Anxiety or brain tumour? Questions and advice please

[micaxx]

Okay, this is going to be a long one, basically all my worries/questions summed up into one. I'm 14, only recently classed myself as having health anxiety, and this is only the second time I've freaked out over something, but it has made the last two or so months completely miserable, this had been all I've thought about.

So the thing I'm worried about right now is a brain tumour. I guess it started when I started getting headaches, still have them now. They're:
-more common in the afternoon
-feels like I can't unclench my forehead, and it's really tight
-it's not a sharp pain, and rarely painful enough to warrant taking any medicine
-the back of my neck is stiff.
My first question then: does this sound like tension or more sinister?

After that, I kept noticing the smell of smoke. It was only about two or three times a week, but then I googled it and the next few days I kept smelling it. It's only ever there for one sniff, when I sniff again it's gone. This is the symptom I suppose has worried me the most, because no matter how you phrase it, it always leads to 'a sign of a possible brain tumour' or 'neurological disorder' blah blah blah ... I also kept smelling other things that weren't there, like oranges or chicken. This symptom had gone for a while, I literally hadn't had it for weeks, but today I got a whiff and started worrying - which led me to read this post - and now I keep smelling it every 10 minutes or so. Another question - has anyone else experienced this or similar with anxiety? SHould I be worried? This and the headaches in my forehead could be sinusitis, but the only thing stopping me from thinking this is that I haven't had any mucus, although my throat and nose sometimes feel clogged.

Since then, everything feels like a symptom. I'm constantly on the lookout for anything that could be a sign of a brain tumour.
- If I drop my keys (which I did yesterday), it's lack of coordination. Ditto any typos or tripping up
- If I can't recall something, it's short term memory loss
-If I feel that a name or face is familiar, in a film or something, it's deja vu
Does anyone else do this? Do you think these are actual symptoms, or just anxiety?

Other stuff I've experienced -
-sore throat - last weekend I had a sudden sore throat in the right side of my mouth, and there was this ... thing, like a lump of flesh when I breathed out ... cue thoughts of throat cancer, but it went away so that's calmed down
-earache ... get it quite a lot, it's usually sort of running from my tonsil to ear
-this is hard to describe, but it's sort of like my hearing is gone for a second and I can hear my pulse in my ear
-when I'm in a bright room, it sort of darkens for a second and then goes bright again - this is a new one and is freaking me out big time.
-I feel like I'm squinting, or sometimes my eyes feel like they're bulging out
Something else I'm curious about: how far do you think our minds and anxiety can influence the actual symptoms we feel? does worrying about a particular symptom mnake it worse for you? if you read about symptoms of a suspected illness, do you suddenly start to feel them?

So yeah, I'm pretty much a nervous wreck right now. I keep expecting to suddenly have an epileptic fit or lose conciousness or even have a nosebleed ... it's awful. I've started sort of ... bargaining with myself, like 'if I set the table before the microwave goes, I'm healthy'. Anyone else do this?

I think I'm going to my GP for injections in about two weeks, and I'm going to ask her about all this then, but I'm scared. Firstly, I don't want to worry my parents, but mostly I'm terrified of seeing a look of worry in the GPs face when I tell her, or hearing her recommend an MRI or something. I'm just so convinced that something's wrong with me, and it really is horrible. Last question, I swear! Is anyone else sort of in denial over their symptoms? Kind of ... underplaying them when anyone asks, because you don't want to see their worry? I know when I go to see the doctor, I'll find it really hard to tell everything I've felt, because to me it just seems that all these symptoms are too coincidental to lead to anything but a brain tumour. Sorry about the huuge post, this is basically everything that's been playing over and over again in my mind. But please, please reply. I don't care if you don't answer anything, I just need to know there are people that relate. Thank you :)

[MinnieMouse]

Hi Micaxx

Firstly do you watch Waterloo Road? If so some of the recent story lines may be influencing you. A lot of your symptoms are definitely anxiety related. Do you wear glasses at all? You may need to get your eyes checked as this can cause visual disturbances and headaches.

You could possibly have a sinus infection or inner ear infection as I have had both of these and get the temporary loss of hearing and pulsating sensation. Both of these conditions can affect your balance which would explain tripping up etc. I know exactly where you are coming from as I have had the same thoughts myself and Googling is the worst thing we can do as we are definitely influenced and then we get the symptoms. Have you ever had a migraine as these can affect your balance and vision too? I also find that I am definitely more anxious when I've got my period.

