YoshikiUK
29-06-11, 19:45
Hi guys, my first post here :). I'm a 'normal' 22 year old guy, still living at home, working with the aim to save up and go travelling. I seem to be suffering from anxiety and really just want to post here to get some opinions and to just give my thoughts to people who know where i'm coming from.
The first time I can remember having anxiety symptoms was about April/May last year when I was doing my dissertation at uni. I was under a lot of stress and I was very busy in the day and therefore didn't have any symptoms, but at night in bed it would feel that my heart was racing and palpitating. I didn't put 2 and 2 together, and when I finished uni the feeling went away.
Fast forward to about April this year, and i'm in the car with my dad feeling fine on the way back from work when he stops for 5-10 mins in a garage to fill the car up. I'm in the car, it was a hot day, and I had too many layers on. Driving down the road (i'm not driving, my dad is :scared15:) i hear this thing on the radio about male breast cancer (this is where another trait comes up; mild hypochondria). I have had this bump above my breast for a while now, had it checked out at the doc's and it's cartilage. The thought just popped into my head, and I see how silly it is now, and to be honest I never really thought it could be that, it just seems that letting myself think of the possibility for a few seconds finished me off. Next thing I know, i'm coming round from a proper, honest to god faint.
I was sweating like crazy, feeling sick, arms had pins and needles in them, and so an ambulance was called and i'm taken to A&E, by this time, completely lucid and awake. ECG was fine, blood tests fine. Conclusion; heat+male breast cancer thoughts=faint.
Ever since then, for the last few months though, i have been extremely sensitive about hot situations. If i'm in the car and it gets hot, I start to think of that day and start to worry that it is going to happen again. So what happens then? Clammy hands, shortness of breath, woozy feeling. Luckily so far I have been able to control it and haven't fainted again.
As well as the 'car episode', about 7 weeks ago there were some problems at home. Basically, money is tight for my parents. I had been having, up until a few weeks ago, general anxiety over this situation. It is hard to explain to the layperson, but I haven't been worrying sick about these issues. I haven't been freaking out or anything. I'm a relatively grounded guy. But for some reason, these problems have made me feel pretty bad. In the day; heart fluttering feeling, tight chest, shortness of breath. At night; I have woken up twice, both times (although this might be coincidence) exactly 1 hour after falling asleep with a strange taste in my mouth, a horrible shortness of breath, and shivering. The feeling pass within an hour and I am alright in the morning.
To add to all of this, I seem to have become a hypochondriac about my family's health. I have health anxiety for other people. My mum had an indigestion pain in her side shooting up her back and I looked on the internet (oh internet, I hate your diagnostic abilities) and diagnosed that these feelings, as well as her insomnia and general tiredness (more of that in a minute) were the early warning signs of a heart attack. This got me very worked up, so much so that the next 3-4 days were spent worrying about her. Then my sister had headaches (she suffers from migraines). Well, what if there is something wrong with her brain? A brain tumour? My nan comes round for dinner (in the midst of when I was at my worst anxiety wise). She passes out at the dinner table for no reason (later found to be stress related as well as from heat). As you could imagine I was almost a gibbering wreck.
As for my mum, my anxiety towards her stems from her having had non-hodgkin's lymphoma several years ago. She herself suffers from anxiety (which causes her to be tired etc), and all the stress due to money has made her anxiety pretty terrible recently. Doesn't help that she doesn't sleep well. The thing is, stress is thought to be a cause of NHL, and i'm afraid it will spark up again (this is always, of course, at the back of my mind, but due to recent events it has come to the forefront). She just had her yearly scan, and I am scared stiff that the news won't be good. I know there is no real reason why it won't be, i'm just deathly afraid of anything happening to her, or anyone else in my family. I often have thoughts of dread concerning the health of my family, and just get so afraid that someone will get ill or die. Now i'm not a psychiatrist, but I can work out that this comes from having to deal with my mum's cancer when I was 14 and again when I was 17. Throughout those times I was nothing but positive and convinced that she would be OK, which she was and is. But lately i feel almost swamped by thoughts regarding things happening to my family.
Sorry for the essay, I just needed to get these things off my chest. I end up feeling almost stupid, although I know I shouldn't because anxiety is nothing to be ashamed about. I just feel annoyed at my mind and body's inability to deal with stuff. When people ask me what I am worrying about I can't really answer as although I just listed my main issues above, these are not 100% active thoughts running through my mind that bring on anxiety. They are in the background, behind the veil, but they seem to be causing problems. By the way, this post was brought on by me leaving work with my dad feeling 100% fine, and then a tiny little thing regarding something very small (me getting paid by my boss a little less than agreed and my dad saying he was going to sort it out) set me off feeling light headed and clammy. Again, hard to explain, as it seems ridiculous to me to get worked up over that, and I honestly wasn't consciously worked up over it, it just seems my mind can't cope and starts freaking out.
