W.I.F.T.S.
26-04-06, 12:22
There are many, many things that make me anxious. I've put off having a blood test for months because I don't like needles, don't like the sight of blood, don't like doctor's surgeries, don't want to hear that something is wrong with me.
I haven't seen friends down south for years because I'm afraid to go.
I'm still living at home with my family because I'm afraid to branch out on my own.
I know you often get people saying "get on with it. stop being such a wimp" and it isn't helpful, because you don't feel like they really care about you, that they understand you or that they see your illness as serious.
But, in many ways it is the best advice. I'm coming round to thinking that I don't want to avoid things that scare me. The first time I had a blood test I saw the blood and the room started spinning and I felt like i was going to throw up. They had to put me in a stretcher! After that I put it off for months, even though I needed regular check ups because my cholesterol had been very high. I've been a few times now and I'm pretty much fine with it as long as I look up at the ceiling and don't look down again until it's all done.
I've been for some really intense job interviews lately too. One of them was 4 hours long! Before I went in I thought about turning round and going home because I was nervous. Infact a girl that they were meant to be interviewing alongside me didn't turn up at all. I did it and I felt really great afterwards.
I've got to say that the best feeling is the relief, relaxation, adrenaline, confidence mixture that you get after doing something that you fear. I drove home from one interview absolutley beaming and driving over bridges and climbing large hills has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. When I was on top of the great orme in Llandudno I felt more real than i have done for years and I had expected to have an urge to throw myself down the hill or to have a panic attack brought on by seeing the sea.
I've just had a letter through saying that I've got to go for a treadmill test on my heart next week. my immediate reaction is to not want to go because it will make me anxious and i'll worry that they'll find something wrong with me. To counter that I'm trying to visualise myself doing it calmly and not having any problems and then coming home and forgetting about it.
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.
I haven't seen friends down south for years because I'm afraid to go.
I'm still living at home with my family because I'm afraid to branch out on my own.
I know you often get people saying "get on with it. stop being such a wimp" and it isn't helpful, because you don't feel like they really care about you, that they understand you or that they see your illness as serious.
But, in many ways it is the best advice. I'm coming round to thinking that I don't want to avoid things that scare me. The first time I had a blood test I saw the blood and the room started spinning and I felt like i was going to throw up. They had to put me in a stretcher! After that I put it off for months, even though I needed regular check ups because my cholesterol had been very high. I've been a few times now and I'm pretty much fine with it as long as I look up at the ceiling and don't look down again until it's all done.
I've been for some really intense job interviews lately too. One of them was 4 hours long! Before I went in I thought about turning round and going home because I was nervous. Infact a girl that they were meant to be interviewing alongside me didn't turn up at all. I did it and I felt really great afterwards.
I've got to say that the best feeling is the relief, relaxation, adrenaline, confidence mixture that you get after doing something that you fear. I drove home from one interview absolutley beaming and driving over bridges and climbing large hills has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. When I was on top of the great orme in Llandudno I felt more real than i have done for years and I had expected to have an urge to throw myself down the hill or to have a panic attack brought on by seeing the sea.
I've just had a letter through saying that I've got to go for a treadmill test on my heart next week. my immediate reaction is to not want to go because it will make me anxious and i'll worry that they'll find something wrong with me. To counter that I'm trying to visualise myself doing it calmly and not having any problems and then coming home and forgetting about it.
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.