Our minds are very complex and anxiety can play all sorts of tricks on us. I would suggest asking your doctor to check your ears and eyes when you go for your jabs but by then your anxiety may have subsided. You could always go to the opticians too. I went recently as I was having a lot of floaters in my eyes and they gave me a thorough examination.

Try and relax as much as you can and I bet the symptoms will disappear. Is there anything else in your life that may be troubling you at the moment? School, family, friendships, relationships? It could be that your anxiety about something else is just manifesting itself as a health anxiety or do you know what started it?

Oh and I underplay my symptoms all the time. It's not that I am in denial but the less people who know the better as far as I am concerned as I find that unless you have experienced it yourself people just don't 'get it'. Eg. my husband is out tonight with the husbands of a few of my friends and only one of my friends knows the extent of my problem so I have told my husband not to mention it or the rest of our circle will know! Pathetic really! Also, speak to your mum and dad and explain your concerns. They may well have picked up that you are worried about something and telling them will put them at ease.

Let me know how you get on.
MMx

[snowgoose]

Hi Mica:)

so sorry you are feeling so anxious and worried. It is awful and we all here understand how scary it is .

I dont think you have a brain tumour Mica .........the symptoms you speak about are very much sinus related [the funny smells etc throat and ear ] .......congestion in these areas match up exactly . There is a tube called the Eustachian tube that links throat ears and nose which can get bunged up .

the neck stiffness and headache is anxiety my love :hugs:

brain tumours are very very rare and dont present with your symptoms at all .

tell your doctor of course ...........but hand on heart Mica ......relax if you can
you ARE fine .

take care xxx

[micaxx]

thank you both so much :hugs:
MinnieMouse -
yep, I do watch Waterloo Road, I started worrying about this just before the storyline started and when I saw that episode I freaked out - I thought it was an omen! And I also do wear glasses, might book an appointment at the opticians :) I don't think I've ever had a migraine, but when I'm rational I do think that a sinus problem is probably likely! And again, I quess I have been stressed out recently - exams, home life and, well, this! And I think I will speak to my Mum and Dad ... I think I have to now, because I just want to stop worrying! Thing is (and this sounds horrible), I'm just not that close to them ... it's not that they're mean or anything like that, I just really have trouble showing emotion to them! But I will do something about this, and I will let you know what happens :)

Snowgoose -
Thanks for your reply too, the reassurance is good and it's nice to have a rational viewpoint! I'll deffo get the sinus thing checked out. To be honest, I have begun seeing the headaches as anxiety, as generally they seem anxiety related - its just the other stuff that is really worrying me. Just out of curiousity, I'm not doubting your judgement or anything, but have you ever known someone with a brain tumour? If you have, what were their symptoms like?

So thanks to both of you, to be honest I really needed to hear that :) Hopefully I'll be able to get my mind off it now before I develop full blown panic! xx

[MinnieMouse]

Hi Micaxx

No probs - I used to be like you re not showing emotion and now I can't stop showing it! One of the hazards of being female! You only get one set of parents and I'm sure they love you and want the best for you. Have a chat with them and if you cry and get emotional so what - I bet you'll feel a million times better once you have released those pent up feelings. Do it this weekend - the sooner you speak to them the sooner you will feel better. At least if they know they can help to reassure you if you look worried.

Good luck!
MMx

[micaxx]

Haha, good to know I'm not the only one :) And I will try and talk to them .... maybe one at a time though, not sure I'm really ready for the family conference type thing! But I just so hope that I can see my doctor (finally) and put all this behind me, it's really been too long. And also, thankyou :) x

[snowgoose]

Hi Mica :)

thanks for your reply .nice to have :flowers:

yes .....have nursed lots of brain tumour patients and seen the symptoms and related stuff .
you are ok believe me ...........anxiety plays horrible tricks on us .
sleep calm tonight Mica ..........no worry about horrid illness ok ? xx

[micaxx]

weight = lifted .... thank you!! I'm trying to believe you, I think if I do then I will probably find that most of this goes away or if I have any non-anxiety symptoms it'll be clear which they are ... and I'll try, I deffo think it'll be easier to sleep tonight :) xx

[snowgoose]

believe me Mica :hugs:

I WOULD not post this if I thought you were at risk.
your symptoms are not those that present with tumours .

relax love ............sleep deep tonight and stay in touch xxxx

[MidnightCalm]

I too get all these head symptoms daily it's horrible, nothing really works to lift the pressure.
What's worse is I'm a nose bleed sufferer too! But have been since I was little.
x

[Phwoffy]

Hi Mica,
I've done lots of brain tumour worrying recently (although now I've moved on to something else which is also great fun *sigh*) so I can totally relate.

