Wedding coming up

[ames]

Hi
I was having a bad night last night, feeling depersonalised and horrible, I have felt like it before and know it goes away but it is nasty. Anyway, it sparked a conversation with my fiancé about our up coming wedding (25th august). He is confused and frightened because this is supposed to be a very exciting time but for me it is one of the things that contributed to my breakdown.
I love my fiancé alot and I have wanted to get married for a long time, but now it is coming up, I am worried that I don't want it (I am always more anxious when I am settled and feel better when there is a big change, eg job or moving house)
I am having a really horrible morning now, and really anxious and down, worrying about everything, thinking that I am going back to the dark place I was in 8-9 weeks ago. I also really miss my mum (bit pathetic at 28 I know) but she has been my rock through this and has gone away for 3 weeks. I just feel so horrible and want to stay in bed, but I know this is not good for me.
Sorry for rattling on again, just feel I need some support at the moment.
Thanks for reading. Xx:weep:

[snowgoose]

hello Ames :)

so sorry to hear you are feeling so bad and unsure . this anxiety causes havoc with our rational thinking damn it .......feel for you with wedding coming up xx

is it the wedding or marriage that scares you at the moment? and is your fiance anxious because you are .....or anxious in his own right . sorry I couldnt understand which in your post Ames .

stress is natural in coming up to big events and the same adrenaline feeds both good and bad ............nice and the scary . it is how we perceive it that makes us excited or frightened I THINK . my view anyway :blush:

a wedding coming up is bound to make you shaky and anxious ...so much pressure to be lovely and calm and serene ..........let the stress go sweetheart eh? make it what you want it to be ........:hugs:

unless you are having doubts about being married ?
think this is the anxiety demon at work making you doubt myself .
let us know how you are

xxxxx

[ames]

Thanks for the reply. It's the wedding. My fiancé doesn't suffer from anxiety, he is one of the lucky ones, but it just frightens him to see me like this. I have suffered in the past bur never this bad and he doesn't know what to do. We have been together a long time and bought a house a couple of years ago so I don't think I'm scared of the commitment but it's just all these nasty feelings going round in my head that make me unsure. It's just making me so miserable. It should be such a happy time.

[snowgoose]

Hi Ames,

completely understand now. your mum being away and the pressure of arranging wedding .............it does add up to you feeling as you do .

not in your shoes as a bride Ames :flowers:...........but got my younger sons wedding next month .lots of people descending from abroad who will need hospitality from me ..it is lovely and I am so thankful for it ........but :
thinking of getting some beta blockers from my doc if he agrees hopefully cos I am shaking now and have churney tum ....so hugely empathise with you as the bride. have you seen your doc?

dont fret hun...........as the day approaches and your mum will be with you .....the excitement and happy feelings will return .
Take care
:hugs:

[ames]

Thanks, and good luck with your sons wedding!! I have been in touch with my doc and have a community psychiatric nurse as well. Had a major meltdown this arvo and told my worries to my fiancé, don't know if that was a good or a bad thing because it made him sad. But I think he understands where I am coming from. I'm sure I'll be fine, just having a few bad days. Xx