Need to understand this symptom

[hugs]

Hello all, I've suffered from anxiety for what will be three years this November. It started when I fell pregnant with my son and became absolutely unbearable once he was born but then it calmed down a lot (although I still suffered on a daily basis) I was able to cope very well during my second pregnancy. My daughter is now 4 weeks old and I'm starting to feel very upset again about my physical symptoms and am taking more notice of them again. I really do not want it to be like how it was last year when I was having panic attacks and thinking I was going crazy and end up in a mental institution this was extremely scary as I just love my life and family so much. If I could just understand my main symptom which triggers everything else off maybe I could be cured!! I've had CBT but I won't take medication. My initial fears from years ago were about problems with the brain so I'm very aware of my head and that's where my symptoms stem from. I get this intense pressure at the very top of my head it literally feels like my brain is swelling it is so uncomfortable and scary but I have had this everyday for almost three years, now what feeds my anxiety is the fear that one day my head will burst and i will die of a stroke or it will cause a tumour/aneurysm etc. If you do something over and over again it's bound to break one day isn't it?? I try to have some sort of control and when I feel it coming on I try to breathe through it to stop the pressure feeling going to my head but this just makes me breathe funny and my chest and back gets tight and they start to feel like they are burning. If someone was to film inside my head whilst I was getting this pressure feeling what would be seen? What is physically happening inside my head while I'm feeling this awful sensation. I need to know so I can understand it and just get over it. I get other symptoms as a result of this but they are ones I don't feel I have control over, the pressure feeling I bring on myself coz I'm always aware of my brain and trying not to think a out it which of course makes me' think about it. I had a period of losing my hair, I now have what I think might be IBS, an ulcer on my tongue and my left eye often twitches so I think these are a result of my constant worry and head pressure. I feel like I'm sending myself to an early grave and that's what's keeping the cycle going. I don't think I have any other illness other than anxiety but to me that's a major problem as I think anxiety is damaging my body and will make me die young. Can anyone out there offer me' any reassurance? X

[jill]

Hi hun :D:hugs:

It is sooo dame hard to understand anxiety, isn't it. I really feel for you right now and my heart goes out to you :hugs:

You are NOT alone with this symptom hun, the feeling like your brain is swelling or your head is going to go pop. this is NOT a nice symptom to have, although harmless, it can feel very scary? :hugs:

I have had this symptom, but not as aggressive as yours hun, at the time of having this symptom, I had other symptoms that scared me more, so this over rides any fear of this symptom.

My hubby does not have anxiety, but when going through a lot of stress, he told me he felt like the top of his head was going to go pop. At that time i was angry at him (will not go into detail ) but just said to him " welcome to the world of anxiety"

I am like you, if someone can tell me what's going on, in the sight of the symptom,any symptom, this helps me. I can myself explain most symptoms. I have done research for myself for a very long time, but there are still some symptoms, I cannot explain, so for myself, I come up with an explanation that satisfies ME. When I know there anxiety related, Mmmm lets face it hun, the anxiety list of symptoms is very long, some common, so not so common. In my dealing with anxiety, I have had many, many symptoms, I have had 2 symptoms that are not very common, eg, waking up with a hangover feeling and a smell, taste in the back of my throat nose :shrug: very strange, but again, I do come up with my own answers, which have helped me move forward.

FOR MYSELF, at the mo, I have the hangover feeling every blinkin morning, ohhh goodness me, it can feel very harsh and aggressive, I have explained things to myself but I know even though I found answers for myself, its still going to take time before it goes altogether. Yesterday it was horrendous, this morning, mild and gone all day, yeee haaa go me.

Hunny :hugs: from what I know, anxiety will feed on what you fear most,lets face it hun, who know you better than anyone, YOURSELF, you know what you fear and for you right now, its this symptom, this symptoms reminds you of your bad times, you have attached a very strong emotion to this symptom. As you say yourself, this symptom is a trigger for other anxiety to come up.

