Question for every one

[tricia56]

what suport does every one get with their anxiety like family freinds etc as i dont havwe any as my children are sick of hearing about my anxiety and saidthat there is nothing wrong with me its all in my head and i dont help myself

[MinnieMouse]

Hi Tricia

My husband isn't terribly supportive, having had his own mother suffer decades of anxiety - he kind of blocks it out. It's frustrating as I am desperate to get better whereas I get the impression that his mother wallows in her anxieties as she gets a lot of attention and support from her husband (my hubby's step dad) and other sons. It's annoying as I don't want attention or too much help (I think my mother in law gets too much so she is less likely to expose herself to situations where she can help herself) but I get very little support from my husband which I am sure is delaying my recovery.

As for my daughter she is only 2 and I try not to expose her to too much but I am aware that she is getting older and taking in more so I don't want to inflict my condition on her.

I don't tell my mum too much as my dad is dead and she lives 200 miles away so if I was distressed it would be too much for her. My sister is supportive as weirdly we both had a strange panic attack on the same day and we both hid it so well that we didn't realise the other was freaking out. I don't tell her everything though as she is younger, in a good job and having a life! My brother doesn't really know the extent of my issues as I don't think he would understand.

With friends, only a few know about my anxiety and I bet a lot of people would have no idea I suffer if I am having a good day. I tend to hibernate if I am out of sorts so they wouldn't see that side of me. The few that do know are supportive but I don't want to be known as the hypochondriac in our group of friends.

Do you see a counsellor at all? It may be worth only talking about anxiety to someone neutral so you are not exposing your children to too much. I also get told I have nothing wrong with me but I do - I have anxiety and that is a condition in itself. My next step is hypnotherapy.....I am going to really try not to talk about my symptoms with anyone other than on this website or with my GP or counsellor as I am boring myself let alone anyone else!

Have a great day

MMx

[ames]

I am very lucky as my family, friends and fiancé are all very understanding. It took a bit of time for my fiancé to understand, but he has read lots of things about the condition and we have had lots of honest discussions about it. Could you ask your kids to read and try and understand about anxiety and how debilitating it is. Have an honest talk with them and explain that nobody wants to go through a life like this and if we could just pull ourselves together then we bloody well would!! Xx

[Swallowtail]

Hi Tricia,

I have had good support and advice from my mum, sister and a friend, my anxiety/panic came on about 3 months ago. in the last month or so I made the decision to seek help from a counsellor as I felt that I was relying too much on my those three people, and I did not want all my conversations with those three people to be about negative things. But those 3 people empowered me to move on part of that seeking outside help, because my counsellor does not know the person that has caused me the anxiety I feel that I have received a better perspective on the issues, and I know feel in control. My husband tolerates I think, I have given him a small booklet that I picked up at the doctors that outlines depression and anxiety and asked him to read it, he has read a few pages :blush:. I would recommend seeing a counsellor for me it has worked, and bounce thinks off in here also, that is what we are all here for :hugs:

[Tyke]

Hi Tricia

No one really knows about my issues apart from my wife. Even then, if I am feeling very bad, I don't let on as I know I will struggle with my usual responsibilities and don't want to feel any added guilt or pressure. Some other family members and friends know a little.

Outside family and friends only my GP knows and NMP of course, I do feel comfortable sharing things on here.

Tyke

[Anxious_gal]

Support wise a little from a friend and a little from my mum,
A bit from the mental health team, I feel that professional support works best for me.
I really talk about my anxiety with people , like family and friends.
It does drive people up the wall if you complain about something without appearing to be working on trying to fix the problem. That's another reason I keep it to myself.
I am working on mine, it's going very slowly but I am slowly improving .

[MinnieMouse]

Sorry just thought of another thing... I was telling a friend yesterday about my frustrations in that my husband isn't terribly supportive and she made a very valid point that "unless my leg was in plaster or my arm had dropped off" he's unlikely to relate to my situation. Anxiety is invisible to non anxious people so they will never see it or understand it...

MMx

[kibbutz83]

I totally agree with you Mishel... incessant moaning about our problems or afflictions drives people nuts. Especially if they can see that we are not trying to help ourselves. I think a therapist is probably your only option Tricia... after all, your children are not really responsible for you emotionally. I got sick of listening to my mother's problems year after year, when she did nothing to help herself :( I see my job as a mother to be a constant support to my son, almost regardless of my own "issues"... after all I did bring him into this world :)

[brambles]

Hi everyone

Unfortunately I don't get any support from anyone at home and don't have any friends because of my social anxiety. I've only told my mother but doing so was quite detrimental now that I've got it off my chest after about 5 years of hiding any emotion because she doesn't appreciate what I've been going through. She sometimes refuses to go anywhere with me if I'm "being like that" and to just pack it in. She's even told me that she "can't live like this" so obviously makes me feel very guilty. Never mind, I've you people to talk to :D

Jeff

[gaaron]

I live on my own. Just you and my doc know x