Just want to say a couple of things though. I've been able to smell smoke for years. I always think my sense of smell is pretty good but sometimes I honestly do make things up - it's usually smoke but sometimes I can smell a gas-like smell and spend all day worrying about a leak that doesn't exist. Anyway, I've suffered from migraines for years and when reading an article about them once I read that migraine sufferers can often smell smoke before an attack/around that time etc. Now if I smell smoke I can tell a migraine is coming on. However, when you think you can smell something - even if you get a tiny whiff that goes past - you do carry on smelling it even if it's not there. Because once you start worrying, you start convincing yourself!


I've started sort of ... bargaining with myself, like 'if I set the table before the microwave goes, I'm healthy'.I've done this for years. Years and years and years. I remember I'd sit in bed and count to such and such a number to convince myself that everyone would be ok when I woke up. I had a really bad time in secondary school, developed a severe case of OCD and these thoughts took over. It was something I managed to deal with on my own when my situation changed but this is still there to a degree. I often look at the time and think "if I can do this by 10.43 I'll be ok" and there have been mornings when I'll wake up worrying and have to get from my bedroom to the bathroom whilst keeping my feet on wood at all times to make everything better. Which is difficult when we have carpet!

Sorry, I've totally waffled but I just thought hearing someone else's side of things might help. Anxiety is a horrible thing and it can make you feel dreadful - it can definitely give you physical symptoms (or at least make them seem much worse than they are) and it's very, very hard to convince yourself that it's not what you're worrying about.
I really hope you can put this particular worry behind you soon. 14 is a terrible age to suffer from this - I know because I did it too. I mean, I'm only 20 now so don't think I'm a long way down the line but when I was 13 I convinced myself I had breast cancer and it ruined months of my life. I can basically relate to everything you've written and I think you've done a brilliant job of getting your message across because sometimes I don't know where to start. Good luck :)

[Stephieee7]

Hi Mica,

Don't worry, all of these things you find yourself doing like making everything a symptom sounds just like me too! About 6 months ago, around Christmas time I was convinced that I had cancer in my lymph nodes. I was checking for lumps that didn't exist daily, everytime I had a sore throat I was convinced I was dying. Exactly like you if I drop anything I worry I've got lack of coordination and if I forget something I'm convinced that im loosing my memory due to cancer or something! deep down I know that these things are just anxiety. I always think, if I did have cancer I think I would definitly know! Same for you, if you had a brain tumour I think that you would definitly know about it!

you asked 'how far do you think our minds and anxiety can influence the actual symptoms we feel? does worrying about a particular symptom mnake it worse for you? if you read about symptoms of a suspected illness, do you suddenly start to feel them?' From experience I believe that anxiety does give you 'phantom' symptoms.For example, for me my anxiety began because I found a tiny little lump by my ear. I rushed to the doctor who told me it was just a tiny bit of damaged flesh from a peircing I had, however me being me, I made the mistake of googling this lump and of course it came up with cancer of the lymph nodes. Symtoms of this are sore throat, earache, feeling run down, a cold that won't go away - of course after I googled it, I found myself getting these symtoms which led me to believe I had cancer. You said that yours started off from getting headaches, and I suspect that you googled this and saw a whole host of other symtoms and began feeling them too? Seriously google is so dangerous because it really does trick you into having symtoms that are all in your head.


You said that you bargain with yourself by doing certain things to make yourself healthy. I ALWAYS do this! For example in the gym I will think if I can run another 10 minutes on the treadmill I havent got cancer because I'm healthy. It sounds silly but this is just another part of anxiety!!

Lastly you said that you find yourself in denial about your symptoms because you want to avoid other peoples or your own worries. I definitly do this and for me this is probably the most annoying thing. I know exactly what you mean about this. You make a big plan in your head about everything you want to tell your doctor or even your parents, but when it comes to it you make it sound less serious to avoid the worried look you might get back! I remember being absolutly petrified when I had to go to the doctor about the lump on my ear. I was planning to say all this stuff but when it got to it I made out how I wasnt worried at all! My parents don't even know how much I worry about my health because if I was to tell them I'd get that 'worried look' so I deal with it on my own. I'd love to tell my mum how worried I get over certain symtoms, but at the same time I don't want to worry her too.

The main thing to do is to realise that you are not alone. To believe that you have got cancer is absolutly terrifying I know, but you must remember that your brain is allowing you to think of the worst possible scenario. All of these symptoms have expanded from one headache that you've had! You are only 14 and it is probably very very unlikely you have anything like a brain tumour!