It is hard for me to explain how we deal with this. It IS learning how to reassure ourselves. For me, I just told myself that this symptom was there because there where a lot of thoughts going on in my head, I had been through a bad time, I have lots to learn and one day, the symptom WILL be gone.

I know this is dame hard for you :hugs: but try and NOT control the symptom, just let it be there, give it GOOD reason for it being there, eg, I have anxiety right now, its OK to fear this symptom, please hun, be kind to yourself, it IS ok to be scared of a symptom. give yourself permission to be scared, but also use the swish method, which is, good reason to be scared, eg, "blimey, anyone would be scared of this if they did not know what's happening, then go on to tell yourself, why its appending, eg, its anxiety related, I fear it right now, but in time, I will learn NOT to fear it, YOU DO have good reasons for this symptom to be there, you have anxiety.

I have tried many, many different ways in dealing with symptoms.

One way is NOT to let the symptom surprise you, if it happens except it, but never expect it, Mmm this is where I contradict myself LOL if it does happen, plan your thoughts before it happens, we need to try and learn reassuring statements.

If the symptom happens, give it good reason for being there, except the feeling, give yourself reassuring statement, then and only then, go and distract yourself from how you feel. find something that will totally take you mind of the symptom, Mmm when acute, this is not easy and it takes alot of hard work and practice practice, practice.

For myself, what I found, if I went into distraction right away, this is NOT listening to what my body is trying telling me, its telling me there is something wrong, (false alarm I must add) so giving yourself a reason for this symptom being there eg, " I have anxiety right now, YES, I am listening, I know I have anxiety, but this is going to take time to understand " then go and distract yourself from how you feel and distracts you from irrational thoughts, this helps little by little, moving forward does not happen over night, we have to learn to chip away at the anxiety bit by bit, in how to think, again, learn how to reassure ourselves.

Changing the way we think, is not easy, it takes a lot of hard work, time and the right support, BUT, it can be done.

Anxiety, IS NOT damaging your body, ohhh hunny, :hugs: please don't do this to yourself, it is sooo important to try and learn reassuring, ANY little changes in the way we think CAN help us move forward with time. When acute and learning to change our thoughts to more reassuring statements, IT IS sooo dame hard, there may be times when you think its not working, BUT IT DOES, but at times, Mrs anxiety will tell you its not, CHALLENGE those types of thoughts and swish them to more reassuring statements.

Write reassuring statement down, you can just focus on this one symptom, think of the symptom when it is not there, reassure yourself when its not there, plane what your thoughts are going to be.

This method may or may-not be helpful to you at this point, but I will mention it anyway, its up to you if you want to try it.
What I found helped at one point, was to hold myself within a symptom, really feel it, try soo hard to explain it to myself while in it, use the swish method while doing this, eg, Mmm this does not feel that bad acutely, finding your own reassuring thoughts WILL help you move on form this symptom,

Please don't be to hard on yourself, it is NOT easy getting off the anxiety round about.

Chip away at your anxiety, try and learn some reassuring statements regarding this symptom, I do wish I could give you a good explanation of this symptom. Because this symptom never really got a grip on me, I never went in search for one.

I can google, so I will go round the net to see if I can find an explanation for you, but as I said, with some anxiety symptoms, they are hard to know what's going on in the mind or body not much research has been done.

I do hope I have been of some help, even if its just knowing your NOT alone, I myself have not had this symptom in a long time. yours WILL go in time too hun :hugs: I know its hard for you, but you hang in there, please keep chipping away at your anxiety symptoms,

I do believe, that if you truly believe, that one day your anxiety will go, that your mind WILL find ways to do it.

I have been panic/high anxiety free for a very long time, this site helped me lots, right now, I know full well why I have symptoms, (will not go into that ) BUT I WILL sort thing, I pride myself on how much I know about anxiety/panic FOR MYSELF, as for teaching others, Mmmm thats hard.

YOU TAKE CARE :hugs:

LOVE JILL XXX