent relationship with my gfs dad, we have had a disagreement in the past, but that has since blown over and we talk and joke a lot now. But i feel rather rude when he comes round, and them 3 are downstairs with each other, and im sat upstairs on my own. My gf doesnt see her dad that often, so i dont badger her to stay with me as 1: she doesnt know my problems and 2: i dont want her thinking im clingy as we spend a huge amount of time together anyway.

wednesday the 1st of june, going for a blood test at a hospital in london, waiting there made me very uncomfortable and when i finally got out, i ran home. this was in london

in the park walking my dog, shortly after some young boys asked to stroke my dog, she is a very very adorable Husky and always gets attention.

at work at the start of may, i was a barman working for my parents pub, i have since left this job and am now unemployed and am not claiming JSA or any other type of benefit. My parents were very angry at me quitting and not going on benefits.

Those are the past 5 times that are significant and where i remember feeling trapped or lost. But mainly anxious to get home, or to somewhere safe.

So now that ive explain that, where do i go from here. I know i probably need to tell my doctor, But i have no idea of where im going to get money from. I have been selling bits and bobs on ebay but only for dirt cheap. Useless items hanging round my house.

Also, i cannot bare the thought of me just sitting at home all day. I like to go out, i like to socialize. i love to go shopping or to the cinema and i refuse to give these things up, these things along with my gf and my dog make me happy to be alive, along with nature and animals, but i fear its my defiance that is bringing about more panic and anxiaty attacks. which i know will not be good for me in the long run.

Also, i know i should probably tell my gf and family, but my family can be quite judgemental, my gf too sometimes. They can be very ignorant about many things. Which is why i very rarely have ever confided in my parents. When i broke up with my first girlfriend at the age of 17, i didnt really want to get out of bed, and their advice to me was that these things happen and to grow up and get over it. Luckily i had a friend that came around, put her arms round me and made things better just by being there for me, and by being willing to take my phone calls as and when i needed.

What scares me is that no one will believe me. My Doctor, my family, my gf, or even the job center if i choose to apply for benefits of some sort, but at this stage.

Because i am ok sometimes...does that change things? Because i can go one or two days going out the house, going to a few shops, going to the cinema, or walking in the park, does that mean these things are natural.

I really dont know what to do. Thank you for reading this huge post, any help you can give me is most welcome. thank you

Kevin

pinkdove
14-06-11, 10:43
Hi Kevin, Reading your post was so familiar to me, as i have had all of these feelings too, at first i used to hide it and woul hope no one noticed, but that was exhausting, i too thought i had agraphobia, as i stopped going out for fear of another attack, however, i did eventually go for help to my gp, and told my family how i felt, and to my surprise both the gp and my family were very supportive. What you are feeling is the symptoms of anxiety, which can come and go, and you are not alone, many of us have these symptoms, and you will hopefully get some good advice on this site, but please speak to someone, it will help, you are suffering with stress and anxiety, and you might just need some short term help. please take care, and good luck xx :hugs:

rubbisheeny
14-06-11, 10:59
Hi Kevin, I read your post and thought back to when I had my first panic attacks when I was about 19, I honestly believe that if some one had given me a couple of books by Dr Claire Weekes "Self help for your nerves" and any of her audio books at the time I wouldnt have suffered for so long. Please order them from the library - they are a bit dated (she talks about 'nervous illness') but they are so helpful in explaining whats happening to your body and thought patterns when you are anxious and what you need to do to stop the cycle.
Well done for talking about it, your not alone and your not going mad (I have had many a panic attack in Chelmsford town centre!)
Talk to your doctor and your girlfriend/friends/family - Good luck, and please get those books.

rosi
14-06-11, 13:46
Hi, I know Chelmsford town centre well, in fact was there yesterday. :)

I used to have panic attacks like that and in fact I still have little whoozy moments in crowded shops but I grit my teeth and go on. Thats something I learnt from the Claire Weekes books. Basically you say 'F**k you, body, go on then, collapse, see if I care' or 'ok, I'll face the danger head on, c'mon do your worst' although Miss Weekes would never have used such language. You just stare your body down, if that makes any sense. 99 times out of 100 you will not collapse, your mind will not do that too you. Should your mind decide to play tricks on you and you do collapse, then you collapse, people help you, others will walk by and ignore you, you pick yourself up and get on with life. You collapsed, so what? Its really about getting control of your lying, cheating mind. Did that make any sense?

