Until it sleeps
14-06-11, 11:32
Hello, yet again I'm suffering a major depressive episode of fear of catching HIV. I've had OCD for nearly 20 years. I would have thought that I'd see and recognise this pattern of behaviour, which would allow me to just think 'It's that thing again, no need to worry' and yet as you know...it seems so real and this could be the one to get me. Sometimes it's a sexual concern, and others it's because I think that there is a possibility that I have been deliberetely injected with HIV. I've had over 20 HIV tests. Each negative result leads to some other concern to enter my mind: Pestering my mind to get another test, just in case... The gaps between each concern get smaller and smaller, the fear each time gets worse or maybe at the same level, which is bad anyway. I'm scared.