NeedHelp24
27-06-11, 18:24
About six months ago, I got this weird OCD tic thing where I kept tensing up my throat/swallowing muscles in an attempt to 'sabotage' my ability to sing (since I really wanted to be a singer-songwriter, but due to this certain problem I always found it hard to). People with OCD will probably understand, I obviously don't WANT to fail, but the fear of failure often leads to failure/your body
After about three months, this problem was replaced by another not unheard of problem that afflicts people with GAD and OCD. Partly because of reading of other people's experiences (I sincerely hope no one experiences those same symptoms my reading this!), I couldn't stop swallowing or thinking about my saliva. This went on for about another three months. All through this time, I couldn't speak probably: every time I did, my voice would be 'choked off' by my swallowing muscles. This occurs when you tense your throat up and use these muscles to project your voice instead of your lungs/larynx. After talking way too much in this fashion, I felt I could no longer even talk probably. It's hard to explain, but imagine forcing your voice through a sieve; I couldn't sustain my voice for much more than a few seconds, couldn't reach high notes, lacked tone etc.
Fast forward to today...partly due to the stress of being away in America, I am freaking out about something and am scared I might die. :scared15: A few days ago I felt my swallowing muscles were 'closing in' on my larynx and, one day, they might eventually close my throat up and prevent me from breathing. Please tell me this is medically impossible! I am trying to talk as little as possible, but it's still not helping much! Sometimes, salivs builds up and I keep needing to swallow it, so often that I fear somehow the swallowing muscles were clamp up or something! I want to the ER, but they just told me it was anxiety and not to worry (because it partly was, but they didn't talk the other part seriously). This morning after eating a crossaint I felt my swallowing muscles felt really tense/painful and I felt my 'swallow' would just stay there and I wouldn't be able to breathe!
Anyway, I am feeling really distressed atm and frankly regret my decision to postpone my flight home for another month. I am afraid of eating and drinking in case my swallowing muscles 'get stuck', but I know I must! I am also super-conscious of swallowing and sometimes get the fear of the food getting stuck (I fear that only began a couple of months ago again after reading stuff other people have written, maybe not a good idea for me in the future?). I feel f*cking anxious all the time, having been taking atavin for a month but am trying to get off it because I read that you weren't supposed to take it for more than a month! I feel I need something to calm me down or I am just going to totally lose it! I had a panic attack in LA a month ago because I thought I couldn't breathe!
My strategy now is just to not talk and hope things 're-adjust' themselves back to normal in a week or two or however long it takes. I feel everytime I talk I am somehow 'strengthening' the muscles, if that makes any sense, so that eventually they will somehow stay in that position permanently.
Any advice/words of encouragement would be much appreciated...Btw I'm John I just joined. I think this is a great resource and hope to meet many people I can help/talk with! Thanks all...
After about three months, this problem was replaced by another not unheard of problem that afflicts people with GAD and OCD. Partly because of reading of other people's experiences (I sincerely hope no one experiences those same symptoms my reading this!), I couldn't stop swallowing or thinking about my saliva. This went on for about another three months. All through this time, I couldn't speak probably: every time I did, my voice would be 'choked off' by my swallowing muscles. This occurs when you tense your throat up and use these muscles to project your voice instead of your lungs/larynx. After talking way too much in this fashion, I felt I could no longer even talk probably. It's hard to explain, but imagine forcing your voice through a sieve; I couldn't sustain my voice for much more than a few seconds, couldn't reach high notes, lacked tone etc.
Fast forward to today...partly due to the stress of being away in America, I am freaking out about something and am scared I might die. :scared15: A few days ago I felt my swallowing muscles were 'closing in' on my larynx and, one day, they might eventually close my throat up and prevent me from breathing. Please tell me this is medically impossible! I am trying to talk as little as possible, but it's still not helping much! Sometimes, salivs builds up and I keep needing to swallow it, so often that I fear somehow the swallowing muscles were clamp up or something! I want to the ER, but they just told me it was anxiety and not to worry (because it partly was, but they didn't talk the other part seriously). This morning after eating a crossaint I felt my swallowing muscles felt really tense/painful and I felt my 'swallow' would just stay there and I wouldn't be able to breathe!
Anyway, I am feeling really distressed atm and frankly regret my decision to postpone my flight home for another month. I am afraid of eating and drinking in case my swallowing muscles 'get stuck', but I know I must! I am also super-conscious of swallowing and sometimes get the fear of the food getting stuck (I fear that only began a couple of months ago again after reading stuff other people have written, maybe not a good idea for me in the future?). I feel f*cking anxious all the time, having been taking atavin for a month but am trying to get off it because I read that you weren't supposed to take it for more than a month! I feel I need something to calm me down or I am just going to totally lose it! I had a panic attack in LA a month ago because I thought I couldn't breathe!
My strategy now is just to not talk and hope things 're-adjust' themselves back to normal in a week or two or however long it takes. I feel everytime I talk I am somehow 'strengthening' the muscles, if that makes any sense, so that eventually they will somehow stay in that position permanently.
Any advice/words of encouragement would be much appreciated...Btw I'm John I just joined. I think this is a great resource and hope to meet many people I can help/talk with! Thanks all...