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Baster9
14-06-11, 13:19
Hello ALL,
I would like to write long post that will explain everything about me having anxiety and depression so some of you guys can help me and the others can feel some relief because they will know they are having anxiety if you can confirm.

OK here it is the story.

Since about a year ago, whenever I played football (soccer) I thought I had some hart problems, they weren't so intense at first but after a while I was checking my heart rate with my palm on my neck/my chest during a football game. After a while a was checking my heart rate during every activity that was involved with running or exercising. And about 5-6 months ago I was playing soccer when I was constantly checking my heart which means I was in a constant worry, so after the game I faced tachycardia and I had my first panic attack. My father said to me that I have nothing to worry about, my heart is normal and everything and that this was caused by my everyday thinking of having something wrong with my heart. I said OK and couple of days after that I played football again with the though that nothing is wrong with my heart and I just checked myself once and that was it, I was fine, than again I played 2-3 days later but that though of having nothing wrong disappeared and I was constantly checking myself again and the after the game I faced tachycardia again and also a panic attack, I was shaking and my chest hurt I though I will have a heart attack or something that will make my heart stop, than my mom got me a diazepam to calm down and I did after a while, and I did not when to a doctor to check myself since I did not played again, but I know that my heart is fine because I've checked it on a doctor. After this period which was 5-6 months, I stopped playing football because I was scared that something might happen to me, also I stopped exercising , it is like I lost the joy of playing it even it was my favorite thing to do, I JUST LOVED PLAYING FOOTBALL, I loved playing football more THAN ANYTHING ELSE. Then other symptoms occurred but I never told my parents and I was seeking by myself on internet trying to find answers to my condition and all my symptoms were leading to anxiety. I started to do not want to go out because of the fear, feeling like I am gonna pass out and that something is wrong with me, I feel dizzy and "not me" or feeling I am in a dream (unreal feeling), I have diarrhea and I am bleaching a lot. All of these symptoms are leading to anxiety... I just wanted to be sure if I have one, so I wrote on some forums and get the same answer - Baster you are suffering from anxiety 100%.
Then I seek for more info about anxiety on the internet and realized that this can not hurt you in anyway so I felt a very big relief.

I was getting a lot of anxiety symptoms and I was really scared to tell my parents because they are very panicky and will stress me out even more. But as the time was passing by I had some serious and scary symptoms like depersonalization, derealization, got some thoughts like - what if I hurt someone or myself, what if I go crazy and stuff like that so I finally I told my parents. I told them I wanted to see psychiatrist to tell me what is going on really. I went to one and it was bad session that only last for 20 minutes and he told me everything I already knew (basic anxiety info) and the end of it he gave me xanax 12.5 mg x 3 times a day. I was a little bit better from it, my mind was relaxed and it was fine for a week, then I got some symptoms from time to time again. After that I went back on the pitch, playing football but I got some really dizzines feeling and feeling like I'm lost during it, so I asked a friend that was suffering from anxiety in the past and he told me that this is because I'm still subconsiously scared about my heart. I've had many wired and odd feeling that I can't even remember now, so as today I'm fine but the thing is I still get some symptoms and I really feel like I'm losing it (that I will not think rationally and will turn mad or something), also I'm fighting love depression, I'm feeling from inside that something is really bothering me, it's killing me from the inside and I'm almost sure that feeling is for not having the girl I'm into, I think about her all the time and I can't even tell her how I feel because this anxiety and depression things are destroying my self esteem. I got constant worries about everything and I DON NOT FEEL scared. So is it at all possible that the worries are giving me the symptoms? Also I've read that anxiety is coming from some kind of stress, I think mine is not having a girlfriend for quite a long time.

Actually, this is a small part of the things that have been happening to me but I can't remember all of them.

I wrote this so people can share more info to help others feel better so guys if you have any info that might help or some questions that you wanna ask please do not hesitate to post them here. So here is my main question: Can anxiety, stress and constant worries turn you some sort of crazy/mad/insane?

Thank you in advance,
Baster

juju
14-06-11, 15:02
no indeed not! a crazy person doesnt know they are crazy, also do not worry about it.
xxxxx

Baster9
16-06-11, 14:05
no indeed not! a crazy person doesnt know they are crazy, also do not worry about it.
xxxxx

Yeah you are right but still it's hard to just let it go...

Typer
16-06-11, 15:54
From your story, it sounds like your parents are not able, for whatever reason, to support you when you feel anxious. I think you are saying because they also become anxious. Do they get anxious about other things?

I am sure having a girlfriend might distract you from your worries, but I don't think not having one would cause you to have those kinds of symptoms. It sounds like you feel very alone with all the symptoms, having learned your parents cant handle them very well and the psych assessment was far too short, in my opinion, to draw any real conclusions.

Are their any other people whom you can talk to? Would your parents arrange some counselling or psychotherapy for you?

Baster9
17-06-11, 16:08
Will answer all of your post in paragraphs below.



From your story, it sounds like your parents are not able, for whatever reason, to support you when you feel anxious. I think you are saying because they also become anxious. Do they get anxious about other things?

You got it wrong or I put it wrong, my parents aren't getting anxious but they are overreacting even when I get sick from a flu, they are overprotective, kind of.

I am sure having a girlfriend might distract you from your worries, but I don't think not having one would cause you to have those kinds of symptoms.

Not exactly, but If you stressed out about something, you will worry about other stuff more than usual and from what I've read so far is that anxiety is caused by some stress in your life, sometimes you can assume what are you stressed about sometimes you can not. I assume that the main problem is coming from that but who knows maybe it's some other.

It sounds like you feel very alone with all the symptoms, having learned your parents cant handle them very well and the psych assessment was far too short, in my opinion, to draw any real conclusions.

Yes you are right but the hole symptoms and thoughts are leading to anxiety.

Are their any other people whom you can talk to? Would your parents arrange some counselling or psychotherapy for you?

Yes they will, I have an online friend who I talk to from time to time, and about the arranging, of course they will but I don't feel like going to one, sometimes I feel but most of the time I feel OK.



Thank you for your interest in helping me.