Don't let this take over your life! I bet when you aren't thinking of this your symtoms disapear! its hard to not think about it, but when you do you will be so much more happier!

Good Luck :yesyes:

[micaxx]

only just read these, but thanks so much for the replies :hugs: i seriously am so grateful that you took the time to write these. And I actually have been thinking about this less for the last week, and guess what? Less headaches :) So that's good, although my sense of smell is weird (but I have a cold, so it's not as worrying). But really, thanks a million :) xx

[lonelykatana]

Can I please bump this thread?
I am 18 years old and have been suffering with the same thing OP is going through.

I have been to the opticians (my eyes are fine, Im just a slight bit more blind than last time :mad:), I have been to 2 doctors and they both say its stress, anxiety and depression.

I got it into my head that I had a brain tumour, and I have exactly the same symptoms the original post mentioned! The headaches seem to be different, mostly around the front of the head and eye area. Very short 'stabbing' pains. So short that there is little point taking a painkiller and the pain isn't to great anyway, as in if they lasted hours it wouldn't impact my day sort of pain. But its still there you know?
I have also been feeling weak, unbalanced and not very hungry at all... (considering I usually eat well over 3000Cal a day thats not great)

Im finding the doctors judgement very hard to trust.

I have to say I have just finished school for good, and am waiting on A level results to get into uni.
I openly admit I am really really worried about my results, and was unusually worried/stressed about the exams them selves (I am usually very relaxed and layed back about things like that).
But in addition to that, I am worrying about moving away massively, more than I have let even my mum and dad know. Dont get me wrong, I cant wait to move. But the idea of looking after my self 24/7, living with friends ect is a big deal!

Add that to the worry about whats going to happen to me and my girlfriend in uni (We've been together 4 years now and its a complicated relationship. Not you're average 'puppy love' situation, as cleche as that sounds... So the possibility of losing what we have is well... Im terrorfied.)

Since I went to the docs, the headaches have almost entirely gone. When they do come its around the side, back of the head and the neck area.

I should point out I seem to be getting some sort of sinus problem (hurts slightly when I breathe through the nose, runny nose ect)
and my ear seems to be in pain fairly often.

I really am not enjoying this summer, stuck in the house more than usual, which seems to have brought on this depression.
The depression instantly made me think 'personality change, headache... BRAIN TUMOUR!'

Am I being a fool? This is anxiety isn't it?
If so, how the hell do you go about dealing with it? I am a rational person, and I see deep down that my symptoms dont match brain tumours, but the panic overrides that completely!

[lonelykatana]

To the top, could really use some reassurance.

[lauraebowes]

anxiety mimics what you are worried about, in my head i think ive had brain tumor, cancer, heart disease, bone cancer, in the end it turned out i needed glasses, didnt have heart disease i had heart burn from medication i was taking and the bone cancer... well it was back ache from my bed but it doesnt help me still ive had health anxiety for nearly 3 years some days are good some days arent so good but i recommed you talk to your doctor about how you feel nip it in the bud now hope you feel better soon let us know how you get on

[lonelykatana]

anxiety mimics what you are worried about, in my head i think ive had brain tumor, cancer, heart disease, bone cancer, in the end it turned out i needed glasses, didnt have heart disease i had heart burn from medication i was taking and the bone cancer... well it was back ache from my bed but it doesnt help me still ive had health anxiety for nearly 3 years some days are good some days arent so good but i recommed you talk to your doctor about how you feel nip it in the bud now hope you feel better soon let us know how you get on

Ive been to two docs now, but I just dont trust them anymore... Surly if you know you are stressed/suffering from health anxiety the symptoms should fade out?

[lauraebowes]

my doc told me that 1 million people can tell you that your not ill but your nrain is that powerful you will convince yourself

[lonelykatana]

I guess thats very true.
Im usually a very logical thinker, half of me knows I am fine, the other half is in constant panic of a brain tumour... Its hard to ignore that side when you have symptoms, especially when you dont understand how the symtoms can persist when you know fully well its caused by anxiety.

Its the same with stress I guess, I dont feel stressed out... But I must be, waiting for A level results and leaving home ect.
Its just weird the way you can know whats going on, but still have the problems.

My headache does feel more like a tension headache now though, which is a good sign. I guess the fact I have had these problems for over a month and a half now, and nothing has got any worse should be a massive relief, surely a brain tumour would be getting worse!

This anxiety/depression stuff is hard! I am making a pledge to my self to help anyone I know through any anxiety/depression they may experience in any way I possibly can! Having someone there who will listen is a god send.