katykaty
17-06-11, 22:17
Hi, this is my first real post and I'm a little nervous about it. I don't normally talk about my panic attacks, especially not to strangers.
I'm recovering from a panic attack earlier this evening and signed up to NMP to remind myself I'm not the only one who suffers.
My panic attack tonight was all over not one, but two spiders - of which I have a ridiculous phobia of!!
My boyfriend's at work and I'm home alone, so I thought I'd pop into the kitchen round 7.30ish to make myself some tea but then I spotted an average size spider on the floor, I shrieked and ran upstairs to get some fly killer spray. I managed to get quite close to it, a feat in itself for me, and sprayed it till it stopped moving. I stepped back feeling quite proud of myself for not panicking, then the spider moved again, I dove back in with the spray and for good measure (sorry animal lovers) poured a dollop of Daz fabric softener on it - I could think of nothing else to do!!
I stepped back again feeling slightly panicked but extra proud of myself. I then noticed something moving at the side of the room and noticed a HUGE spider scurrying along the floor and under the washing machine. I screamed and began crying hysterically. I could feel myself slipping into a panic attack as my heart rate rose, my breathing became quick and shallow and I was paralysed to the spot.
Thankfully I had my mobile in my pocket so I called my mam who knows about my phobia and panic attacks. She tried to talk me through the worst of it, counting my breathing and actually reminding me to breathe at times. She then distracted me while I gradually plucked up the courage to take slow steps back away from the kitchen - I find that when I've seen a spider I can't take my eyes off where I've seen it. My mam suggested driving over to my house but as my keys were on top of the washing machine (under which the spider was hiding) I wouldn't have been able to get them to let her in, so we had to make do with just a phone call.
After 45 minutes I was fairly calm and managing to sit on the settee - normally I can't sit on soft chairs after a 'spider attack' in case the spiders come through the fabric but somehow I got the courage to.
Now it's 2 hours later and I haven't moved from my spot on the settee - my heart is still racing but I've managed to distract myself with TV and my laptop. However my legs have serious muscle cramps and I keep going dizzy. My intention before the attack was to make tea, but I always lose any appetite during an attack and it doesn't return for a few hours so tea is the last thing on my mind.
The worst thing about the whole ordeal is that I know a spider is something so insignificant - if I stood on it it would be dead, but I still can't get myself to not be scared of them, in fact scared isn't strong enough a word for what I feel!
I'm not really sure what I'm wanting from posting this but somehow just writing it all down has helped!
I'm recovering from a panic attack earlier this evening and signed up to NMP to remind myself I'm not the only one who suffers.
My panic attack tonight was all over not one, but two spiders - of which I have a ridiculous phobia of!!
My boyfriend's at work and I'm home alone, so I thought I'd pop into the kitchen round 7.30ish to make myself some tea but then I spotted an average size spider on the floor, I shrieked and ran upstairs to get some fly killer spray. I managed to get quite close to it, a feat in itself for me, and sprayed it till it stopped moving. I stepped back feeling quite proud of myself for not panicking, then the spider moved again, I dove back in with the spray and for good measure (sorry animal lovers) poured a dollop of Daz fabric softener on it - I could think of nothing else to do!!
I stepped back again feeling slightly panicked but extra proud of myself. I then noticed something moving at the side of the room and noticed a HUGE spider scurrying along the floor and under the washing machine. I screamed and began crying hysterically. I could feel myself slipping into a panic attack as my heart rate rose, my breathing became quick and shallow and I was paralysed to the spot.
Thankfully I had my mobile in my pocket so I called my mam who knows about my phobia and panic attacks. She tried to talk me through the worst of it, counting my breathing and actually reminding me to breathe at times. She then distracted me while I gradually plucked up the courage to take slow steps back away from the kitchen - I find that when I've seen a spider I can't take my eyes off where I've seen it. My mam suggested driving over to my house but as my keys were on top of the washing machine (under which the spider was hiding) I wouldn't have been able to get them to let her in, so we had to make do with just a phone call.
After 45 minutes I was fairly calm and managing to sit on the settee - normally I can't sit on soft chairs after a 'spider attack' in case the spiders come through the fabric but somehow I got the courage to.
Now it's 2 hours later and I haven't moved from my spot on the settee - my heart is still racing but I've managed to distract myself with TV and my laptop. However my legs have serious muscle cramps and I keep going dizzy. My intention before the attack was to make tea, but I always lose any appetite during an attack and it doesn't return for a few hours so tea is the last thing on my mind.
The worst thing about the whole ordeal is that I know a spider is something so insignificant - if I stood on it it would be dead, but I still can't get myself to not be scared of them, in fact scared isn't strong enough a word for what I feel!
I'm not really sure what I'm wanting from posting this but somehow just writing it all down has helped!