I still have mini panic attacks but I see them for what they are now, not the precusors to sudden doom, just my mind going a little bit out of control.

Ktm87
14-06-11, 17:43
Hello, and thanks for the replies.

Pinkdove, if it is just anxiety, which after readind your post i hope it is and not agoraphobia, will it get better? right now it just seems to unreal to be true. We was meant to go back into town today and i flat out refused and have spent all day in my gfs room again :(

I will go see my gp when i am back in london, but im just so worried about the future. What about my dog, i love to walk her, it wouldnt be fair on her to be couped up inside allthe time, yet id be heartbroken to give her up.

What about a job, i quit my last because i couldnt bare it anymore, and i didnt mention in my first post but i also quit a job at primark in 2008 and HMV in 2005 both oxford street branches. Yet i have worked in some other retail environments and been ok, and retail is the only skill or experience i have, in an age where experience is necessary.


To Rosi and Rubbisheeny, thank you for suggesting the self help works of dr claire, but im not a fan of so called "self help". I have no problem with others liking them, and if they work then all the better, but they just aren't for me. I dont believe in them. A family member was big on some self help books for some aspects and the problem still persists. That is not why i dont believe in them...i didnt believe in them before she got the books and tapes. Its just not for me. But thank you for thinking about it and suggesting it.

pinkdove
14-06-11, 20:57
Hi Kevin,I am not medically quallified, but i have had all of your symptoms, and they were caused by stress and anxiety, i did get to the stage where i would not go out, but when i got help and medication, it slowly got better, and i went out a little at a tme, taking the dog a short walk, then a little further untill i was able to go to the shops, and eventually out for a meal. i did also used self help dr claire weekes, and relaxation cd's, as i so much wanted to get better, please get some help, you can get better if you open up and speak to your family and gp. take care xx

shoegal
14-06-11, 21:08
Panic attacks can strike at any time and in any place. Agoraphobia is a fear of being outside of you safety zone and having panic attacks in places where you feel it would not be easy to escape ie on a bus, in a shop, in a queue, in a waiting room etc. If you find those situations difficult then I would say that you may be starting to develop agoraphobia. If on the other hand, panic attacks in those places do NOT make you avoid them, then you may be having spontaneous panic attacks. Either way I would consult your GP because if you don't deal with this NOW you could very well end up housebound like me. Good luck. :flowers:

anx mum
14-06-11, 21:11
Hello, this is my first post. Im so glad to of come across this site and i have now read some posts on here which cheered me up after an absolutly horrible day yesterday.

i didnt really know in what forum to post this, so if it is in the wrong forum, please move it

I will try to keep it as short as i can, but i will try to be as concise as i can

I am a 23 year old male from London, i have lived here all my life.

My girlfriend is from and lives in Chelmsford Essex, i often go to stay at her place.

Yesterday, we was in Chelmsford town, doing some shopping and looking around as we do a few times when i come down to visit. At about 3pm, in Clinton Cards whilest looking at Me to You gifts, i felt faint and scared. I recognised it as a panic attack as i have had plenty before. But this was very weird.

It felt like i was in danger, like i had to get away from there. I quickly walked out of the shop, leaving my girlfriend and not saying a word. and eventually running to the closest park. It was fairly quiet and deserted and it calmed me down.

It took me 2 hours to go home though. My girlfriend was rather frustrated as she didnt know what was wrong and why i did this. But the whole time i just couldnt bare the thought of going anywhere near the town, or back on the bus. We ended up walking home which takes 45 minutes whereas a bus takes 5-10 minutes.

