Sude
14-06-11, 12:27
Hi everyone
I am feeling really sad and depressed, I am so scared of what if s :(
I posted a msg here before that I had a low risk incident with a guy more than 2 years ago. I wasnt worried about it considering i was careful not to do anything that would put me on the risk for HIV UNTIL i found out that he was a jerk and stopped calling me probably because i refused to have sex with him. This made me think that he probably had so many partners before and had sex with so many girls and i even went into thinking too extreme that maybe he drugged me the night we stayed together ( he cooked me dinner) and did stuff to me while sleeping but i dont remember it or i can tell myself that i was a little tipsy we took couple shots and a glass of wine and i did something mistakenly. ( I KNOW THAT I WAS aware of everything remember everything but still ;((((((((((( )
SO I got tested after the incident more than 3 months later and it was negative i was fine until i saw at a doctor s forum that the rapid tests sometime give false negative this made me feel SO MAD and anxiety came back with more power and because this happened so long ago now i cant remember everything and my mind play tricks into thinking me that things actually happened :(((((((((((((((((((((((
I will have to get tested again because i am getting married soon and i m soooo scared that this will be positive i wont be able to get married and my whole family will know :((
please helpppp:weep:
I am feeling really sad and depressed, I am so scared of what if s :(
I posted a msg here before that I had a low risk incident with a guy more than 2 years ago. I wasnt worried about it considering i was careful not to do anything that would put me on the risk for HIV UNTIL i found out that he was a jerk and stopped calling me probably because i refused to have sex with him. This made me think that he probably had so many partners before and had sex with so many girls and i even went into thinking too extreme that maybe he drugged me the night we stayed together ( he cooked me dinner) and did stuff to me while sleeping but i dont remember it or i can tell myself that i was a little tipsy we took couple shots and a glass of wine and i did something mistakenly. ( I KNOW THAT I WAS aware of everything remember everything but still ;((((((((((( )
SO I got tested after the incident more than 3 months later and it was negative i was fine until i saw at a doctor s forum that the rapid tests sometime give false negative this made me feel SO MAD and anxiety came back with more power and because this happened so long ago now i cant remember everything and my mind play tricks into thinking me that things actually happened :(((((((((((((((((((((((
I will have to get tested again because i am getting married soon and i m soooo scared that this will be positive i wont be able to get married and my whole family will know :((
please helpppp:weep: