feeling like im constantly on edge worrying bout others & tinnitus advice??

[leanne1980]

Hi everyone

well i know when im feeling quite bad as i often look on this site, which is a godsend sometimes,
4 years ago my dad lost his leg to cancer, it was his 3rd tumor so the decision was best to remove it, the thing is even though he is fine he always acts like he's not, everything is about that and nobody can have anything wrong with them without him saying " imagine how it is for me, or atleast you can walk " i really understand that it must be so hard for him but im finding it really hard to deal with at the moment.

He is suffering with tinnitus at the moment, he went to the dr who looked in his ear and said his eardrum was red so he gave him antibiotics, but since being in the tablets he has been suffering with dizzyness, he said that the dr will send him straight for an MRI coz it can be a tumor! !!! well as he said this to me stomach dropped and ive lived basically in fear of phoning my dad because i cant hear anything negative, anyway i looked online (big MISTAKE ) and it looks like my dad could be slightly over exagerating, but still i cant seem to settle from it, my mum died at 41 with nothing wrong with her at all and i think because this im clinging to my dad, and whilst i feel like this about him it ruins my life, i know that sounds far fetched but its that bad.
Do any of you feel like you always prepare for the worst because then it cant hurt you as much, i think i do this day in day out. when my husband goes to work, if he says love you or anything out of the ordinary i think to myself its because he is gonna die on the motorway, or when my kids are ill i literally imagine the funeral, or the drs telling me they have cancer, my number 1 worry is cancer
you probably think im crazy, Im just a 30 year old mum of 2 and a wife who wants a normal life but feel like i take on everyones problems, just wanna be free from all this crap! why do people tell me there problems, i cant handle death, it petrifies me and i feel like its always on my mind.
i have no idea what i want anyone to say but feels good getting it out,

when i hear anything about family or friends being ill it makes me have diarrea, and my chest hurts, have anyone got any ideas of how to help, im struggling to keep this to myself, dont want to annoy my husband so just come on here. xxx

Leanne xxx

[honeyp1e]

Hi.... hope your feeling ok ??

One thing i never worry about is death because i think once am gone i wont no about it etc as long as i am not in pain etc while dying my gran's all went in there sleep and i hope i go the same way when my time is up..
I no what you mean where your dad always goes on about his leg as my mum had a brain hemorrhage 5years ago but if i have a head ache or moan about my anxiety playing up then her reply is always " I've had a brain hemorrhage i could of died " yes i realize this but it was 5 years ago and she never died !! she should be thank full for that!! but no she will go on & on about it all the time..
I do worry about my children getting sick or really hurting them selves bad and maybe ending up in hospital but not to the extent you worry!
have you seen any1 about this a doctor / counselor just someone you can chat with x x

[Koko]

Your not on your own. My number 1 worry is cancer whether I get or my children. I dread it when they say that they don't feel very well as I fear the worst. It doesn't help that my husband is so laid back nothing worries him. I feel as if I have to do all the worrying and I to expect the worse so I can cope with it and it's a relief when the worse doesnt happen. Don't really helpful to you but your not alone.

[leanne1980]

Hiya
thankyou for replying to me, sometimes i feel my head is gonna go bang with all the worry, i never would but can see why people turn to drinking!
im thinking i might have to sit down and tell my dad how it makes me feel, since he's cancer he has become very self centred and has no idea how he makes others feel xx