Do I need to make life changing decisions?

[The_Next_Step]

Hi all

My life is getting to complicated for me to handle and just wanted all of your opinions on what to do really please here are my problems so far:

1. My father who mentally and physically abused me from the age of continues to stalk me either in the car or on foot passing our house.

2. My mother who chose her whore of a sister instead of me from 2009 is now continuously asking me for forgiveness and says she hardly sees her sister any more but I know that is a lie and she kept telling me when I was only a child that she always wanted a daughter instead of a son constantly! So in a way she has got her wish.

3. My 80 year old grandparents who I live with are really starting to annoy me mainly because they are forgetting simple things such as what ingredients to use when cooking a meal, forgetting what you told them 20 minutes ago, their cutlery, crockery and cooking utensils still have traces of leftover food on them from the previous nights meal even after they have hand washed them and last but not least disturbing me when I am either entering or exiting the bathroom to do my ablutions or disturbing me when I am trying to sort out my life.

4. Since 2008 we have had boy racers on our once quiet residential estate spending 13 hours a day even on a Sunday! Just constantly driving around our estate revving their engines loudly (hearing it through double glazed windows!!) and sometimes racing each other and they are starting to harass us did the police have a word with them and pointed out our house to them? We contacted the police but they just said as it is a public road they have no restrictions and can make as much noise as they like to but we can always move to a different location? and I thought the police were supposed to stop disturbance of the peace?? So does this mean no one can live in a peace or in a quiet place anymore?

5. We are finding that our health is getting worse because of the volume of them, now we are getting motorbikes racing each other, the pollution is getting unbearable, the noise pollution is terrible, they are harassing us and we are finding that we are losing our freedom and especially privacy!!

What would you do in my position? I have thought about leaving home and renting a quiet place to live in but wouldn’t that make me a coward? And also would I be able to look after myself and live a better life? (I suppose this is the negative side and anxious side of me talking and scared of change).
Kind Regards,

The_Next_Step

[The_Next_Step]

Thanks for the 50 views guys but no answers? hmmm:weep::weep:

[jill]

Hi hun :D:hugs:

You have been through a lot in your past and my heart goes out to you:hugs::hugs:

I do feel it is hard for people to advice someone on a life changing decision, YOU can only do what YOU feel is right.

What I will say is, DON'T make decisions when stress/anxeity levels are high, in this mode we tend to not think straight. Take time to really think things over, do what YOU will feel happy with.

I think at the best of times its hard for most people to make a life changing decision.

You ask the question, what would you do? Oh hunny, I don't think anyone can anwer this because to understand some ones pain, they have had to have gone through a similar thing and you have mix of things that are going on right now in your life that you are finding it soo dame hard to deal with, I really feel for you right now :hugs:

You ARE NOT a cowerd iF you move, why would you think this hun? your only trying to better your life,I feel we all at some point in our lives make changes to better our lives.

Regarding the people outside, with the noise and stuff, can you not call the Ohh not sure what there name is :blush: its all to do with noise palution, my friend had neigbour who where very loud, she got as far as getting motetors in her house, hay, but they moved, good for her. There are things you can do instead of getting the police involved, but this does take time. Hope you have a dairy going on times and dates, this all helps when you get the ??? involved. ( I will ask my friend what they are called)

I used to work with the elderly and I know how demading they can be, I do know you love your grandparents very much, but old falks can test anybody, they are hard work, please don't be to hard on yourself:hugs: your doing the best you can. Can you get any help at all with this?

I am sorry I have not been of much help, I hope you can help yourself find the right pathway FOR YOU. Sometimes it takes alot of time and the right support to sort things out.

Do you have anyone you can talk to at home, eg, a friend or relative? we all need to talk at times, even if the person can't answer our questions, it good to talk.

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XXX

[The_Next_Step]

Hi Jill

Sorry for the really late reply I have spent more time on other anxiety forums then this one oops, many thanks for your reply and support very much appreciated!;-) True I never gave it much thought before about it being hard for people to advise someone on a life changing decision.

That is just it because of my anxiety and depression having a big hold over me I just think if I only do what I feel is right and do something wrong not only will I be back to stage 1 again but I will more than likely give up and just hideaway in my bedroom with my anxiety and depression.

Thank you for the advice about not making decisions when stress/anxiety levels are high I suppose we do tend to jump into things quickly and find out later that we have made the wrong choice. With my life as it is I have all the time in the world to really think things over and do what I will feel happy with but still things still go wrong am I just being too negative? I just feel like my life is cursed.

True what makes it hard for me is that I have got a lot to lose but saying that I have a lot to gain which means getting rid of all 5 problems that I have posted in my thread but in order to do that I will need to take a real leap of faith and to be honest as I look into my future I still cannot see me doing that, well until I have no choice to in 10 to 15 years time when my grandparents might or will die.

I think I was hoping for someone to reply to my thread who had gone through a similar thing to me as well and who also had a mixture of things that were going on in their life that they found so dame hard to deal with then to ask what would you do? Many thanks for your sympathy.

Cheers Jill I feel like a coward if I move because I feel responsible for not being able to stop the boy racers on our Residential Estate because my grandparents and I have tried so hard to get rid of them or at least reduce them in size but the police condone their actions as acceptable behaviour when it is clearly not!! It just makes me so angry as they only started abusing our residential estate in 2008! and now polluting our atmosphere which was quiet clean! and once I did curse our residential estate not long before September 2008 and asked for our estate to be plagued by some kind of regular activities like traffic on the roads etc. And now it has come true but I did ask if it could happen when I left home but instead my curse came early:-( I would love to know why!! I wonder if our Council have been paid by the boy racers as let’s face it money talks!

Yeah I suppose in a way I would be trying to better my life. Thanks for the advice but we have tried all of that as well with the noise and fume pollution but they have said that 28 boy racer vehicles are not enough to cause health or welfare problems etc. 13 hours a day 7 days a week even on a Sunday! Stupid hu! Our roads are even beginning to show wear and tear especially when it comes to pot holes maybe that will slow down the boy racers in their tracks:-)

I am sorry to hear that your friend had a neighbour who was very loud and got as far as getting the motetors in her house but moved further afield please wish her all the best from me. My grandparents and I are going to contact all of the MP’s next by sending them a letter etc. Yeah we have been keeping a diary going since 2008 containing times, dates and registration numbers which will help our case a lot.

Cool that you worked with the elderly and you know how demanding they can be especially when they want your undivided attention most of the time! Yeah I do love my grandparents very much and you can say that again when it comes to “old folks can test anybody” and “they are hard work” urgh they can really annoy me! Thanks and that is true that I am doing the best you can.

What do you mean by saying “Can you get any help at all with this?” when it comes to my grandparents could you elaborate on this more please? No worries you have been very helpful even probably more then you realise which I sincerely thank you for! I just wish that more people could reply to my thread especially those who have had the same experiences that I have.

Cheers I hope I can find the right pathway to it is not going to be easy. I am fed up with waiting for a full recovery as I have had depression and anxiety from the age of 12 years old (diagnosed by me, officially diagnosed in 2009) so it has taken 15 years so far and I have to say that I am really getting impatient and I am normally the most patient person in the world!

I have recently contacted the main body who advertises Hypnotists as they did not have any in my area:-( I hope they reply soon and I get the support I need to sort things out as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) does not seem to be helping me much apart from talking about my problems and I have been doing it for 2 years now with no real improvements. Like the advert says Jill: It’s Good To Talk lol;-)

Thank you I will try, I wish you all the best.

Kind Regards, The_Next_Step