Work confrontation anxiety

[Keep going]

Hi, as of lately i thought i was getting on well at work. It turns out i was wrong, i recently had a meeting with a manager. She told me i was poor at the work i do there. I have never in my life been a poor worker, i was always a great employee.

I know im good at my job, i think they choose the wrong employee for the job. I think i was a stop gap to sort out a problem they had with a client. Then to get rid of me. I have a meeting monday, so abit anxious about this. I have decided i will leave eventually, but just need to keep my cool in the mean time and stand up for myself. Anyone had a similar situation?? any advice??

KG

[nuttymoo]

Hi
I get told I'm not achieving my targets all the time. Thing is my employer keeps increasing the targets so that they are almost impossible to achieve. They want to get rid of staff that have been there years and replace us with new staff on flexible contracts. This means that they are only contracted to work part time hours but must work full time if required, they have to work bank holidays and even get their holidays allocated to them. At the moment so many employers are using high unemployment as a way to treat their employees badly.
I'm like you I want to leave my job but I can't find anything else at the moment. There are a lot of us, where I work, who feel very stressed and undervalued. As much as you try not to think about it, when you get home, it's pretty difficult not to.
I hope you're meeting goes ok Monday. As you say just keep your cool. :)

[Tyke]

Hi Keep Going

You know whether or not you are doing a good job. Employers have their own agenda and some are over-critical of all their staff whatever you do. I have worked in places where they have obviously been very pleased with my work and even wanted extra from me in my spare time. I have done the same kind of work for others and been told just the opposite.

I take a pride in my work and I do move on from places that don't value my efforts. Keep your cool and defend yourself when necessary. Get them to be specific in their criticisms rather than a vague 'your work isn't up to scratch'. Are you allowed anyone else in this meeting with you, a colleague or a union rep for example? If it seems that underneath it all they want you to go, I would look for something else (unless you are very brave, personally I couldn't stand the atmosphere!), but don't let them drive you out until it's convenient for you to move on.

Tyke

[debs71]

Hi keep Going,

Trust in your OWN sense of your own ability to do the job, and listen, but disregard anything they have to say.

When I was working in A&E from the moment I arrived there was a feeling of being judged as I came from the wards to what is a very different environment. There was no induction, no breaking in period. I was lobbed in at the deep end, sink or swim, and whilst I felt I was doing a good job, I was haranged by a particular Sister there and accused of being 'slow in my work'.

This was the only criticism they could throw at me as skills wise I was fine, but they said that I was not up to the pace of A&E, and they wanted me to then work alongside another senior nurse for a certain time period. I had been working for 10 years as a nurse and I was infuritaed by this.

I resigned, not purely for this reason, but also because they (ironically) wanted to promote me (!!!) and I had decided that was something I didn't want and nor was A&E. When I left I wrote a long, detailed letter to my manager explaining the lack of support I had received as a new staff member (which I had been assured would not be the case upon accepting the job) and the fact that I had been accused of being slow. I explained that if 'slow' meant that I was doing my job too thoroughly, and taking time over my patients which the department couldn't allow due to the 4 hour breaching times policy in A&E, then that was something I was not willing to compromise on as a patient needs whatever time they need if they are sick, and I would not be doing my job properly if I cut corners.

Needless to say I got no response. What I did get was a cold shoulder from everyone until I left (through ill health in the end, during my notice period)

Believe in your own record and abilities, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise hun. A lot of the time there is so much politics involved in employment decisions that have nothing to do with the employee.

I agree with Tyke. Request them to point out exactly what their issue is about your work, and if need be, challenge those points. Saying you are 'poor' is very specific, so they better have specific examples of why and how they deem that the case. You have every right to respond to their opinion.

The main thing is that YOU have faith in your abilities and do not allow anyone to denigrate that.

I wish you all the best on Monday...stay strong hun and don't let them get the better of you.xxx:hugs:

[Keep going]

Hi all, thanks for all your responses, very much appreciated. I have written down all my thoughts on paper ready for tommorrow. They did tell me speciffically my faults they see. So i have written all my issues, responses i have etc.

I think another aspect to this is, i was poach by this company from my old company, which is client of the company i work for now. I think partially to solve the problem with my old company, which iam involved with now. So i think as i have nearly solved this problem. They can say im not meeting the job requirement. When they new what i was good at from my CV.

So tomorrow i need to keep my cool, defend my self and not give in.

[Keep going]

Had my meeting, it went OK. But will need a new job, sooner rather than later.

[jonpeter001]

Take a deep breath just before the confrontation or during it if necessary. This lowers your heartbeat and blood pressure.
Breathe a little slower, again this lowers your heartbeat and lowers the amount of adrenaline running through your body.
Take 5 minutes, if you can, and quickly rehearse what you are going to say to someone. Make key points of your argument.