Worried i have Schizophrenia :-(

[Abby1]

Hello there,this may sound so silly but i have convinced myself i will get Schizophrenia,i am currently on HRT and mirtazapine 15mg. I have a lot of symptoms of Pre-Menopause,hence the HRT (have been on it for 12 days). As i feel so wierd and not myself and have been on 3 anti-depressants and nothing seems to have helped much,i have started to worry a lot (understatment) that i will get this mental illness. Also my Dad was diagnosed with it in his 40s and i am 44....Ive been to my G.P and told him my symptoms and he said the symptoms you have told me are not schizophrenia but i still worry-how silly eh. also i have 'googled' (stupid i know) schizophrenia symptoms and guess what think it sounds like some of my symptoms...like i said sounds so silly. Any advice,support will be greatly appreciated,as i have little support and the support i have are probably fed up of hearing me go on.

[Rhys1879SAFC]

Worrying about mental illnesses when you're in a state of anxiety is perfectly normal. I myself for example, started getting worked up I would develop Psychosis and start hallucinating people and voices. Until I learned that Psychosis is not an illness in itself, just a symptom of Bipolar Disorder.

I'm not really sure how one develops Schizophrenia to be honest, I think it comes about after really terrible depression? Or perhaps childhood abuse/neglect is behind it.

Anyway, try to stop worrying about it, the chances of you devloping Schizophrenia are very small, its just your anxious mind playing with you.

Take care!

[Abby1]

Thanks for your reply Rhys,i am trying to keep busy and not think about Schizophrenia and have told myself i wont 'Google'any symptoms etc

[VioletWings]

I think we all know here how powerful your mind can be and how we can easily convince ourselves that something's wrong! And that's purely all it is -just your worrying trying to convince you you're ill. Anxiety gives so many bizarre feelings and thoughts and if you are worrying a lot you're bound to be getting stronger anxiety symptoms and feeling more 'out of it'. It's that vicious cycle. Try carrying on as if you don't have and never will have schizophrenia. Maybe even say it out loud to yourself (honestly this isn't weird, because what you hear can effect how you think a lot, even your own voice saying it!) Hopefully being able to see you are not getting worse when not focusing on it will help to convince you.

*hugs*

[Abby1]

Thank you Violetwings,i am trying hard not to think about it and like i mentioned before keeping busy by gardening etc. I feel silly even writing/posting about this subject on this forum! the things we worry about eh and because we worry about it,when odd things happen we convince ourselves we are correct when really its a random thing that had happened.

[pacer]

schizophrenia is something that you wouldn't be worrying about if you had it! You would be so unwell mentally but you wouldn't know it.
Also it's a very treatable illness and lots of people with it just get on with their lives.
I honestly believe you haven't got it and i've only read your post and know nothing about you at all. Please try and disregard the thoughts x

[Abby1]

Thank you for your reply Pacer,i think i am worried as i dont seem to be getting much better (despite trying lots of things/tablets/different foods etc) and as my Dad had it,that started off the worry. Like i mentioned earlier i am keeping busy and trying to think of other things. Thanks again.

[Rhys1879SAFC]

I remember being so scared about hallucinating stuff that if I could hear my Mam's voice downstairs I would actually have to go down and check if she was talking or not! Sounds stupid doesn't it?

Bloody anxiety. I actually felt really good last night and this has carried on through to today, so I'm feeling fine at the moment! Hoping recovery isn't too far around the corner, been like this since December.

Last time I had bad anxiety it lasted from February 2008 till about September 2008, so a good seven months or so, I've currently had it for six months so going off that timescale hopefully I'm nearly there! Anything to stay positive. Haha.

Good luck hun. x

[eeyorelover]

Hey Abby
Have you had your hormones checked? Pre-menopause can cause them to change dramatically and that could be causing your heightened anxiety would explain to why change in diet and meds aren't working as well for you.
Just a thought.
((HUGS))
Sandy

[Abby1]

Thank you for your replies,i really appreciate them.
I hope you feel better soon Rhys,it doesnt sound stupid to me as when you are anxious you can believe/feel anything even if it isnt logical. It is so hard isnt it when you have bad anxiety and you feel will i ever get better,fingers crossed your anxiety goes away asap. I feel that im at in a dark tunnel at the moment.
Sandy,thats a good thought/idea,thanks for thinking about me and writing,i had a blood test done in March this year to check if im in the menopause and it came back negative,so im assuming that was a hormone test? All the doctor said to me was the test was negative but i do wonder as well if my changing hormones are causing all this,as ive never had such bad anxiety/panic etc before.Hugs to you
Thank you all again for your support/advice.

[pacer]

My anxiety has recently come back and i have few other symptoms of peri menopause :mad:
I find that i'm really anxious at different times of the month and i'm going to start a diary. I'm 39.
Also i have two close relatives with schizophrenia :)

[Abby1]

To be honest Rhys,what worried me was (this sounds so silly) i saw a frog in the garden and it stared at me for ages and kept jumping towards me which spooked me a bit and then when i was watching tv,i was dropping off to sleep on the sofa and the camera focussed on a woman who was talking at the front of the crowd (it was a garden show)on the tv and the tv presenter (who wasnt on the tv at the time)was doing the commentary of the plants etc and i heard her commentary and thought thats the wrong woman speaking-i am blushing writing this as it sounds so daft,as i was half asleep. I think as i am so anxious i read too much into things/events. I hope this doesnt sound too crazy.I am getting worried again-damn,damn.

[Abby1]

Hi Pacer,that is a good idea to do a diary,my sister-in-law advised me to do that,as she did one when she was anxious a few years ago.
Do you have memory loss,that is a nightmare.

[stevenr1986]

To be honest Rhys,what worried me was (this sounds so silly) i saw a frog in the garden and it stared at me for ages and kept jumping towards me which spooked me a bit and then when i was watching tv,i was dropping off to sleep on the sofa and the camera focussed on a woman who was talking at the front of the crowd (it was a garden show)on the tv and the tv presenter (who wasnt on the tv at the time)was doing the commentary of the plants etc and i heard her commentary and thought thats the wrong woman speaking-i am blushing writing this as it sounds so daft,as i was half asleep. I think as i am so anxious i read too much into things/events. I hope this doesnt sound too crazy.I am getting worried again-damn,damn.

i love frogs and they do follow people when they feel like it, its a defense thing, im never surprised by frogs! i have noted one major thing about "the anxious" is that they read way into things, way more than the "average" person and so become more empathetic to the issue and see ALL the possible outcomes, unfortunately realism kicks in too meaning that you have seen that the negatives in life usually out weight the positives "it will go bad as it always does for me" or things like that, i suspect you do feel that you will get or have got a mental illness and the reason you may that way is "its the only way it could be, thats all it could be! its me what else could it be?" its a habit that need to be broken and it can! good luck and i HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT and am with the fear of bipolar!

[Abby1]

Thanks for your reply Steven,im trying to put my health anxiety at the back of my mind but its hard to battle through each day isnt it?

[Polaris]

Very normal to feel like you're losing it when the anxiety kicks in. Its not my most common symptom, but its one I get from time to time. Hang in there.

[Abby1]

Thanks Polaris for your reply,its a horrible feeling/symptom isnt it? I regularly worry if i do something odd or forget stuff-'am i going mad?'

[stevenr1986]

any time!