Again, thanks for reading if you made it this far, i suppose I just want someone to confirm/deny that this is what anxiety is like.
The first time I can remember having anxiety symptoms was about April/May last year when I was doing my dissertation at uni. I was under a lot of stress and I was very busy in the day and therefore didn't have any symptoms, but at night in bed it would feel that my heart was racing and palpitating. I didn't put 2 and 2 together, and when I finished uni the feeling went away.
Fast forward to about April this year, and i'm in the car with my dad feeling fine on the way back from work when he stops for 5-10 mins in a garage to fill the car up. I'm in the car, it was a hot day, and I had too many layers on. Driving down the road (i'm not driving, my dad is :scared15:) i hear this thing on the radio about male breast cancer (this is where another trait comes up; mild hypochondria). I have had this bump above my breast for a while now, had it checked out at the doc's and it's cartilage. The thought just popped into my head, and I see how silly it is now, and to be honest I never really thought it could be that, it just seems that letting myself think of the possibility for a few seconds finished me off. Next thing I know, i'm coming round from a proper, honest to god faint.
I was sweating like crazy, feeling sick, arms had pins and needles in them, and so an ambulance was called and i'm taken to A&E, by this time, completely lucid and awake. ECG was fine, blood tests fine. Conclusion; heat+male breast cancer thoughts=faint.
Ever since then, for the last few months though, i have been extremely sensitive about hot situations. If i'm in the car and it gets hot, I start to think of that day and start to worry that it is going to happen again. So what happens then? Clammy hands, shortness of breath, woozy feeling. Luckily so far I have been able to control it and haven't fainted again.
As well as the 'car episode', about 7 weeks ago there were some problems at home. Basically, money is tight for my parents. I had been having, up until a few weeks ago, general anxiety over this situation. It is hard to explain to the layperson, but I haven't been worrying sick about these issues. I haven't been freaking out or anything. I'm a relatively grounded guy. But for some reason, these problems have made me feel pretty bad. In the day; heart fluttering feeling, tight chest, shortness of breath. At night; I have woken up twice, both times (although this might be coincidence) exactly 1 hour after falling asleep with a strange taste in my mouth, a horrible shortness of breath, and shivering. The feeling pass within an hour and I am alright in the morning.
To add to all of this, I seem to have become a hypochondriac about my family's health. I have health anxiety for other people. My mum had an indigestion pain in her side shooting up her back and I looked on the internet (oh internet, I hate your diagnostic abilities) and diagnosed that these feelings, as well as her insomnia and general tiredness (more of that in a minute) were the early warning signs of a heart attack. This got me very worked up, so much so that the next 3-4 days were spent worrying about her. Then my sister had headaches (she suffers from migraines). Well, what if there is something wrong with her brain? A brain tumour? My nan comes round for dinner (in the midst of when I was at my worst anxiety wise). She passes out at the dinner table for no reason (later found to be stress related as well as from heat). As you could imagine I was almost a gibbering wreck.
As for my mum, my anxiety towards her stems from her having had non-hodgkin's lymphoma several years ago. She herself suffers from anxiety (which causes her to be tired etc), and all the stress due to money has made her anxiety pretty terrible recently. Doesn't help that she doesn't sleep well. The thing is, stress is thought to be a cause of NHL, and i'm afraid it will spark up again (this is always, of course, at the back of my mind, but due to recent events it has come to the forefront). She just had her yearly scan, and I am scared stiff that the news won't be good. I know there is no real reason why it won't be, i'm just deathly afraid of anything happening to her, or anyone else in my family. I often have thoughts of dread concerning the health of my family, and just get so afraid that someone will get ill or die. Now i'm not a psychiatrist, but I can work out that this comes from having to deal with my mum's cancer when I was 14 and again when I was 17. Throughout those times I was nothing but positive and convinced that she would be OK, which she was and is. But lately i feel almost swamped by thoughts regarding things happening to my family.
Sorry for the essay, I just needed to get these things off my chest. I end up feeling almost stupid, although I know I shouldn't because anxiety is nothing to be ashamed about. I just feel annoyed at my mind and body's inability to deal with stuff. When people ask me what I am worrying about I can't really answer as although I just listed my main issues above, these are not 100% active thoughts running through my mind that bring on anxiety. They are in the background, behind the veil, but they seem to be causing problems. By the way, this post was brought on by me leaving work with my dad feeling 100% fine, and then a tiny little thing regarding something very small (me getting paid by my boss a little less than agreed and my dad saying he was going to sort it out) set me off feeling light headed and clammy. Again, hard to explain, as it seems ridiculous to me to get worked up over that, and I honestly wasn't consciously worked up over it, it just seems my mind can't cope and starts freaking out.
Again, thanks for reading if you made it this far, i suppose I just want someone to confirm/deny that this is what anxiety is like.