Cheer up!

[haziefantasie]

Hi everyone

Just read this in a book & it really struck a chord with me;

'telling someone with depression to cheer up is like telling someone with a broken ankle to go for a jog'

My ex used to tell me to cheer up all the time, it made me feel awful. Thankfully I havent heard it for a few weeks now but I have been told Im too quiet, that really gets to me aswell.

Oh & if one more person tells me to 'keep my chin up' I might just lose the plot!

Does anyone else get annoyed with all this or am I just being too sensitive? x

[brambles]

Hi

Yep it irritates me as well. I've been told to cheer up so many times now as if I can just snap out of it whenever I want!!

[Eternity]

Yep know what you mean, I got told to pull myself together which really annoyed me, so snapped back, I'm not a pair of bloody curtains. Not nice I know, but sometimes it really gets to you x

[nhf]

I know exactly what you you mean! Since my anxiety started i've had:

'Snap out of it'
'Pack it in your fine'
'your worrying over nothing'
'you have to stop doing this'
'pull yourself together'
'cheer up / chin up'
'just be happy'
'stop worrying'
'..... has happened to me and you dont see me worrying, you just have to get on with it'

The list could go on! it makes me want to SCREAM some days :mad:

If there was a switch we could flip i'm guessing we all would xx

[Alicat]

Yep! One year after the school holidays when I always got depressed, my mum said 'well, try not to get so down next time'. Er...do you think I like feeling depressed and do it on purpose?!!

[Brokenmum]

Cheer up! Loathe it!
Chin up is another although I will admit that I just used that without really thinking!
Also the "are you okay? Are you sure? Are you really sure?" that brings out the naughty side of me. Two fingers and a swift "up yours!" (apologies) and its a rapid "yep, she's fine" before they swiftly move on! The "you worry too much" annoys me greatly! Arrgh! Leave me alone! (LOL!)

[daybyday]

I agree. Some words just make you feel worse.
Worst one I have read about it:
Stop worrying, anxiety will make you sick. Oh great!! Now I have more anxiety, worrying about that I can't stop the worrying that is killing me at this moment.

[haziefantasie]

Thank you for all your replies, at least Im not the only one to get affected by it.

Stop worrying is another particularly annoying one - not exactly helpful. Ive also just been told I look miserable all the time which has really upset me. I know its understandable as I have depression but I really gets to me that people think that :weep:

[Anxious_gal]

People are affected by other people moods, so If a happy person is around lets say a depressed person it can affect the happy persons mood, so they get uncomfortable, in order to fix how they are feeling they tell you to cheer up.

But remember your not responsible for other people.

I've noticed to when your depressed it can make you feel worse when around happy people, also you may be, being negative without realizing it.
I wasn't aware of how negative I was being until my friend pointed it out.
I also find when I'm feeling depressed it drives me a bit nuts having to hear my friends talking about what a good day they had or how they went on an amazing date.
It just makes me think about how much my life sucks at that time n I feel jealous like why do all the good things happen to other people.
Depression can make you selfish in that sense.

I also find when I'm happy and my friends depressed it can be rather draining to talk to her. She doesn't seem pleased for me if something nice happens me, she seems rather absorbed by her own issues and at times doesn't really seem to be doing much to sort them out, thats when the all talk and no action starts to get on my nerves.

But I'm sure I'm the same way when I'm depressed.

so whether your happy or depressed it's good to really be aware of your role in the situation as well a the other persons, just to try to get a better understanding, it will help you communicate better.

the reason cheer up hurts you, its because your feelings are pretty much being dismissed.
People get uncomfortable when others are sad or upset and try to fix you rather than listen.

[debs71]

This irritates me too.

I feel like screaming at them 'you have no clue about depression do you?'

A friend of mine - who is very nice and supportive generally - does have a habit of saying to me ' oohhh come on now girl.....keep it up!' (meaning my chin)

God it annoys the arse off me (but then I feel guilty as she does mean well)

I think it is just frustrating as depression is just too debilitating to brush off like that, and that fact is so hard for people who haven't experienced it to understand.

xxxx:hugs:

[saro]

Hey,

Nothing worse than someone saying cheer up! I like it when people just leave me alone to cheer myself up. I think its something only you can do yourself

Sarah

[xhyperyogix]

My mum's favourite one is 'life's full of ups and downs' or she says (somebody, can't remember who) said we choose whether to be happy or not. When asked why one was always so happy, one replied that 'what's the alternative!?'......

Huh!! Well, if I had an alternative, I would def take it. And you know what, when I'm happy, I do most certainly take it I can tell you. But when I'm not, there isn't an option

RANT OVER!!!

Lots of love, hugs, positivity and understanding, non-judgment and anything else you need.

Hyper xx:bighug1:

[Tyke]

A friend of mine - who is very nice and supportive generally - does have a habit of saying to me ' oohhh come on now girl.....keep it up!' (meaning my chin)

I think it is just frustrating as depression is just too debilitating to brush off like that, and that fact is so hard for people who haven't experienced it to understand.
Yeah, some of these quotes mentioned here have annoyed me too. :mad:The truth is that if you haven't experienced anything like it, people can seem to think it is very simple to deal with and we are just being self indulgent. (Quite why one would choose to indulge themselves in this way is anyones guess!):unsure:.

At least now, as medical science progresses, these illnesses are much better understood. When I first started suffering with these disorders over twenty years ago many in the medical profession held these kind of views too. I once remember reading in an A-Z of medical conditions during that period a very hostile and negative view of 'anxiety neurosis' as it was then termed. I felt the GPs I had at the time had similar negative views. Nowadays, I think these illnesses are much better understood and the support from sites like this beats the little help that was around in the late 1980s. With modern brain scans and better understanding of the brain chemistry, todays medics do have a much greater insight into what's going on and therefore put less blame back on the patient. I also think that in turn has led to a lot more sufferers coming forward.

As for coping with everyone else, I think I am lucky in that I hide my condition quite well and hardly ever choose to tell anyone about it. Because of the nature of the illness, I doubt whether society at large will ever be able to treat it the same way as a physical illness. I have heard people I know talking with great sympathy and understanding about a friends heart problems, then being extremely unpleasant about someone else who had anxiety issues.

Tyke :)