fear of dying

[kate3]

hi i'm a 27 year old to 3 children 2 girls and a boy aged 8,3 and 11 months and i have this fear of dying i first remember havihg this fear when i was about 15 i don't know what triggerd it but terifies me that when i'm gone that will be it i love life but this fear i have i feel is getting in the way i've never spoken about this to anyone not even my long term boyfriend coz i'm scared everyone will laugh at me.

[nomorepanic]

Hi kate3

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[chris22]

Hey kate welcome, i also suffer from the fear of death im 22.

[EvaSunshine78]

Hey guys, have a look under health anxiety. I also have this sometimes, but I try not to dwell on it too much. Think how much time you will waste. Death is unevitable and comes to us all. Think bright thoughts, I know, easier said than done. But you could be living your life to the full instead of worrying about when it will end. Good Luck! xx

[Johno]

hi i'm a 27 year old to 3 children 2 girls and a boy aged 8,3 and 11 months and i have this fear of dying i first remember havihg this fear when i was about 15 i don't know what triggerd it but terifies me that when i'm gone that will be it i love life but this fear i have i feel is getting in the way i've never spoken about this to anyone not even my long term boyfriend coz i'm scared everyone will laugh at me.

Hi Kate,

I understand how you feel as I am 51 and have had and sometimes still have that thought. I would discuss it with your partner as he would I am sure help you through this anxiety. It is strange to feel like this but I think that it is just because we are all getting older and somtimes when you hear on the news how peoples lives are cut short through illness, wars, murders etc it gets you thinking that you want to have a full life. I also think that as I am now 51 that I could have another 40 years left based on the age my Dad died, he died last year aged 89. So when i reach 60 I have about 30 years and so on. I then think back to when I was 30 and realise how quick 21 years has gone. But I have done loads in my 51 years, Army for 26 years, and have three wonderful boys aged 25, 28, 29 also have been married for 30 years to a beautiful and amazing woman. None of us can live for ever and I hope that one day one of my sons will marry and perhaps produce some grandchildren which we can enjoy the same as when they were children. If this does not happen I will be happy to see them grow older and to experience many and varied things.

I hope this make sense and helps a little as realy you have to make the best of every day of your life and hope that when your time comes to depart this earth that those that love you will grieve for you but will continue with out and be stong in the knowledge that you had a goodlife.

I firmly believe all this as both my parents have died, my mum died 11 years ago and my dad died last year. It was hard for my Dad when my Mum died but he did keep going.:bighug1:

[Nikki_8]

None of us can live for ever and I hope that one day one of my sons will marry and perhaps produce some grandchildren which we can enjoy the same as when they were children. If this does not happen I will be happy to see them grow older and to experience many and varied things.

I hope this make sense and helps a little as realy you have to make the best of every day of your life and hope that when your time comes to depart this earth that those that love you will grieve for you but will continue with out and be stong in the knowledge that you had a goodlife.

I firmly believe all this as both my parents have died, my mum died 11 years ago and my dad died last year. It was hard for my Dad when my Mum died but he did keep going.:bighug1:

Thanks for sharing this, Johno. Like many of the members here, I am also afraid of dying. In fact, I think fear of dying is the root of anxiety.

Your words helped. :)

[becksfan86]

Hey there, ive had this fear since i was young, i am now 25 and still have this fear. Believe it or not i had a suicidal thoguht last week, i'd never have gone thru with it i think it was a side affect of my tablets and the thought id never escape my depression and anxiety, i just never want to die simple as. xxxx

[M155anthr0p3]

I'm 26 & I have had this since I was 17.
There's no miracle cure to make it go away, it's the way you deal with it. I have regular arguments with myself - the rational & the irrational sides of me.
I'm finding the rational side more dominant at the moment & I am learning to accept that none of us live forever.

But it's hard x

[Johno]

I have the rational and irrational sides also. Losing my family keeps me sane by not going through with the negative thoughts. I have feelings of being useless and just want to have a long sleep. This morning just after taking my 40mg dose of citalopram I had thoughts of popping a few more to see what it would do. I thought very quickly how I would be letting all my family down and put them back down again. They do not deserve all the pain. So got up and took my dogs out for walk. Went to find my wife with a cool drink and then went for long ride on my racing bike. Breaking into a sweat and lots of fresh air makes you feel good to be alive.

Happier now:)

[M155anthr0p3]

That's amazing how you turned a horrible situation into a positive one Johno. Well done!! You've got such a positive attitude & you didn't let it beat you!

It's true exercise makes you feel better. I haven't done it for such a long time as I was scared to do anything physical. I got myself a wii fit so am going to tackle that this week!

[Johno]

:DThank you for your kind words. Its been a realy hot day, but it felt good to push yourself. I havent' done alot either as I have been working so hard for years and have neglected my fitness. You will enjoy the WII fit. We have one and its great fun.:D

[mistymorning]

I also get these fears. Usually it's a spontaneous 'middle of the night' thought. I know it doesn't help much at the time but the best thing to do is probably speak to your partner/ someone you trust and try to take your mind off it.

[Johno]

You've got to have a understanding partner to tell them such things. I know because I keep telling her about my feelings and it must be distressing for her, but it does help.

[ElizabethJane]

I'm not sure whether it is the actual process of dying of the possible pain and being alone/out of control that I am afraid of. Having lost my dear Mum at a very early age she was sixty one and my dear Dad this April I strongly believe that life is for the living as best as we can. The very best and having meaningful relatiohships with other people and trying not to fight and antagonise each other. I believe that when I die I will have everlasting life with God the Father Creator of all things. If dying is a messy and difficult process then it is one that we will all have to go through. I have thought about writing a living will especially in the light of mum and dads deaths. What lies beyond does not scare me. EJ.

[becksfan86]

I use my wii fit too that usually calms me down x

[looking4answers]

Its normal for you have realised your mortality,being young with children . At different times in life we all suddenly realise we are going to die. Unfortunatly at your age iys real common and you arent alone. Take care amd try not to worry.

[KayleighJane]

I lost my nan last year and i think it has only affected me now, well actually its just knocked me for six to be honest. I think its because i had not experienced a death in the family and i suppose it made me realise this comes to us all. Now i am terrified of dying, like EJ said its the process of it and possibility of pain and being alone with no one to help, this feelings i constantly relate back to my nan because she was alone when it happened and im always worrying about her and hoping she was not scared or in pain but she must have been? i torture myself with these thoughts most days.

kayleigh x