So... how do we recover?

[londonchris]

Hi all,

A few of you will know me from my forum posts in the past. I try to be as helpful as possible and I find that commenting on others from the outside is very easy, whilst I find it ever more difficult to take my own advice!! :shrug:

I don't think I'm off the mark in saying that whilst we are incredibly fearful of our symptoms and they cause sensations which are uncomfortable, we all know that we suffer from health anxiety.

Despite constant reassurance, however, these symptoms never really disappear! I've lost count of the number of times I've been to the doctors over ectopic beats.

Every time, seeing three different doctors, they said they were benign, there was no problem. I got a 24 hour holter monitor, but lo and behold, I suffer from "benign Ventricular Ectopic Beats (PVCs) and I should be reassured".

Nonetheless nearly two years on from this, whilst my anxiety is somewhat under control, I do still struggle occasionally with bad days and general tension and stress.

So what can we actually do about these debilitating symptoms? I see many people posting new symptoms and worries, and I see doctors reassuring, but I see little change in the pattern and unless we can break out of the cycle of fear producing symptoms producing fear, we will never live a fulfilling life.

Better to live a day as a lion than a hundred years of a sheep right? :shrug:

I'm not really sure why I started this thread and I hope I don't annoy people that there are no symptoms or anything reported. I just kind of wanted a discussion to see what others thought and what worked for them?

I suppose if people have recovered, the last thing they want to do is come back here and re-read all their old symptoms so they stay away. Understandable as it is, it keeps us somewhat pent up in our thoughts that there is no silver lining to this ordeal.

Chris

[James1983]

You've raised some interesting points Chris. I never follow my own advice:huh:
I have had about 6 ECG'S this last 12 months all fine but my blood pressure is up probably due to my anxiety and any twinge or sensation in the chest sets me into a panic i manage to control them but all that anxiety is awful. I feel like i am in a circle all the time, came off tabs in May and poss back on in July when i see my Doc! I never seem to be clear.:weep:

[londonchris]

Hi James,

I know the feeling!

The funny thing is I remember when I first had palpitations, I used to get the odd thud maybe once a month or every couple of months and because I was a different person back then, I didn't think anything of it.

I think I went something like 8 years without visiting my GP because I was just carefree like that and was fortunate to be very healthy throughout my teenage years.

But something changed. I went through a period of stress and these beats became more frequent. As soon as I began to heed them and worry that they were increasing, they spiralled out of control and I've not really fully recovered which is annoying.

If I knew then what I know now, I'd have spared myself three years of basically not really living life to the full. Whilst I don't have agoraphobia, I do sometimes say no to things because I fear that my palpiations will be "playing up"! It's no way to live really.

I'm sorry to hear that you never seem to be clear. I flat out refused to take medication because I was worried about simply masking my symptoms where I wanted to recover, but you're right about being in the circle.

So many people around the world are going through this and many people recover too, I guess we just have to keep the faith!

[James1983]

Yes that's right Chris. I probably used to have them years ago but did not think about them - then one day at work i felt a palpitation and thought i am having a heart attack! That was that anxiety ever since on and off:weep:

[londonchris]

I definitely know that feeling. How long ago was that if you don't mind me asking?

[James1983]

May last year I had 3 months off work.

[londonchris]

Wow it hit hard then. I was off work for odd days on and off for a month, in between visits to the doctors and hospital. It was a nightmare. It took me so long to accept that I don't have anything physically wrong with me that I developed all kinds of tension and anxious thoughts!

[ciccone-hassell]

no feelin with above contantly fearing i'm gunna dam well die :(

[James1983]

Yes you're right it did i was totally knocked for six i thought i was losing my mind i don't think i had ever been that scared before. it also has taken me ages to accept that i suffer with this.

[londonchris]

What do you mean ciccone-hassell?

Yeah it does take a while but I guess we all just need to trust our doctors. By their nature they're trained not to be negligent on stuff like this so once we're tested and cleared we should be grateful I suppose!

[James1983]

Yeah You're right Chris it's just getting the brain round it!

[londonchris]

Have you read Self Help For Your Nerves by Claire Weekes? It explains all the symptoms and how your nerves works and basically uses "Face, Accept, Float, Let Time Pass" as in:

Face the fact you have anxiety, accept that what you have is anxiety and all these horrible symptoms are just that, float past these symptoms and just try to ignore them as best you can, and let time pass to allow your sensitised nerves to recover from your anxiety.

It sounds hard but it is quite enlightening. The first couple of chapters she describes a typical case of anxiety in a young man and it seemed to describe exactly what I went through, and I'd imagine we're probably quite similar in this respect!

Give it a go, you've got nothing to lose really!

[James1983]

Thanks Chris a lot of people have told me about that book but now you've suggested it i think i will order it! Many thanks:D

[xhyperyogix]

Thought I'd comment on this just because one of the posts in this thread says we all have health anxiety. But what is making me feel bad now is I dont. Never ever had. In fact I couldn't give a toss about *me*. I think my body is sooo much stronger than my brain. when i panic ( which isn't in a bad phase right now but I don't know, maybe in another phase) I always wish I die not scared of it if it because I'm so scared but don't know how to stop it. Ops, sorry um not sure this makes sense. Maybe its odd panic. But I'm not scared.. Soz about this. You know, my doc is really nice. Most of them are. You should trust them. Hyper x x

[londonchris]

Hyper I wish I could just detatch myself like that. I think all my anxieties boil down to the fact that I don't want to die young and I felt like that was what would happen when I first started getting these horrible ectopic beats.

It took me a long time to realise that they are nothing and that loads and loads of people around the world get them.

In fact, I asked my cardiologist and he said that they would only consider an ablation procedure on someone who gets hundreds of these beats an hour, and even then only because they're a nuisance rather than a threat.

[xhyperyogix]

In a way detachment is good, but I get told off for it by counsellor because I don't deal with anything, and it ends up im not really *here* or connected to *reality* which is then scary sometimes. . I guess we all have our ways of dealing with things. This site has educated me beyond belief. I'm glad that the heart beats are nothing bad. sending love and strong heart beats to you all x x x

[James1983]

In a way detachment is good, but I get told off for it by counsellor because I don't deal with anything, and it ends up im not really *here* or connected to *reality* which is then scary sometimes. . I guess we all have our ways of dealing with things. This site has educated me beyond belief. I'm glad that the heart beats are nothing bad. sending love and strong heart beats to you all x x x

Thanks Hyperyogi, we all support each other.:bighug1:

[blueangel]

I've been feeling a lot better for a while, but I've chosen to stick around here at the moment in case I can help anyone else on the way. For me, reading stuff about other peoples' anxiety doesn't seem to set me off - I'm not sure why this is.

[londonchris]

I've been feeling a lot better for a while, but I've chosen to stick around here at the moment in case I can help anyone else on the way. For me, reading stuff about other peoples' anxiety doesn't seem to set me off - I'm not sure why this is.

Good of you to hang around blueangel - I think this is one of the things that would help people with anxiety problems the most.

I understand why people wouldn't want anything to do with anxiety anymore once they recover for obvious reasons. At the same time, if you're one of the lucky few who is not affected by others' symptoms then it's great that you're proof that people can start to feel better :yesyes:

I think this is one of the major issues with anxiety disorders is that people see no way out of their predicament. All over the place people are explaining their new symptoms and their struggles and nowhere really is anyone saying yeah I had this and now I'm better. It's very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[xhyperyogix]

Hugs to everyone. May start getting all emotional ha ha x x

[londonchris]

Haha bless Hyper - hugs back! :hugs:

I guess I'm just trying to work out why people (myself included!) keep themselves buried in this cycle. Of course we are afraid of what is happening in our bodies and at the time it is incredibly scary. For example, I wouldn't wish a panic attack on anyone. But nonetheless if you asked any of us deep down and honestly if we knew that what we had was anxiety, I'd imagine we'd all (or at least the vast majority of us) would say yes :shades:

So why do these symptoms still hold so much fear for us, why is it so difficult to break the cycle and pull ourselves towards recovery?

From a personal point of view I had palpitations and as the heart is our most important organ, I was obviously worried. By the time I had been sufficiently reassured, I was already beginning to worry about other things like headaches and the tension I felt had started giving me chest pains and neck ache and shooting pains in my arms. I was fully immersed in the cycle and it was kind of too late really :weep:

I see this now but it's still incredibly difficult to stop these feelings even though I know how it is. I'm taking a step back and looking at myself from a different perspective and I can now see what I'm going through. I guess this is a step towards recovery? :shrug:

[blueangel]

Hi again Chris

I thnk you're right that being able to detach yourself is an important part of the process. I had some CBT a few months ago and I found this very useful, as it helped me to rationalise the anxiety.

What used to make me really angry about anxiety is that it would make me think irrationally, which I hate as I'm naturally quite a rational person (for a woman :D). The CBT made me think about the most logical explanation for symptoms, rather than the nightmare scenario one. I also had a go at mindfulness, which really worked for me as I came to the realisation that a lot of it is "only thoughts", in the same way that all our other random thoughts pass through our minds.

As for how difficult it is to move towards recovery, I suspect that for a lot of us anxiety is a sort of security blanket. Although it's dreadful and we hate it, we know it - it's always there, and perversely we somehow don't want to let go of it. It's almost as though we feel that if we let go of the anxiety we will lose a part of ourselves.

[londonchris]

Hi Blueangel :)

I've never had professional help for my health anxiety but I did try some CBT on myself and I did find that it helped - the trouble as always is training your mind to be strong enough to overcome it and let the thoughts flow through me and back out of me without sticking around and making my life a misery!

It's interesting that you say anxiety could be a security blanket for us. I agree that this probably sums it up. As we have anxiety we are afraid of weird sensations that we are not used to, in turn are afraid to stray out of our comfort zone, and as such, we are essentially afraid to go out into the world and get rid of our anxiety.

I guess we become used to it and as you say, if we let it go we lose a part of ourselves. Having said that, I'm keen to let it go which is why I started the thread. There have been some really interesting ideas put forward and I hope it's not just me but they seem to help me rationalise anxiety and this in turn will lead to me rationalising my own symptoms. :yesyes:

[choccychompa]

Chris, you sound Just like me (well, a male version anyway, lol.) How you developed HA is exactly the same as me. If someone had told me 6 years ago that the ectopics were harmless I could have saved all this 'living half a life' rubbish I've been through as a result :mad: I too used to get them as a teen and in my twenties, one thud or flutter every few months and didn't bat an eyelid, but at my worst I was getting hundreds a day and I've never had a day free of them since.

Like you say, by the time you find out they're harmless the HA is deeply entrenched and has spread to other fears. Mine used to be purely heart related, now it can be anything! The thing is, it's very hard to re-programme your mind, as once you have thought something or had a reaction a handful of times, your brain creates neural pathways for that action. The more you think/react that way, the deeper and stronger the pathway. It quickly becomes so strong that it's instant. Almost before you've felt that pain in your chest, you get the adrenaline burst and the panic response. It's hard to stop :weep:

I have a psychology degree, but it's hard for me to see a way out. I'm trying to use cbt techniques on myself, but it is difficult to accept sometimes that it is just HA when a new and 'interesting' symptom rears its ugly head. I shall be starting an NLP practitioner's course in September. I'm hoping it will sort my head out as well as teach me how to help others. I will let you all know what techniques I discover! xxx