This isnt the first time this has happened if im honest, but its the first time it has happened with someone as a witness. And now im scared. I know ive had this problem for a while, and ive always been able to hide it. Whenever i felt in a panic, i would go somewhere to calm down, and then meet them later.

When i got home, my gf was very supportive as she could see i was visibly upset and shaken, but she kept wanting to know why i acted like i did.

I have never told a doctor about this, No one knows but me. I still havent told my gf about previous times. Im very worried that she wont believe me as we have now been together just over 4 years and we have been to many public places.

It seems to be happening more frequent than it used to be, and now im starting to really worry

Looking up online it seems closest to agoraphobia, but i may be being ignorant of its full meaning but at the same time, it doesnt seem to be agoraphobia.

Open spaces to me are fine, i love nature, i love the park.

I will list the past few times i can remember feeling very anxious like i was yesterday, and hopefully someone reading this can help.

Yesterday in chelmsford Town, in a shop, not very busy, few people around.

last friday, at my girlfriends house, her mother and stepfather are away on holiday, and me, her and her little brother are currently staying here. Their dad came round to hang out with them, and while watching tv, i felt uncomfortable and went upstairs, this has since happened again on sunday, but not quite so bad. I have a decent relationship with my gfs dad, we have had a disagreement in the past, but that has since blown over and we talk and joke a lot now. But i feel rather rude when he comes round, and them 3 are downstairs with each other, and im sat upstairs on my own. My gf doesnt see her dad that often, so i dont badger her to stay with me as 1: she doesnt know my problems and 2: i dont want her thinking im clingy as we spend a huge amount of time together anyway.

wednesday the 1st of june, going for a blood test at a hospital in london, waiting there made me very uncomfortable and when i finally got out, i ran home. this was in london

in the park walking my dog, shortly after some young boys asked to stroke my dog, she is a very very adorable Husky and always gets attention.

at work at the start of may, i was a barman working for my parents pub, i have since left this job and am now unemployed and am not claiming JSA or any other type of benefit. My parents were very angry at me quitting and not going on benefits.

Those are the past 5 times that are significant and where i remember feeling trapped or lost. But mainly anxious to get home, or to somewhere safe.

So now that ive explain that, where do i go from here. I know i probably need to tell my doctor, But i have no idea of where im going to get money from. I have been selling bits and bobs on ebay but only for dirt cheap. Useless items hanging round my house.

Also, i cannot bare the thought of me just sitting at home all day. I like to go out, i like to socialize. i love to go shopping or to the cinema and i refuse to give these things up, these things along with my gf and my dog make me happy to be alive, along with nature and animals, but i fear its my defiance that is bringing about more panic and anxiaty attacks. which i know will not be good for me in the long run.

Also, i know i should probably tell my gf and family, but my family can be quite judgemental, my gf too sometimes. They can be very ignorant about many things. Which is why i very rarely have ever confided in my parents. When i broke up with my first girlfriend at the age of 17, i didnt really want to get out of bed, and their advice to me was that these things happen and to grow up and get over it. Luckily i had a friend that came around, put her arms round me and made things better just by being there for me, and by being willing to take my phone calls as and when i needed.

What scares me is that no one will believe me. My Doctor, my family, my gf, or even the job center if i choose to apply for benefits of some sort, but at this stage.

Because i am ok sometimes...does that change things? Because i can go one or two days going out the house, going to a few shops, going to the cinema, or walking in the park, does that mean these things are natural.

I really dont know what to do. Thank you for reading this huge post, any help you can give me is most welcome. thank you

Kevin

Hi kevin this site will really help you. Like yourself i suffer with anxiety and panic attacks wouldnt wish them on anyone there awful. Normally get mine in a crowded place like a shopping centre. Nooone can understand unless u have been there ive been having panic since 17 im now 32 its been on and off but my last bout was xmas. Might be worth talking about panic to ur gfriend cos u do need support:hugs: